George,
Add these true stories to the list:
A man walks into a bank in Winchester, VA and hands a cashier a note that
says "hand me $5K in $100 bills or I'll shoot you." She did. But, as soon as
the fool reached home, he had a call from cops who were right behind him.
They told him they had more $100 bills for him, after receiving which
they'll haul his ass off to jail. Guess what he did? He took his own check
with his name and address to write his ransom not with!
In the same city, just two weeks ago when this whole area had a snow storm,
some fool walked up to a guy shovelling snow in his front yard. He hit the
man on the head, and took his wallet. But guess what Mr. smart did? He took
the back roads which were all covered with snow to return home. The cops
just followed him right to his house. Think they're dumb and unlucky? Try
Old Boy.
Still in VA, some guy had a fallout with his girl friend and apparently she
wants out. This fool driving at high speed on the I-66 and talking to his
woman on a cell phone decided he was going to commit suicide. He placed a
pistol in his mouth and pulled the trigger. But guess what? Old Boy couldn't
even kill himself!
And how about the best court case you've ever heard? A woman in rural VA
sued to divorce her husband two years ago. The judge, who is a woman in her
early sixties, asked her how long have they been married, and what the
matter is. "Seven years" the plaintiff replied. "So why do you want to end a
seven year marriage?" the judge asked. "Well, when me and John were married,
he promised that we would have sex five times a day. But for the past two
months, we've only had sex twice a day. So I figured John can't be trusted."
The judge was incredulous. "Do you mean to say that's the only reason you
want out of this marriage?" The woman quickly replied indignantly:"yes!" The
judge looked at her and said: "honey, after seven years of marriage, I would
have gladly settled for thrice a month! And further, the way you look, you
should be happy that any man comes near you at all. And one more thing, next
time you decide to take your husband to court for this type of case, call
411 and ask for the "Weird People's Court!" And do you think Crazy Mama got
the message? Naaah!
What can you say: Only in America!
Saul.
>From: george sarr <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Only In America (|o-:) LOL
>Date: Tue, 29 Feb 2000 13:47:41 PST
>
>Only in America...can a pizza get to your house
> faster than an ambulance...
>
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