Headline News - 2

By Baba Galleh Jallow

More Felicitations for Ndareh

The great and Indomitable Ever Correct, Never Wrong Leader, His Foxylency 
the Pious Poxident, Dr. Hajj Rabbi Bishop Imam Guru Hahatai Huhuhu Ndareh, 
continues to receive messages of felicitation at Sad House, even though 
there is nothing to felicitate him about. The latest felicitations are in 
connection with his amazing recent truthbreaking breakthrough in raising the 
dead.

The first massage to arrive for His Foxylency’s over-inflated ego comes from 
our own patarobotic ambassador in the Republic of Say Yes Receive Help. The 
message from His Excellent Ambassador Mr. Do Nought See Zero Jumper writes:

“Your Poxidency, it is with a deep sense of pratt that we peculate your 
successful raising of the stiffs in our country and we are even more than 
convinced without an iota of shame that you will give all stiffs in our 
country a clean bill of wealth!

“Sir, your burning desire to better your lot at the expense of all of us is 
hereby acknowledged and accepted as inevitable. We note and appreciate your 
very biting love of wealth and power and we are proud that you can stand 
before the whole entire big wide world and claim to do what no living person 
has ever done throughout the history of ordinary mortal kind. We your 
representatives in the big wide world are proud to stand before everybody 
and sing your praises and defend your claims whether they make sense or not, 
whether they are true or not, and whether they call us fools or not. We know 
not shame. Only what you want. So, stay poked.

“Please permit me, Your Poxidency Sah, to confrapalate you on your 
extraordinary feat in the field of medical, while rejoicing with you and 
your glorious ever right, ever great and ever green national party group in 
the resounding hiding you gave your opponents in the last poxidental and 
parleyantry selections. I have no doubt that under your sagacious dealership 
and polifontery, our great republic will stay where it is or even go back in 
time as you continue to show the world and us your own style of untainted 
fibocracy which is neither shy nor ashamed in broad daylight and night 
light.”

For their part, the National Union of Brainwashed and Mediocre Schoolars of 
the Center and Periphery for Non-Religious Politics have also sent in a 
brilliant felicitation for His Foxylency the Poxident, Dr. Hajj Rabbi Bishop 
Imam Guru Hahatai Huhuhu Ndareh. Their felicitation said:

“Your Foxylency Sah, the above named union wishes you and the entire 
citizens of this great republic a happy Dependent Day. We the National Union 
of Brainwashed and Mediocre Schoolars of the Center for Non-Religious 
Politics celebrate your come backing to the sweet office of Poxident of the 
republic and we have no doubt that in the interest of peace and national 
security, you will further sharpen your sweet tooth for power and send all 
so-called opponents under the ground until they can learn your worship your 
Foxship. We all wish you the greatest success in your plan of staying in 
power for one thousand years and even more, and we give you assurances of 
our highest fideration and bless.”

Meanwhile, in his message of policitation, Dr. Susuhal Mopet Shoo Shoo 
Gancha, Secretary General of the Divisional Committee of the Pious Elders of 
Cosmetic Region, said:

“Your Poxidency, your recent thrashing and hiding of the so-called 
opposition in the forthcoming national selections confirms once again the 
loud, earsplitting barking that the confused electorate will make for your 
outstanding inspirational and charismatic food and money donations coupled 
with your carrot and stick policies which have brought tremendous fear and 
trepidation to all citizens of this great republic which, we are happy to 
note, you grip so tightly between your sharp teeth and claws. It signifies 
great confidence in Your Foxylency’s desire and capability never to deliver 
the urgent needs of the people, hence another mandate. We say Acha! Dahako!

“By giving you yet another forced mandate to ride over our grateful and 
willing backs forever, I am sure we can all count on you to silence all 
unpleasant noises in this great republic and give us our usual whipping when 
we come to pay our respects during religious festivals. Rest assured, Your 
Poxidency, that the moral whipping you give us is well deserved and in line 
with the teachings of our books as we represent, interpret and understand 
them. Our backs are ready and bare for your whip sah, so long as we get 
those fat generous envelops at the end of each severe whipping. We know we 
can count on more and more development projects only on paper, a 
manifestation of Your Foxylency's noncommitment to the development of our 
hungry accounts. Please accept Your Foxylency, the assurances of our highest 
bootlickeration and hot steam. We love you sah, amin.”

More felicitations are expected to fly into Sad House where the Indomitable 
Leader, His Mighty Foxylency the Poxident Dr. Hajj Rabbi Bishop Imam Guru 
Hahatai Huhuhu Ndareh is still in hiding from the western media because they 
like to ask funny questions about things they do not understand.

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