my full response to the anonymous writer.
some body posted a comment on my blog .read her comment and my response.
''Anonymous said...
suntu, thanks for your nice pice. i know sombody who has similar problem but i think he has some justice on his side. imagine you were one of these men. your old queen makes your life a hell; she insults your mother and calls her whore, she never respect you, and she tells your childrens bad things about you, and when you call you always get angry becos she say bad thing to you, will you still love her and treat her as queen? I think it is hypocritical of you to pass judgemnt without thinking of the other side of the coin. As a muslim i adivse you to be careful before judging because then you will be a big hypocrit and not muslim. take heed.''
sister F.
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
RESPONSE TO A COMMENT ON 'O MEN OF TODAY'S POEM'
Thank you sister F for the good comment. As you may know, poems are another form of communicating a difficult factual message. I wrote the poem after observing numerous relationships were the first wife got side-lined due to age and the passage of time. Remember, relationships have there good and bad periods. But when a man ,for some reason took another woman and then devout all his energy ,his love and commits 95% of his love to the new bride,that is never going to be right sister F.
I full understand that, in every situation there two sides to a story. It's my intention to divulge further into our Senegambian cultures and traditions and certainly with time i will comment about the other side. For now ,we have to look at the woes that men are responsible of. It's men who marries women in our society and many other societies. So it should be men who should make sure all is well and every party to a relationship is treated well and fairly. My exposing of the problems of multiple marriage relationship isn't meant to attack any one. I acknowledged that ,this is an ugly phenomenon that goes across our tribal and cultural sphere of things. The social dynamics in Senegambia is such that ,complex issues are seen as a taboo to discuss. we can talk and write about politics all day long without any hindrance, but comments dealing with our social failing is hard to talk about. Finally ,i am a decent person. I guard my religious and spiritual life very carefully. I
am very jealous of my deen. If you know what that means. I try my best not to carry any body's sin with me. Some people might feel that i knew some thing about them that is why i wrote the poem. That is incorrect. This is a general statement which is a warning even to myself. I have a lovely wife ,we marry young and we will grow old together God willing. If i decide to take another woman,i know 100% my wife will be heart broken. I know that. So it is a warning to me, and to all other men out there. Islam permits polygamy. But God warns those doing it to be fair and balance in dealing with the trust, that is the wives. Women will always compete for the heart of the man, that is expected. But the first wife deserve good treatment by the husband no matter her tantrums, remember she is in shock. The warnings against being bias in a relationship is so severe that if we know the full extent of the implications, we will go about it with great care. I am not a hypocrite if that of
your statement concern this poem. I pray that the Almighty guide us all in the straight path and make us good people.
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com
SUNTOU TOURAY <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
now i know, i have stepped on some body's toes. i posted my poem to some papers. then another heavy weight posted his own poem ,trying to set standards and calling on would be poets to learn from some Nigerian. using big words .hm-mm. is the learned brothers and sisters still living the bully life style. trying to silence other with rhetoric and heavy English grammar? English is the language of our former colonial masters. why boast about it? why try to bully your co-country men with it? you may think long debaters in Gambian forums would be any wiser ,but hey think again.they are still childish. bullying as never work with me.
an anonymous writer on my blog warned me of not understanding the other side of the problem. i wonder what she means.she is now calling me a hypocrite. ooooh. that is too much.this is what she has to say.
''Anonymous said...
suntu, thanks for your nice pice. i know sombody who has similar problem but i think he has some justice on his side. imagine you were one of these men. your old queen makes your life a hell; she insults your mother and calls her whore, she never respect you, and she tells your childrens bad things about you, and when you call you always get angry becos she say bad thing to you, will you still love her and treat her as queen? I think it is hypocritical of you to pass judgemnt without thinking of the other side of the coin. As a muslim i adivse you to be careful before judging because then you will be a big hypocrit and not muslim. take heed.''
sister F.
www.suntoumana.blogspot
SUNTOU TOURAY wrote: just to clarify. this poem is not about any body. it is just a general observation. ''when bones are mention in a story, old people felt unease''. Allah is my witness, i did not target any person. it is a common phenomenon in our society. men switch camps in the marital bed. the mannyo syndrome.
SUNTOU TOURAY wrote: O MEN OF TODAY
By Suntou Touray
This little piece is dedicated to all mothers in the Senegambia whose husband's took up second wife and left the first wife cold-shouldered. The phrase our 'mothers' is meant to include all mothers as women of grace and honour.
A common trend of abandoning the first wife is despicable.
The bound that was first in place is the most honourable.
The relationship that flourished when wealth was little is most genuine.
The love that prevailed then was the most mutual.
The laughers and jokes joyously shared came from the hearts most real.
The passionate kisses and stirs were for love indeed.
O MAN OF TODAY
For whom the downing of age brings with it the lowering of affections.
Why love that was there turns into just mere familiarity?
The friendship needed to help overcome disagreement is all but gone.
No more laughter; no light hearted jokes to share.
It all fades way But why?.
O MAN OF TODAY
Why have you changed old man?
What has the once good and beautiful woman done wrong?
The mandate to take up another love is part of our culture.
But why go about it this ugly way?
You have eyed a younger love, a younger darling, a younger sweet heart.
The older queen says not a problem with that.
No power to stop you from engaging your new found fairy
The old queen fears about you taking up another bride
The fear of being left out is telling.
Many men have done just that.
O MAN OF TODAY
Think of yesterday when life was different
Why swift your allegiance to another so uncompromisingly?
The older queen is left bewildered.
Man of grace can you imagine the loneliness?
Once the new queen takes over the older one is left alone.
Man of today will you remember yesterday?
You make it like the older queen is of no use any more.
You hardly talk to her.
Your kind heart is taken over by another angel of merry making.
You talk but not with her. You smile but not with her.
You still joke but still not with her, but why, why, why.
O MAN OF TODAY
Do you even wonder, wonder how your old love is feeling?
What happened to the good old days?
When the two of you enjoy much fun
With least money and little material.
Now you are not interested in the past.
You are madly in-love; so blindly in-love with this new bride.
You block all the thoughts of the past.
You even try to distance from your own children.
Just to avoid offending the new iron lady
A lady of higher demands and commands.
It is then that the old queen realises that the old love is no more.
With your body present but gone your spirit in the wilderness.
How many women are left on the side line for the younger brides?
Man you still think you are younger.
Yes you hide behind tradition allowing you second and third wife.
For every privilege there are obligations
You are bound by rules laid down by God.
For those wishing to take another bride.
Do you imagine what penalties lies ahead, man of today?
You call it education, you call it being wise
Account yourself before you are accounted.
Look into yourself and see how the old love is feeling.
Remember the good old days.
Remember when it was the two of you
Mirror in the feelings of the older queen.
She deserves not to be left alone.
Treat your children equally. Treat your spouses equally.
If you know you can't handle two love then stick with one.
Man of today don't be ungrateful.
Your children may abandon you also.
They may not tolerate their mother being left alone.
They cannot accept her sadness.
O MAN OF TODAY
Remember time is not on your side.
The hammer of the lord awaits all tyrants and persons of injustice.
Don't fool yourself
Stop now. Correct your misguided actions.
Apologise to the old queen!! .
Bring her back into your life, let true love take over again
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