How hilarious!

PLASTIC BAG SCARES JAMMEH  TO BUNKER
By Ebrima G. Sankareh, Editor in-Chief
The Gambia Echo

It  was one of those fine days when the Gambian sky was blue, the cumulus 
clouds  form a bedazzling canopy across the horizon and Gambian President Yahya 
Jammeh  was having tea with his guards and friends at State House. As is 
customary in  such occasions, President Jammeh was giving his audience first hand 
fibs on how  his ancestry was able to conquer the heavens and how those magical 
powers were  miraculously bequeathed to him as a young boy. His narration says 
our Yundum  Barracks correspondent OX, was couched with fascinating details 
that lack the  semantic precision one would expect from a Chief Executive.  
By a twist of irony says  OX, soldiers at the Denton Bridge were conducting 
their routine traffic stops  when a man minted through the window of a 
passenger van that they stopped and  ran into the thick mangroves swamps. No sooner 
had the unidentified passenger  melted into the mangroves than he fired gunshots 
in the tranquil air that blew  as President Jammeh was chilling with party at 
State House. The entire team of  soldiers and security personnel at Denton 
bridge were confused at the unprovoked  firing of shots by an unknown gunman. As 
soldiers combed the grass and shrubbery  to make sense of the incident, the 
Patrol Sergeant, one Sgt. Camara sighted a  white plastic bag ferociously 
flying towards the station. He screamed at his men  “we’re under enemy attack!!” 
and called for more firepower to resist the  supposedly mysterious enemy flying 
mid-air. Despite a hail of bullets, the  unknown object continues to fly 
towards the station. The panic stricken Sgt.  Camara quickly alerted the signal 
officer Sgt. Karamo Manneh to call for  reinforcement from State House where 
President Jammeh was narrating his cock and  bull stories of ancestral heroism 
and  valour.

Pandemonium at State House

Once the Signal Officer, Sgt. Karamo Manneh  radioed State House, pandemonium 
ensued. One soldier was so nervous that he  kicked the teapot like a soccer 
ball; it flew and landed on President Jammeh’s  left ankle. He screamed and the 
guards apologized in unison as he was hurried to  the bunker. Says Ox; the 
nightmare at State House defies the bravery that these  State guards are reputed 
for. It was unimaginable how these much feared men  reacted and how President 
Jammeh ran into the bunker argues OX. The Sergeant on  duty, Sgt. Paul Bojang 
was so terrified that he could not assemble his men amid  the crisis. A scene 
of negligence discharge of firearms raged. Corporal Samba  Bah (a.k.a Batcho) 
brought a grenade launcher into the guardroom during the  briefing session 
and before he could be stopped, he had inadvertently detonated  the deadly 
weapon. A loud noise erupted and the launcher ruptured the roof from  where one 
could visibly see the sky. Soldiers ran helter-skelter as they take  cover. Some 
of the soldiers mistook the grenade launcher explosion as the  enemy’s arrival 
at State House. In the confusion, Private Lamin Sawo pulled in  an LMG before 
he too could be stopped; the machine gun was on rat-a-tat tat,  rat-a-tat 
tat, and rat-a- tat tat. You could hear everyone screaming for help  but no one 
could make sense of the situation. It was difficult to differentiate  the noise 
from machine guns and that of the numerous farts even from the bunker  says 
OX with a sense of humor. As the situation went out of control says OX,  
suggestions were underfoot with respect to hiring the seafarers to flee through  the 
sea. As that option was nervously being studied, Sgt. Manneh radioed State  
House again that they could stand down that after all the hitherto unidentified 
 object was a waste plastic bag. That they brought it down after numerous  
unsuccessful attempts. He apologized that the incident was regrettable. Everyone 
 had a sigh of relief and an atmosphere of general laughter ensued. The brave 
man  of ancestral valour was asked to come out of the lion’s den. The 
following  morning, reveals OX, he moved to Kanilai.

Editor’s Note: As usual OX  invites President Jammeh and all those named in 
this story to dispute its  veracity. I will never give you a false story Mr. 
Sankareh said OX. Next week, I  will give you a good story from Masuang in 
Guinea Bissau promises OX.  

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