ZNet | Iraq

The Minute It's Made Up You'll Hear About It.

by Mark Steel; The Independent; April 03, 2003

You expect lies, but usually they're found out once a war is over. But in
this war the lying is so inept that it gets rumbled the next day. So the
news starts "Oh, apparently that uprising we yelled about all through
yesterday didn't happen" or "Ah, yes, that chemical weapons factory turned
out to be an all-night petrol garage".

The military briefings must be given by one of those pathological liars
you get in pubs. One day the press conference from Washington will
begin: "Guess what, I won an Olympic swimming medal once. I had to swim
underwater so no one could see me because I was in the secret service."

The presenters who front this bilge should say: "We're here to bring you
24-hour rolling cack that's been made up. The minute it's made up, you'll
hear about it. And there's some breaking cack being made up right now,
apparently Saddam has filled some clouds with anthrax and he's forcing
giants in the Republican Guard to blow them towards Bournemouth. We'll
bring you more as soon as it's made up."

One of the sickest examples is the squirming over how 55 civilians came to
be killed in a market. Their investigations are going on, they tell us.
Because it's a great mystery how, in a city in which 300 cruise missiles a
night are exploding with "shock and awe", anyone might have been blown up.
Working that out must be like living through an episode of Inspector Morse.

The most likely explanation, says Jack Straw, is that the Iraqis did it
themselves, and the exploded missile with an American serial number found
at the site was probably put there by wily Iraqis. Or maybe the Iraqis
have built a replica Baghdad somewhere in the desert, where Saddam is
forcing his people to blow themselves up so it can be filmed to make the
Americans look bad.

Another persistent myth is that, as one report told us, "the main
objective of the coalition forces is to get food and medicine into Basra".
If the reporter is asked why, despite this generosity, the Iraqi people
still don't seem to trust us, he'll probably say: "I expect it's because
most people in Basra are, at the moment, on a diet. And they may resent
the coalition for putting temptation in their way." I suppose that the
Americans are hoping that eventually the people of Basra will come round
and say: "They might have blown my mate's leg off, but credit where it's
due, once they got here they gave him some very soothing cream for his
stump."

On Tuesday night, a news report told us that anti-war protests had "melted
away". To prove this, the reporter announced: "One night before the war
Parliament Square was packed with protesters, but now there's just one
lone man with a wet banner." Did it really not occur to this reporter that
the reason there were no demonstrators was because on Tuesday night there
was no demonstration? Perhaps he does sports reports where he
says: "Support for Manchester United has melted away. On Saturday
afternoon there were 60,000 people at Old Trafford, but the following
morning there were just a couple of cleaners."

The terrifying thing is that the people who seem to fall for the
propaganda most of all are the governments who make it up in the first
place. The result is that the first two weeks of this war can appear like
the first four years of Vietnam with the film speeded up. They expected to
be welcomed, and when they weren't, they almost pleaded: "Can't you see?
We're here to liberate you." So when civilians oppose them the generals
declare they're "Republican Guard" in civilian clothing. So the whole
population becomes a potential enemy, the troops get edgy and fire on
women and children. And, as in Vietnam when Kissinger bombed Laos and
Cambodia, the Americans are already threatening Syria and Iran.

So I don't follow the line that "We must support the war to back our
troops". If teenagers run off to join the mafia, you don't say: "I was
against them going but now they're there we can't undermine them by saying
they should come home." The only consistent way to support the troops'
safety is to demand that they come home and go back to starting fights in
pubs in Colchester as normal.

Because when the Stars and Stripes flies in Baghdad, that isn't the end.
Millions of Arabs won't walk away like a football manager after losing a
match, muttering, "Well our defence let us down but good luck to Donald
Rumsfeld in the next round." Because the country will be under the control
of the President who, as he was about to announce the war had begun, threw
his arms into the air and yelped: "I feel good."

Who knows how nutty he'll be next time? The war on Iran will begin with
George Bush announcing: "Fellow Americans, get on up like a sex machine.
We will not rest until I've been taken to the bridge."

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