Hello.  I did understand that there were laws governing marrige and divorced
in Islam.  I was only asking the question because in the article that was
posted, it stated that all a man had to do to get a divroce was say "I
dovrice you" three times and that was it.  At least that is the wya the
article sounded.  I did not think that was the case, so I wasked.  However,
please do not get me wrong.  The information is very valuable to me, as it
just so happens I was trying to explain something to my family just the
other day.
     I guess my father thinks he knows everything about Islam because he has
been to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.  He was telling us that there, there are old
men who are out ont he street, and they beat the women of the women are not
covered.  I tried to explain to him that although women are to be covered,
it is not meant as oppression, and that if the women are oppressed in
countries such as Saudi Arabia, that it is a cltural or societal thing, and
not Islamic in nature.  And he said, yes, it was the religion and not the
culture.  I gave up trying to aruge with him, all I said was that I had done
some reading, and found Islam to be a very practical and just religion.
Nothing like the barbaric, oppressive, male dominated religion that it is
portrayed as here in the United States.
     For example, I said to my dad that when I was in The Gambia, (and
please forgive me for this since I am blind and thus lose the visual aspect
of things), people were dressed modestly, and I never saw anyone beaten for
how they were dressed.  But of course, I am guessing it all depends on where
you are.  Of course, before I went to The Gambia, my dad was telling me that
Abby (she is my guide dog) would not be accepted because Muslims think that
dogs are unclean.  I took Abby with me, and didn'thave any problems with
her, aside from the usual people who are scared of dogs anyway.  Oh, yes,
and the taxi drivers who tried to charged extra for her, like she was nother
passenger.  But for the most part, people seemed fascinated with Abby.
     I took her to the school for the blind in Banjul, and the kids
absolutely loved her.
     Anyway, I am digressing.  All I am saying is that, well, I'm not sure
what all I'm saying.  I'll go for now, since I know this message is getting
rather long.
Talk to everyone later!
Ginny

----- Original Message -----
From: "Samba Goddard" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, March 30, 2000 6:15 AM
Subject: Sv: Islam - Marriage and Divorce


> Assalaamu alaikum brother Modou Camara,
>
> Alhamdullilah, Thank you so much for this wonderful answer you give to our
> beloved sister Ginny
> and all those who misunderstood Islam.
>
> My beloved sister Ginny you are welcome to ask any question, anything you
> have dough about Islam, the Islamic scholer`s are on the List, don`t
> hesitate, don`t be ashame to seek knowledge.
>
> All the prophet`s were ignorance before they got the message,and they
don`t
> get it in one day.
>
> May God The Almighty! Give you more knowledge to Defind
> Islam!!!!!...Ameen!!!!!
>
> G-L let me tell you a littlebit about Momodou Camara:
> He is the one who taught me how to used computer.
> He is the one who subscribed me on the G-L.
> He is one of the List maneger`s
>
> The day he told me about the G-L, I was so happy about it because all the
> knowledge i founded in Islam, i could share it with my beloved Gambian`s
all
> over the world.
>
> Here in Denmark i share it with different
> nationalities, 90% of the Gambian`s here in Denmark don`t practice Islam.
5%
> do it in their own way, and 5% joined our Islamic Study Group.
>
> May Allah increase the Group with more Gambian`s...
> Ameen!!!
>
> So the time Momodou told me about the G-L,
> I did told him to subscribed me, but I will send Islamic messages also, he
> said that but is not only Muslims are on the G-L, I said yes;;; but it is
> not byeforce to read it. If some one has no interest on it, they have
DELETE
> button and is very easy to find out.....
>
> After sometime he started to have more intress about the Islamic
posting`s,
> until sister awa came with the idea,Gambia Muslim Group. I could see that
he
> became more knowledgable in Islam by making his own effort,and have self
> confident in him, that`s why he has this answer today for our beloved
sister
> Ginny.
>
> Today he stand to Defend for Islam `Allahu Akbar`
> (God is Great)
>
> (Peace be with you all) Just used your printer,and print this document
out,
> i swear to God! you will learn something out of it.
>
> Any credit you give me, is for Momodou Camara who took all his time to
> taught me how to used the computer and subscribe`s me on the G-l...Thank
you
> Modou once again may God extend your knowledge.....Ameen!!!!!
>
> Allahummasalli alaa saidina Muhammadin wa alaa alli
> Muhammadin.
>
> Samba Goddard
> (Pulo)
> From: Momodou Camara <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Wednesday, March 29, 2000 11:09 PM
> Subject: Islam - Marriage and Divorce
>
>
> > Ginny,
> > Here is an answer to your question concerning Islamic Marriage and
> divorce.
> >
> >
> > In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
> >
> > Marriage and Divorce
> >
> >         One of the most distorted concepts of Islam is the real meaning
of
> marriage.
> > In addition to the brief statement made earlier in this survey, a few
more
> > remarks may be useful.  Marriage in Islam is not a business deal
> negotiated by
> > two partners, nor is it a secular contract whereby material benefits and
> > obligations are evaluated in contrast to one another.  It is something
> solemn,
> > something sacred, and it would be erroneous to define it in simply
> physical or
> > material and secular terms.  Moral charity, spiritual elevation, social
> > integrity, human stability, peace and mercy constitute the major
elements
> of
> > marriage.  It is a contract to which God Himself is the First Witness
and
> the
> > First Party; it is concluded in His Name, in obedience to Him and
> according to
> > His ordinances.  It is a decent human companionship, authorized and
> supervised
> > by God.  It is a Sign of His blessings and abundant mercy as He clearly
> says in
> > the Qur'an (30:21).
> >
> >         It is evident, therefore, that marriage in Islam is a means of
> permanent
> > relationship and continuous harmony not only between man and woman but
> also
> > between those and God.  It is also clear that when two Muslims negotiate
a
> > marriage contract, they have every intention to make it a lasting
success,
> for
> > good or for bad, for better or for worse.
> > To insure this result, Islam has laid down certain regulations to give
> every
> > possible assurance that marriage will serve its purpose fully.  Among
> these
> > regulations are the following:
> >
> > 1.      The two parties should acquire a fair knowledge of each other in
a
> way that
> > does not involve any immoral or deceptive and exploitative behavior.
> >
> > 2.      Man in particular is exhorted to choose his female partner on
the
> basis of
> > her permanent values, i.e., religious devotion, moral integrity,
> character,
> > etc., and not on the basis of her wealth or family prestige or mere
> physical
> > attractions.
> >
> > 3.      Woman is given the right to make sure that the proposing man is
> > a suitable match, worthy of her respect and love, and capable of making
> her
> > happy.  On this ground, she may reject the proposal of a man whom she
> finds
> > below her level or unfit, because this may hinder the fulfillment of her
> > obligations as a wife and may even break her would-be marriage.
> >
> > 4. Woman has a right to demand a dowry from her suitor according to her
> > standards and also according to his means.  If she wishes to disregard
> this
> > right and accept him with a little or no dowry, she may do so.  The
> injunction
> > of dowry on man is to assure the woman that she is wanted, needed, and
> that the
> > man is prepared and willing to undertake his responsibilities,
financially
> and
> > otherwise.  Dowry is also a symbolic gesture indicating that the woman
> will be
> > secure, and that the man is not looking for any material gains as his
> motive
> > for entering the marriage.  It draws the clear lines between what each
> party
> > should expect and not expect of the other.
> >
> > 5. Marriage should be made public and celebrated in a most joyful
manner.
> The
> > free consent of both parties is an essential condition without which
> marriage
> > is not valid.
> >
> > 6. Every marriage, in order to be legal, must be witnessed by two adults
> and
> > registered in official documents.
> >
> > 7. Complete maintenance of the wife is the husband's duty.  She is
> entitled to
> > that by virtue of marriage.  If she happens to have any property or
> > possessions, that will be hers before and after marriage; the husband
has
> no
> > right whatsoever to any portion or share of his wife's property.  This
is
> to
> > restrict marriage to its noble purposes and disentangle it from all
> unworthy
> > objectives.
> > With all these measures, it can be seen that Islam has given all
possible
> > assurances to make marriage a happy companionship and a solid foundation
> of
> > continuous harmony and permanent peace.  But in view of the fact that
> human
> > behavior is changeable and sometimes unpredictable, Islam takes a
> realistic
> > outlook on life and makes allowances for all unexpected events.
Marriage,
> as
> > has been said, has decent and noble purposes which must be fulfilled.
> Islam
> > does not accept or recognize any marriage which is not functional and
> > effective.  There can be no nominal or idle marriage.  There must be a
> > successful marriage or no marriage at all.  Marriage is too solemn a
> contract
> > to be stationary or non-effective.  So if it does not serve its purpose
or
> > function properly, it may be terminated by divorce with conservation of
> all
> > rights of the parties concerned.  This is because there is no point in
> keeping
> > a nominal and worthless contract, and to save human kind from being tied
> by
> > vows which cannot be honored.
> >
> >         When the Islamic marriage, which is based on the said
regulations
> and governed
> > by the said precautions, does not function properly, there must be some
> very
> > serious obstacles in the way, something that cannot be overcome by
> > reconciliation.  In a situation like this, divorce is applicable.
> However, it
> > is the last resort because it is described by the Prophet as the most
> > detestable of all lawful things in the sight of God.  But before taking
> this
> > final and desperate step, some attempts must be made in the following
> order:
> >
> > 1.      The two parties involved must try to settle their disputes and
> solve    their
> > problems between themselves.
> >
> > 2.      If they fail, two arbitrators, one from the husband's relations
> and the
> > other from the wife's, must be commissioned to try to make peace between
> them
> > and settle their differences.
> >
> > 3.      If this attempt also fails, divorce might be applied.
> >
> >         In applying divorce to such a difficult situation, Islamic Law
> > requires that it should be agreed upon by both parties, and grants each
of
> them
> > the right of seeking divorce.  It does not confine the right of divorce
to
> the
> > man only or to the woman alone.  Both can exercise this right.  If
either
> one
> > of the two parties does not feel secure or happy with the other who
> arbitrarily
> > refuses to grant divorce, and if the demand of divorce is found
> justifiable,
> > the court must interfere and help the wronged party to obtain a divorce.
> It is
> > the duty of the Law administrators to see to it that all rights are
> preserved
> > and that harm is minimized.
> >
> >         After the divorce takes place, there is a waiting period
normally
> three to
> > twelve months - during which the divorcee is completely supported and
> > maintained by her former husband.  She cannot marry another man before
the
> > expiration of this period.  The waiting period is another chance for
both
> to
> > reconsider their attitudes in a more serious manner and deliberate on
the
> > reflections of their separation.  If they desire during that period to
> reunite,
> > they are permitted to do so.  In fact, they are encouraged to reunite
> because
> > separation in this way usually helps them appreciate one another more.
> When
> > the waiting period expires, the divorcee is free to marry another man.
> They
> > are no longer obligated to one another.
> >
> >         Should there be a reunion between the divorcee and her former
> husband, their
> > marriage will be just like a fresh one.  If their relations do not
> improve,
> > they can resort to the same solution of divorce, after which they may
> reunite
> > by a new marriage in case they so desire. But if this second reunion
does
> not
> > succeed, then a final divorce   may be applied.
> >
> >         By allowing divorce in the first place, Islam declares its
policy
> > that it cannot tolerate unhappy, cold and stagnant marriages which are
> much
> > more harmful than divorce.  By making it twice, one after the other,
with
> the
> > choice of the parties to reunite, it offers every conceivable chance to
> make
> > marriage effective and purposeful.  Here, Islam is prepared to tackle
all
> kinds
> > of problems and cope with all situations.  It does not endanger marriage
> by
> > allowing divorce.  On the contrary, it insures it by the very same
> measure, for
> > the wrong person would know that the wronged one can free himself or
> herself
> > from injustice and harm by divorce.  By realizing that marriage is
binding
> only
> > as long as it is functional and successful, both parties would do their
> utmost
> > to make their marriage fulfilling before doing anything that might
affect
> the
> > continuance of marriage.  It makes each party careful in choosing the
> other
> > partner before marriage and in treating that partner afterwards.
> >
> >         When Islam makes divorce obtainable by mutual consent or by the
> interference
> > of the court on behalf of the wronged party, it stands firmly on guard
for
> > morality and human dignity.  It does not force a person to suffer the
> injustice
> > and harm of an unfaithful partner.  It does not drive people to
immorality
> and
> > indecency.  It tells them this: either you live together legally and
> happily or
> > else you separate in a dignified and decent way.  What is morally and
> humanly
> > most remarkable about Islam in this respect is that it does not force
any
> > person to lower his or her dignity and degrade his morality just to
obtain
> a
> > divorce.  It is not necessary for a Muslin to "separate" from his or her
> > partner some years before divorce can be granted.  Nor is the granting
of
> > divorce conditional on adultery.  "Separation" as endorsed by many
systems
> can
> > and certainly does involve immoral and indecent actions.  In case of
> > "separation" of this kind the person can neither enjoy his rights nor
> fulfill
> > his obligations of marriage.  He or she is officially married, but how
> much
> > does he enjoy married life?  He is tied as tightly as can be, yet he is
> loose
> > that no restrictions can affect him.  He cannot get a divorce or
remarry,
> but
> > is there any legal limit to his scope of extramarital relationships?  He
> can
> > move with whomever he likes unchecked and unrestricted.  These are
things
> which
> > happen every day and need no elaboration.  "Separation" of this kind
might
> help
> > someone to finally get a divorce, but how costly it is to morality and
how
> high
> > the price is for society to pay!  This is something that Islam can never
> accept
> > or endorse, because it would violate the whole system of moral values
> which
> > Islam cherishes.
> >
> >         Considering the case of adultery and its endorsement by some
> systems as a
> > basis for divorce, we can only say this: it is so humiliating to human
> dignity
> > and detrimental to morality that a person should commit adultery or
> pretend to
> > have committed it to obtain a divorce.  The viewpoint of Islam on
adultery
> has
> > been already stated above.  What happens, however, in most cases is
this:
> > people are not divorced because they have committed adultery or pretend
to
> have
> > committed it, but they commit adultery or pretend it in order to obtain
> divorce
> > decrees, which are not granted otherwise.  What a reverse and
disgraceful
> > course in human relations!
> >
> > This is the stand of Islam on the matter.  If divorce has to be obtained
> as a
> > last resort, it must be granted with dignity and due respect.  When
Islam
> is
> > applied to married life, there will be no room for "separation" or
> "adultery"
> > as bases for divorce.  Nor will there be that easy Hollywood-type
divorce,
> > which sprang as an extreme reaction to an extreme rigidity.  Any system
> dealing
> > with humai nature has to be realistic and moderate, making allowances
for
> all
> > circumstances with preparedness to cope with all conditions.  Else, it
> would be
> > self-destructive and groundless, a state of which Islam is absolutely
free
> (see
> > Qur'an, 2:224-232; 4:34-3-5; 4:127-130).
> >
> >         One final remark will conclude this discussion.  In virtually
> every known
> > society and religion, there are ways to terminate any marriage.  The
> divorce
> > rates in the industrialized world are rapidly rising and divorce laws
are
> > increasingly liberalized.  However, divorce in Islam remains a
remarkable
> moral
> > act.  Mates are commanded by God to be kind and patient and are reminded
> of how
> > one may dislike something in one's mate in which God has placed much
good
> and
> > virtue.  They are assured of God's help if they mean well and stay
> together.
> > But if they must part by divorce, it is to be sought without intent of
> injury
> > or harm.  If they part gracefully and honorably, God assures them of
> enrichment
> > of His all-reaching bounty.  The whole marital context, from beginning
to
> end,
> > is centered around and oriented to the belief in God.  The verses
dealing
> with
> > divorce are not dry legal stipulations; they commence and conclude with
> moral
> > exhortations of a high order.  The moral commitments of the parties
extend
> far
> > beyond the divorce date.  Indeed, the entire question is so incorporated
> into a
> > highly moral system that divorce is rightly regarded as a moral act in
the
> > main.
> >
> > source: Islam In Focus by Hammudah Abdalati
> >
> > regards,
> > Momodou Camara
> >
> > http://home3.inet.tele.dk/mcamara/
> > ***********
> > "None has the right to be woshipped except Allaah, alone, without
partner.
> > To Him belongs all sovereignty and praise and he is over all things
> > omnipotent"
> > ***********
> >
>
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> >
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