Brother Alieu,

Your two cents are worth more. Anytime we as muslims act and or look for
answers outside the Quran and Sunnah, we find ourselves in endless fitnah.
Allah does not make things halal/Haram for play.  I don't believe any man on
this list finds it acceptable to oppress one's spouse. Injustice and
oppression toward animals is forbidden let alone human beings. The one who
believes in Allah and the day of judgement should know that their actions
will be accounted for.

Looking back, The problems most of the time is the man is running his
household based one his desires and or cultural mores. When trouble erupts
the individual in charge of mediation relies on traditional/cultural (Munge
nyal sa dom yaa ko barr ke) methodoligies to resolve the problem. Patience
is required of everyone so does honoring individual's rights. We have a long
way to go but by bringing the issue in the open, this will help.

Regards,
MJohnson


>From: Alieu Jawara <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Polygammy...
>Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2004 00:40:43 -0700
>
>May I throw my two cents to this very exiting topic. Some of you say women
>should start a movement to stop men taking advantage of them. This is a
>great idea but perhaps men can help even better. Without the involvement of
>educated and "powerful" men the progress will be quite slow indeed. God
>knows there are a lot of women suffering in silence. Can't leave x years of
>marriage because they have nothing to fall back on due to poverty. Who
>knows maybe this forum can even begin to set up something just for the sake
>of Allah. Women could be educated publicly and the same time warning men of
>their actions. Financially we could help by taking their case up to
>justice.
>
>One thing I don't agree with the forum with is the issue of prenuptial
>agreements, to sign that the marriage will forever be monogamous. Someone
>also said polygamy is synonymous with sexual infidelity (stand corrected
>incase of any misquotations). First, Islam gives a lot of power to women as
>the lady that traditionally brings up the future heads of society. She must
>always be treated kindly and respectfully. The wife batters wont find their
>actions supported by any parts of the Qur'an or sunnah. However, polygamy
>is the allowed by the Qur'an, the primary source of muslim belief. Allah's
>wisdom is much greater than ours and he knows why he made his law to be so.
>By making it haram (unlawful) onto yourself is taking Allah's merciful law
>into your own hands. Several of Allah's prophets (who are absolutely
>perfect creatures) have lived polygamous lives, including the final one
>Nabiy Mustapha Alaihi salaam. His companions, whom we should take as our
>role models, also did the same. Just to remind you briefly that our noble
>prophet (may on him be peace) lived his first 25 years as a chaste bachelor
>and the next 25 years in a monogamous marriage with a wife (widowed) 15
>years his seniour. Apart from Aisha (daughter of his closest companion),
>the remainder of his marriages were to divorcées or widows. His marriages
>are vlearly out of compassion and not of passion. There are several reasons
>(which I wont talk about here) where it might be necessary to marry a
>second, third or fourth wife). I think it's quite wrong to deny yourself of
>halaal just because the love at the time of marriage is so high. The love
>for Allah and his laws should be much greater. Polygamy is definitely not
>synonymous to sexual infidelity where a husband sneaks out on a family that
>he should love and care for just to come back with bag of lies! Several
>verses come to mind but how about this one in conclusion:
>
>16:116   "And, for what your tongues describe, do not utter the lie,
>(saying) This is lawful and this is unlawful, in order to forge a lie
>against Allah; surely those who forge the lie against Allah shall not
>prosper"
>
>66:01 "O Prophet! why do you forbid (yourself) that which Allah has made
>lawful for you; you seek to please your wives; and Allah is Forgiving,
>Merciful"
>
>I advise you read the commentary of the above and read up on the sunnah
>regarding polygamy.
>
>Salaam,
>
>Alieu Jawara
>
>P.S. Can I ask the directors to change my email address to
>[log in to unmask] These very exciting articles having interrupting my
>work. I can't help reading them when they pop up on the screen. By moving
>it to my free mail, I can choose to read them at lunch or at the end of the
>day. Thanks all.
>
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