Dear Sister F. Dibba,
I am starting with your this sentence "Is it really that hard for a man to be with just one woman? Like Adama & Hawa.. "
This sentence shows that you are a very sweet, naive, emotional and romantic person, like many ladies who are dreaming of the Mr. Right or a wonderful world that does not exist. Please excuse my hard assessment.
In case you missed it, Awa faced NO competition. GOD CREATED ADAM and EVA alone. So there were no other ladies or men around "to cause trouble." But remember Awa alone (if we ignore the snake) seduced Adam into eating that forbidden fruit.
My sister, the period of Adam cannot be compared to the period of the Holy Prophet Muhammed or the current men.
Polygamy is a very controversial topic that will stay with us. The Holy Prophet Muhammed married 9 (nine) wives. Even though the Holy Qur'an limits the number to 4 (four), some scholars and peachers keep telling "believing men" to see the Prophet as "the best role model", whatever that means.
Even the wannabe prophet of terror Usama Bin Laden has at least 6 (six) wives for now, not to mention the petro-dollar Sheichs and our African burgeoises!
Recently the BBC uncovered a Nigerian man named Abubakar with 86 wives. The hypocritical religious leaders in Nigeria and other countries disowned the man and told him to keep 4 (four) and divorce the remaining 82 wives or face the Sharia Death!
What these hypocritical religious leaders fail to say is: who will take care of the remaining 82 women? How will the 82 divorced wives be integrated into society?
We must not forget that Holy Prophet married 9 wives with the argument of integrating them into society.
If those religious hypocrites really care about the welfare of the 86 women why did they waited until the BBC came up with the news? Why are they not seeking the opinions of the 86 wives?
Sister F.Dabba, biologically speaking MEN ARE BORN PROMISCIOUS and are by nature sexually active. Without this natural instinct the reproduction process of the human race would not last a generation!!!
All these talks of faithfulnes and polygamy are the products of the religious morality which is at times exaggerated by some crazy preachers who hypocritically deny the rules of nature (I mean, the do-as-I-preach-but-not-as-I-do elites).
If we are to be honest, no man can escape the temptations of polygamy and our sex-sells generation. It is extremly difficult for a sexually active man to behave with the omnipresence of sex in our every day lives... more and more beautiful and SEDUCTIVE ladies are coming up everyday. What these ladies can do to trap married and unmarried men, even Awa could not have done to Adam!
By and large, many of the so-called educated and emancipated women live in a dream world!
They keep setting unrealsitc conditions for Mr. Right who does not exist! Men who try to appease the "conscious" women end up ruining their own lives. Adam tried appeasing Awa in the name of love by eating that forbidden fruit (disobeying God to make the woman happy) and he was chased out of paradise like a dog!!
Women are men's trouble!!!
Polygamy is NO gurantee for faithfulness. The men, monogamous or polygamous, can always have fun outside (monogamists Bill Clinton dipped cigars into Monica Lewinsky's pussy and John Edwards and Elliot Spitzer did better) !!!
Women in monogamous or polygamous relationships can also sleep around (have affairs and one-night-stands). This reality exists in The Gambia, Senegal and all other countries where men and women live.
I see polygamy as a TOOL of testing or learning about tolerance and social security (integrating the excess supply of women into society). I know some men are selfish and exploitative but one should not generalize things or demonize all men.
I am not in for polygamy but I will not also condemn the polgygmists either. I am young and I can't tell if during my next visits to the Gambia I will not fall victim to the "Nyamu-Joddo" trick or "manyo" syndrome!
Do not hesitate to share your thoughts with me..
E.S.
Cairo
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-------- Original-Nachricht --------
> Datum: Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:04:55 -0400
> Von: "F.Dibba" <[log in to unmask]>
> An: [log in to unmask]
> Betreff: SO,ABOUT POLYGAMY
> Please Excuse my Virgin mind,? But Since i am continuously educating
> myself in Religion, i would like to hear your thoughts on this..? With all this
> talk about polygamy and how it is a great for Men. i am wondering, what do
> women gain out of Polygamy? Because, to be honest,
>
> ?Personally i see no benefit in polygamy as part of my life....
>
> ?Even with four wives men are still cheating... then they divorce one
> woman to make way for another..How is this right?..And where is the LOVE? .
>
> And about asking permission from your wife, Is this actually a reality??
> it really does not seem that this rule is being applied,.
>
> . And if she says No.. What then? Do you not marry the 2nd wife anyway..
> or do you divorce the wife that said No?? i do not get it.
>
> Is it really that hard for a man to be with just one woman? Like Adama &
> Hawa.. And if a man feels that they nolonger love their wife , or she is not
> satisfying thier needs, or for whatever reason, they are attracted to
> another woman, can they not discuss with her and perhaps get divorced?
>
> ?I think keeping a woman there out of "KOLAREH" for old times sake( could
> not find the right word in english for this) is more insulting than
> actually divorcing her,, since there is no love, you? just keep her because she is
> a mother to you kids etc.. i guess her period to be loved has ended.. and
> now she has to be content and wait for death, whilst the man rejuvenates
> himself with a new love
>
> I think in this world that we live in now. Polygamy, especially in Gambia,
> has caused many problems, Women fighting. families breaking up, kids
> confused.
>
> And l The Marabouts!!!!!? The so called Juju men that a lot of,? women
> visit to keep their men, and destroy each other, or to get cheating husbands
> to marry them.. The stuff that women put in men's food.. Seriously ,
> unhiegienic and as teenagers like to say.. Gross!!!
>
> ?And you know what is funny, if you have four wives, be assured that all
> these women are putting weird things in your food, because they all want to
> be number 1..
> Heck.. even the one wife, goes to marabouts just to keep her husband from
> straying away from her..
>
> ?Now whether these Crazy JuJu things work or not i do not know.. but i
> have heard of things like menstrauration blood, pee, spit etc being mixed in
> mens food..those aint even that bad..
>
> And? men live longer with multiple wives?... I DO NOT THINK SO....
>
>
>
> So Anyway reading Surat An Nissa..
>
>
> "And if you apprehend that you will not be able to do justice to
> orphan girls, then marry such other women as seem good to you, two,
> three, four, but if you are afraid that you will not be able to keep
> two wives on equal terms, then marry one only or captives whom you own.
> This is nearer to keeping you away from doing injustice." SURAT AN NISSA
>
>
>
>
> Okay so Allah revealed Surat aAn Nissa after the battle of UHUD, Right?
> hence the orphaned girls referred to in that chapter.. meaning the
> wives of men that died in battle. this was a way to help the War Widows,
> by marrying them and providing for them. the times called for it, This is
> what i understand from reading this verse..
>
> ?Equal terms... well that is nearly impossible.. can you love them
> equally?
>
> My question is, What is your translation of this verse? Does it mean
> polygamy is a right for all men or a responsibility to women who have
> lost their husbands in battle and need help?
>
> Like i said, i still have a virgin mind.. This is not meant to start a
> fight with any polygamous men, or religious fanatics.. i just want to
> understand and better Educate myself
>
>
> Ngen Balal Ma Aha
>
>
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> LIVE WELL AND PROSPER
> F.Dibba
>
>
> いいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい
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