Baba, I love your bites. It`s been a little while but stay blessed and all the rest of you on the list!

 

EID MUBARAK TO YOU ALL!!!

 

Alieu

 

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From: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Baba Galleh Jallow
Sent: Monday, January 09, 2006 6:36 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: [SPAM] - Return of the Pious Critic - A story - Email contains a url listed on multi.surbl.org

 

Return of the Pious Critic

By Baba Galleh Jallow

For a while after the publication of his profile in our local media, Puhus the postmodern critic had gone underground. Of course, the jealous midgets who called themselves journalists did not dare to refer to him by name. But they made some stupid innuendos and petty suggestions. They pretended to talk about the moon while they were talking about the cow. Who did they think they were fooling? Did they not know that he, Puhus the post-modern critic, knew who they were refering to? Right damn well he knew it! And he would deal with them in good time. He would put them all in their stupid little places!!

For the time being though, the heat was too much for our pious critic. shhhh . . . he must not hear it said. But it was burning his face. It seemed as if his face had been held close to a blazing furnace. And as he lay in bed every night, he felt pangs of shame stinging his fat face and making him wince in the darkness. It was, he muttered to himself in postmodernspeak, "expedientially hyper-rational to exercise a degree of pretemporate antisociality for the time being." Go underground for a while, nurse his anger and wounded ego, plunge into the depths of current post-modern literature and, when the right time comes, spring forth like a tiger and deal all those mouthy nonentities such a blow as they would never recover from!! 

When people asked Puhus why he no longer came to our village assembly to debate our common townsfolk and defend his boss, the Great Dr. Yahakat Comganarr, who has sincetaken up the additional title of Medical, Puhus calmly retorted that he was engaged in a vast research project that left him no time to be engaged in what he called "the current discourse of under-granulated subjectivity" that was the stock in trade of our ignorant common townsfolk. When someone suggested that he really should try to come on board because folks learnt from his great wisdom, Puhus the critic gravely retorted, "Nay, not now. I would not have the logo-centric co-patiency to deal with those fools just now 'cos I'm so busy." And when his boss himself asked why Puhus the critic had been so silent those days while those puny little fellows blasphemed his pious name, Puhus whispered in his ear to just be patient my lord. He was going to bounce back soon and deal those impudent blokes such a mighty blow that they would disappear into hell! Thus, Puhus the pious critic went underground. In reality, he had to go underground to nurse his wounded ego and make those stupid so-called journalists forget about him. But shhh . . . he must not hear this said. For our pious critic has a mighty weighty ego.

But now, like a sleeping giant awakened, Puhus the gallant critic rose up like a mountain and suddenly materialized in our village assembly in all his wonderful majesty. His eyes still looked red and his head seemed to have grown bigger. His pious cheeks, which were given to gaining unnnecessary weight, heavily sagged on the sides of his face like small sacks of skin. But his brain was up and running, fully replenished from the latest in postmodern thought and postmodernspeak. He caught some of our common townsfolk unawares. As usual, the puny little things were engaged in their nefarious activity of speaking ill of the great Dr. Yahakat Comganarr Medical of magic portions fame. And did Puhus the critic release his mighty bombshells on those miserable creatures!! Did he raise high up above the world all of the great qualities of the great leader to show just how wise and lucky Dr. Yahakat was!! As part of his new strategy, Puhus wanted everyone to hear it from the very horse's mouth. So he stood gallantly by and grabbed any word or syllable that fell from his boss' hallowed mouth and brandished it like a great shaft of light before the ignorant eyes of our common townsfolk. Dr. Yahakat Conganarr Medical told no lies, made no mistakes, was always right, was a blessed master of the unknown world of the ancestral spirits, was more generous than generousity itself, could never be wrong, will live forever, must always be lord and master of us all, knows everything about life and death and all the worlds in between - real and imagined, hidden and visible and even nonexistent!! How dared anyone ascribe the common frailties of the human race to such a legendary hero as the mighty Alhajj Dr. Yahakat D.D.D. Comganarr of Anyhow fame? Phew!! Tuff!! Whoever saw the like!! Puhus the critic was truly remarkable in his newfound zeal and was determined never to break again nor show any signs of weakness or fatigue. It is on to victory and greater glory for the great Dr. Yahakat Comganarr Medical!! It is death and damnation to whoever dared disagree with the pious doctor and the greatest leader the world has ever seen!!

Say anything contrary to the views and actions of Dr. Comganarr and Puhus the critic will stop you short and tell you "Nay, you guys are lost, never to be found. Dr. Comganarr is never wrong and will never lose." Puhus was particularly eloquent when mention is made of any group that was in opposition to Dr. Yahakat Comganarr. Hearing talk of any such stupid possibility, Puhus the critic would wax eloquent and pour out some platinum and gold analysis of just why such a so-called group will fail miserably and be sent sprawling to the earth to chew the dry dust. "Say what you may," he would proudly say, shaking his fat cheeks and blinking his eyes. "Say what you may, but my lord and master, the great Dr. Alhajj D.D.D. Yahakat Comganarr Medical, the mighty Lion of Paff, is invincible. Nay, he is even immortal, shall never die!!" And so our common townsfolk, forever amazed at the analytical skills of our gallant critic, whom they now called Puhus the All-in-One, parka fooki borr, master of the ancient art of wochu naan - our common townsfolk would all hail him Sir and hold their mouths and widely stare. Such was the great reputation of our pious Puhus, critic par excellence and griot historic of the mighty Dr. Alhajj Yahakat D.D.D. Comganarr Medical of Ratatoi fame.

 

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