Only in America...can a pizza get to your house 
  faster than an ambulance... 

  Only in America...are there handicap parking 
  places in front of a skating rink... 

  Only in America...do people order double cheese 
  burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke... 

  Only in America...do banks leave both doors open 
  and then chain the pens to the counters... 

  Only in America...do we leave cars worth 
  thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave 
  useless things and junk in boxes in the garage... 

  Only in America...do we use answering machines 
  to screen calls and then have call waiting so we 
  won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to 
  talk to in the first place... 

  Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages 
  of ten and buns in packages of eight...

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