For the attention of brother Yahya Camara/Members,
Al-salaamu alaykum wa rahmat-Allaahi wa barakaatuhu (Peace be upon you,
and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings).
Thanks to sister Jabou Joh and Brother Habib Ghanim for helping the brother
clarify certain things in his mind regarding our religion,it is this in mind
that I am sending the following questions and answers session on Plural
marriages in Islam.I will be sending a similar one on wills and
inheritance,which brother Habib and sister Jabou has touched on on earlier
postings.This is meant to add to our undertsanding.I hope you find it
useful.
Question:
I was really into becoming a Muslim. I want to find how to become Muslim, on
doing so I found out a lot about the religion I never knew before, and it's
kind of disturbing and almost a let down. I'm sorry I feel like that but
it's true. One of the things that bother me is the polygamy thing, I would
like to know where it addresses that in the Holy Qu'ran, please try to give
me tips on how to live like that and remain sane?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah concluded His Message to mankind with the religion of Islam, and He
tells us that He will not accept any religion other than that. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of
him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:85]
Your backing away from the religion of Islam is considered to be a loss for
you, and a loss of the happiness that awaited you, had you entered Islam.
You should hasten to enter Islam, and beware of delaying, for that delay may
lead to regrettable consequences.
With regard to what you mention about the reason for your backing off being
the idea of plural marriage [polygamy or polygyny], we will present to you
the ruling on plural marriage in Islam, and then the wisdom and noble
purposes behind it.
1 – The ruling on plural marriage in Islam:
The shar’i text which permits plural marriage is:
Allaah says in His Holy Book (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan
girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if
you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only
one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you
from doing injustice”
[al-Nisa’ 4:3]
This is a Qur’aanic text which shows that plural marriage is allowed.
According to Islamic sharee’ah, a man is permitted to marry one, two, three
or four wives, in the sense that he may have this number of wives at one
time. It is not permissible for him to have more than four. This was stated
by the mufassireen (commentators on the Qur’aan) and fuqaha’ (jurists), and
there is consensus among the Muslims on this point, with no differing
opinions.
It should be noted that there are conditions attached to plural marriage:
1 – Justice or fairness.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then
only one”
[al-Nisa’ 4:3]
This aayah is indicates that just treatment is a condition for plural
marriage to be permitted. If a man is afraid that he will not be able to
treat his wives justly if he marries more than one, then it is forbidden for
him to marry more than one. What is meant by the justice that is required in
order for a man to be permitted to have more than one wife is that he should
treat his wives equally in terms of spending, clothing, spending the night
with them and other material things that are under his control.
With regard to justice or fairness in terms of love, he is not held
accountable for that, and that is not required of him because he has no
control over that. This is what is meant by the verse,
“You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is
your ardent desire”
[al-Nisa’ 4:129 – interpretation of the meaning].
2 – The ability to spend on one’s wives:
The evidence for this condition is the verse:
“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves
chaste, until Allaah enriches them of His Bounty”
[al-Noor 24:33 – interpretation of the meaning]
In this verse Allaah commands those who are able to get married but cannot
find the financial means, to remain chaste. One such example is not having
enough money to pay the mahr (dowry) and not being able to spend on one’s
wife. (al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, part 6, p. 286).
2 – The wisdom behind permitting plural marriage
1 – Plural marriage helps to increase the numbers of the ummah (nation,
Muslim community). It is known that the numbers can only be increased
through marriage, and the number of offspring gained through plural marriage
will be greater than that achieved through marriage to one wife.
Wise people know that increasing the number of offspring will strengthen the
ummah and increase the number of workers in it, which will raise its
economic standard – if the leaders run the affairs of state well and make
use of its resources in a proper manner. Ignore the claims of those who say
that increasing the numbers of human beings poses a danger to the earth’s
resources which are insufficient, for Allaah the Most Wise Who has
prescribed plural marriage has guaranteed to provide provision for His
slaves and has created on earth what is more than sufficient for them.
Whatever shortfall exists is due to the injustice of administrations,
governments and individuals, and due to bad management. Look at China, for
example, the greatest nation on earth as far as number of inhabitants is
concerned, and it is regarded as one of the strongest nations in the world,
and other nations would think twice before upsetting China; it is also one
of the great industrialized nations. Who would dare think of attacking
China, I wonder? And why?
2 – Statistics show that the number of women is greater than the number of
men; if each man were to marry just one woman, this would mean that some
women would be left without a husband, which would have a harmful effect on
her and on society:
The harmful effect is that she would never find a husband to take care of
her interests, to give her a place to live, to spend on her, to protect her
from haraam desires, and to give her children to bring her joy. This may
lead to deviance and going astray, except for those on whom Allaah has
mercy.
With regard to the harmful effects on society, it is well known that this
woman who is left without a husband may deviate from the straight path and
follow the ways of promiscuity, so she may fall into the swamp of adultery
and prostitution – may Allaah keep us safe and sound – which leads to the
spread of immorality and the emergence of fatal diseases such as AIDS and
other contagious diseases for which there is no cure. It also leads to
family breakdown and the birth of children whose identity is unknown, and
who do not know who their fathers are.
Those children do not find anyone to show compassion towards them or any
mature man to raise them properly. When they go out into the world and find
out the truth, that they are illegitimate, that is reflected in their
behaviour, and they become exposed to deviance and going astray. They may
even bear grudges against society, and who knows? They may become the means
of their country’s destruction, leaders of deviant gangs, as is the case in
many nations in the world.
3 – Men are exposed to incidents that may end their lives, for they work in
dangerous professions. They are the soldiers who fight in battle, and more
men may die than women. This is one of the things that raise the percentage
of husbandless women, and the only solution to this problem is plural
marriage.
4 – There are some men who may have strong physical desires, for whom one
wife is not enough. If the door is closed to such a man and he is told, you
are not allowed more than one wife, this will cause great hardship to him,
and his desire may find outlets in forbidden ways.
In addition to that, a woman menstruates each month, and when she gives
birth, she bleeds for forty days (this post-partum bleeding is called nifaas
in Arabic), at which time a man cannot have intercourse with his wife,
because intercourse at the time of menstruation or nifaas is forbidden, and
the harm that it causes has been proven medically. So plural marriage is
permitted when one is able to be fair and just.
5 – Plural marriage does not exist only in the Islamic religion, rather it
was known among the previous nations. Some of the Prophets were married to
more than one woman. The Prophet of Allaah Sulaymaan (Solomon) had ninety
wives. At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him), there were some men who became Muslims who had eight or five wives.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told them to keep
four wives and to divorce the rest.
6 – A wife may be barren, or she may not meet her husband’s needs, or he may
be unable to have intercourse with her because she is sick. A husband may
long to have children, which is a legitimate desire, and he may want to have
a sex life within marriage, which is something permissible, and the only way
is to marry another wife. It is only fair for the wife to agree to remain
his wife and to allow him to marry another.
7 – A woman may be one of the man’s relatives and have no one to look after
her, and she is unmarried or a widow whose husband has died, and the man may
think that the best thing to do for her is to include her in his household
as a wife along with his first wife, so that he will both keep her chaste
and spend on her. This is better for her than leaving her alone and being
content only to spend on her.
8 – There are other shar’i interests that call for plural marriages, such as
strengthening the bonds between families, or strengthening the bonds between
a leader and some of his people or group, and he may think that one of the
ways of achieving this aim is to become related to them through marriage,
even if that is through plural marriage.
Objection:
Some people may object and say that plural marriage means having co-wives in
one house, and that the disputes and enmity that may arise between co-wives
will have an effect on the husband, children and others, and this is harmful
and should be avoided, and the only way to prevent that is to ban plural
marriage.
Response to the objection:
The response to that is that family arguments may occur even when there is
only one wife, and they may not even happen when there is more than one
wife, as we see in real life. Even if we assume that there may be more
arguments than in a marriage to one wife, even if we accept that they may be
harmful and bad, the harm is outweighed by the many good things in a plural
marriage. Life is not entirely bad or entirely good, but what everyone hopes
is that the good will outweigh the bad, and this principle is what applies
in the permission for plural marriage.
Moreover, each wife has the right to her own, separate accommodation as
prescribed in Islam. It is not permissible for the husband to force his
wives to live together in one house.
Another objection:
If we allow men to have plural wives, why are women not allowed to have
multiple husbands, why does a woman not have the right to marry more than
one man?
Response to this objection:
There is no point in giving a woman the right to marry multiple husbands,
rather that is beneath her dignity and she would not know the lineage of her
children, because she is the one who bears the offspring, and it is not
permissible for the offspring to be formed from the sperm of a number of men
lest the lineage of the child be lost and no one will know who is
responsible for bringing up the child; this will lead to breakdown of
families, loss of ties between fathers and children, which is not permitted
in Islam as it is not in the interests of the woman or of the child or of
society as a whole.
Al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, part 6, p. 290
Title: The first wife’s approval is not a condition for marrying a second
wife
Question:
My question is if you would help me to know the Hadith or the point of vieuw
from the Islamic law on the follwing situation.
If a woman is married to a man and that this man is also married to an other
woman without her, the last, knows about this marriage.
No need to say that this is a difficult and very exceptional situation but
seems the best concerning the circumstances?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The wife’s approval is not a condition for plural marriage, and it is not
obligatory for the husband to have the approval of his first wife if he
wants to marry a second wife. But it is good manners and kind treatment to
approach the issue in such a way as to reduce the pain which women naturally
feel in such cases, by smiling at her, greeting her warmly, speaking nicely
to her and spending money on her according to his means, in order to gain
her approval. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/204.
If a husband takes a second wife, he has to treat his wives equally as far
as possible. If he does not treat them equally then he is exposing himself
to a stern warning, for it was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives and
inclines more towards one of them than the other, will come on the Day of
Resurrection with half of his body leaning.” (narrated by al-Nisaa’i,
‘Ushrat al-Nisaa’, 3881; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan
al-Nasaa’i, no. 3682).
When Allaah permitted us to marry more than one woman, He said
(interpretation of the meaning):
“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then
only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to
prevent you from doing injustice”[al-Nisaa’ 4:3]
So Allaah commands that a man should restrict himself to one wife, if he
knows that he cannot be just. And Allaah is the source of strength.
See Fataawa Manaar al-Islam, 2/570.
Title: There is no hadeeth which says that a wife’s permission is required
before taking another wife
Is there a hadith that relates to a husband needing the permission of
present wife to marry 2nd wife?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
There is no hadeeth which states that, and it is not conditional for the
husband to have his wife’s permission to take another wife. But it is in
everyone’s interests for him to try to get her consent, because this will
help to reduce problems in the marriage.
Question:
on what conditions is it allowed for a muslim to marry more than one wife?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Marrying more than one wife is a matter which is recommended, subject to
certain conditions: that the man be financially and physically able for it,
and that he be able to treat his wives justly.
Plural marriage brings a lot of benefits, including protecting the chastity
of the women whom he marries, bringing people closer together, and producing
a lot of children. This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) referred to when he said: “Marry the one who is loving and
fertile”. And it serves a lot of other purposes. But for a man to marry more
than one wife by way of boasting and taking that as a challenge to prove
himself, this is a form of extravagance and extravagance is forbidden.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and waste not by extravagance. Verily, He likes not al-musrifoon (those who
waste by extravagance)”[al-An’aam 6:141]
Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, from Kitaab Fataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 3, p.
205.
Question:
Is it halal to have a second wife who says she does not need financial
support. If so, what if the first wife does not allow the marriage..can a
man still get married again?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Maintenance is one of the rights of the wife which is an obligation upon her
husband. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made
one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them)
from their means.”
[al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
If the woman foregoes this right, to which she is entitled – which is her
maintenance– then it is no longer obligatory upon her husband.
Ibn Qudaamah said: If she agrees to forego some part of her share (of her
husband’s time) or her maintenance, or all of that, this is permissible.
(al-Mughni, vol. 7, p. 244).
With regard to the permission and approval of the first wife for a plural
marriage, this is not a condition and the husband does not have to seek the
permission of his first wife to marry a second. But it is prescribed for him
to be kind to her and to spend money and to say kind words so as to calm her
down and reduce her jealousy. The Standing Committee was asked about the
first wife’s approval for one who wants to marry another wife. Their
response was:
It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second wife, to
have the approval of the first wife, but it is the matter of good manners
and kind treatment that he should speak to her kindly in such a way as to
reduce the feelings of hurt which are natural in women in such cases. That
is by smiling at her, showing that he is happy to see her, being kind,
speaking nicely and by spending money on her if necessary.
See Fataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 3, p. 204
Question:
Does a man have to treat his co-wives equally in terms of gift-giving and
intimacy?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Ibn Qudaamah said:
He does not have to treat his co-wives equally in terms of spending and
clothing, so long as he does what he is obliged to do with regard to each of
them.
Ahmad said concerning a man who had two wives: he has the right to favour
one of them in terms of spending, intimacy and clothing, so long as the
other has enough. He may buy for one of them clothing of a higher quality
than for the other, so long as the other has enough. This is because
treating them equally in all these matters is too difficult, and if it were
obligatory then he would only be able to do it with great difficulty. So he
does not have to do it, as is the case in treating them all equally with
regard to intimacy.
Is it permissible for a person who cannot adjust with his current wife to
marry a second wife? He does not want to leave his first wife.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
It is OK for you to marry a second wife, and in fact this could be the
solution to your problem, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"… then marry women of your choice, two or three, or four…" [al-Nisaa’ 4:3]
- as long as you are going to treat them equally with regard to where you
spend your nights and how much you spend on them. So if you spend one night
with one, and the next night with the other, and spend on them equally,
there is nothing wrong at all with marrying a second wife.
And Allaah knows best.
Question:
Polygamy...I understand what Allah (swt)has said regarding this subject in
as much as the economic and importance of the family structure however where
in the Quaran does it address the distressed feelings of a woman when her
husband decides to take another wife, and how these two should live in
harmony under one roof?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The first wife’s distress when her husband marries another wife is to be
expected, and Allaah has set out rules and regulations to reduce these
feelings or remove them altogether, by enjoining justice, patience in the
face of adversity, and so on. Whatever the case, the fact that these
feelings of distress and the dislike of polygamy exist does not justify
condemnation of polygamy. Islam came to serve and increase people’s best
interests, and to reduce harmful things and render them ineffective. There
is no doubt that polygamy, when practised properly in accordance with Islam,
achieves many things that are in people’s best interests (such as
maintaining the chastity of the man who is not satisfied with one wife,
taking care of and maintaining the chastity of the woman who has no husband,
increasing the offspring of the Muslims, solving the problem of widows and
spinsters, and of the reduced numbers of men after times of war, and so on).
As regards the bad things that happen in cases of polygamy, either they are
very small when compared to its benefits, or they stem from bad application
of this practice. One of the rights which Islam gives to women is that a
wife should have her own house, so the two wives do not have to live
together under one roof. And Allaah knows best.
Courtesy of Shaikh Munnajji of Questions and Answers.
With the very best of good wishes,
Musa Amadu Pembo
Glasgow,
Scotland
UK.
[log in to unmask]
Da’wah is to convey the message with wisdom and with good words. We should
give the noble and positive message of Islam. We should try to emphasize
more commonalities and explain the difference without getting into
theological arguments and without claiming the superiority of one position
over the other. There is a great interest among the people to know about
Islam and we should do our best to give the right message.
May Allah,Subhana Wa Ta'Ala,guide us all to His Sirat Al-Mustaqim (Righteous
Path).May He protect us from the evils of this life and the hereafter.May
Allah,Subhana Wa Ta'Ala,grant us entrance to paradise .
We ask Allaah the Most High, the All-Powerful, to teach us that which will
benefit us, and to benefit us by that which we learn. May Allaah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala grant blessings and peace to our Prophet Muhammad and his family
and
companions..Amen.
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