GUARDIAN
Friday, February 11, 2000
Football as war
By Reuben Abati
"LOOKS like football has become war."
"It's always been. It is the pride of nations that is at stake. The ego of
a country mixed with the ego of its individual citizens in an elongated
moment of passion can be really dangerous."
"Can you imagine the Senegalese sacking the Nigerian Embassy in Dakar, and
attacking Nigerians just because the Super Eagles did what comes to them
naturally. I mean, they trounced the Senegalese 2-1. Now, why would Senegal
of all countries ever think that its team could beat Nigeria? In football?"
"You are funny. In football, there are no big and small nations. A country
is a country on the field of play. It is a question of 22 men chasing a
round, leather ball, and getting that ball into the opponent's net as
frequently as possible."
"To tell the truth, those boys from Senegal really frightened me."
"Smaller and poorer nations are always like that. They like to humiliate
big nations."
"You know they envy us. All these other African countries don't like
Nigeria at all. They think that our existence poses a threat to them."
"And yet when they are in trouble, they always look up to Nigeria to help
them out. Look at South Africa. We helped the ANC in its struggle against
apartheid. We gave them cash. We offered their students scholarships. I
still recall that there were many South African students in our university
in those days. They used to get drunk all the time. And now, look at what
South Africans are doing to us? Look at Liberia. We helped Liberians to keep
their country alive. The same with Sierra Leone. But you go to Freetown and
announce that you are a Nigerian..."
"I think it is natural for poor people to resent their benefactors. As it
is with people, so it is with nations. Don't ever trust an underdog."
"People make up nations."
"Although oftentimes, I think it is our government that is largely
responsible for the way we are treated. When other Africans hear all those
sordid stories about Nigeria, they are bound to hate us."
"You know I once tried to chase a girl from Gambia. The moment I mentioned
my nationality, she just became cold."
"That's strange."
"She said she had heard that Nigerian men are bulldozers."
"Bulldozers. What does that mean?"
"Well, take a look at me. Do I look like a bulldozer?"
"I think part of the problem is our population. We are just too many. We
occupy too much space. In football alone, we have all the leading stars in
Africa."
"Yet, the boys from Senegal thought they could beat us. Their hooligans at
home attacked our people."
"The Nigerian government should send a strongly-worded protest to the
government of Senegal."
"What has government got to do with it?"
"People make up government. That was why the police in Senegal refused to
come to the rescue of the Nigerians until their compatriots had caused
damage."
"Maybe they felt provoked. You know Nigerian fans also trooped onto the
field in Lagos."
"But we didn't touch anybody. Nigerian fans did not attack the Senegalese
players. In any case, what does it matter. We bulldozed the Senegalese. And
we have since moved ahead. They shouldn't think that because Nigerians wear
Senegalese babanriga, then we are willing to joke with football. No. Never."
"I guess the attack was a psychological one. The Senegalese are very proud
people. Their country is the home of Cheik Anta Diop and Leopold Sedar
Senghor. Every Senegalese thinks he is a philosopher of sorts."
"But football is not philosophy."
"The Senegalese don't understand that."
"At this rate, I am afraid we now have to play Cameroun. Can you imagine
what will happen when we meet Cameroun on Sunday?"
"We would probably have no option but to go to war, or do something close
to that."
"That won't be new. Honduras and El-Salvador once fought a football war."
"I think if we can help it, we should avoid playing football with these
sub-Saharan Africans. They are too far behind."
"That is racist talk. If you don't play with Africans, who else do you
want to play with."
"Look at the South Africans."
"Yes."
"They came to the football pitch to play politics, not football."
"South Africans hate us. I am convinced."
"They think they are a better nation. They don't have NEPA problems. They
don't have a Joseph Kennedy Waku. Their roads are good. Their phones work.
So, they assume they should beat Nigeria in football."
"Well, now, they know. That football is not telephone. It is not
electricity. It is talent. And we just happen to be more talented than the
South Africans."
"Do you think South Africans will attack Nigerians living in South
Africa?"
"If they do that, what does it matter? The Super Eagles have helped us to
do what our government cannot do. They have told those ambitious South
Africans who the leader is in Africa. It is Nigeria, not South Africa."
"In less than one minute, they made the point clearly, and tucked in a
fine goal. Then, a second goal."
"The South Africans did not know what hit them."
"Their loud boasts died in their throats."
"If we meet them again, any time, anywhere, we will beat them silly. They
call themselves Bafana, Bafana. That is a good name. They are boys. We are
men. Yesterday, the point was well made."
"But that's Mandela's country, you know."
"Well, Mr. Mandela should help us tell his children that Nigeria is the
giant of Africa. Simple."
"Simple. I agree."
"The Eagles are wonderful."
"I agree. They are Super."
"With one exception, though."
"Who is that?"
"Emmanuel Amuneke."
"What about him."
"He played nonsense during the match with Senegal. He was handicapped."
"You miss the point. The problem was not with his hands. His left leg was
the problem."
"Okay. He is leg-capped then. I mean, he is finished."
"So what do you think will happen?"
"Cameroun."
"What about Cameroun?"
"Bakassi."
"That is out of the question, the Eagles are winning the Cup. On Sunday,
the Bakassi issue will be settled on the football pitch"
"Really?"
"Really."
"I am afraid".
"Don't be afraid. The Eagles will give Cameroun, the South African
treatment. They know this is no longer football. It is war!"
If the boys can do that for us, I can well imagine all the girls in Edo
State besieging the Sheraton Hotel to thank each one of them for their
patriotism."
"You are a stupid man. Why are you bringing Edo girls into the matter."
"I thought they would love to say hello to their kinsman, Julius
Aghahowa."
"That is not what you mean. You are a dirty-minded fellow."
"Okay, I am dirty-minded. Blame the Super Eagles. I am so happy, I feel
like embracing anybody in sight."
"Okay, embrace me, then."
"Get lost. I am not looking for your type."
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