"Fuck you and your little fucking grade book, " is all I could think while I
looked down at the slip of paper with my name and an "F" on it. I'm
miserable, feeling hopeless, helpless. The first emotions that come to me
are anger, vengeance. After a few minutes of stewing, the anger subsides and
the sorrow kicks in.

Yes, here I am again, "F" on the paper. The magic paper that is going to add
up with the other papers I have been handed back with A's B's C's and D's on
them. Last week I thought I was doing so well, I was happy. Now I am feeling
empty, alone, helpless. "I should just drop out and get a job," echoes in my
mind as I stare at the "F" and remember all the times I had been in this
same situation. "What about my father? He'll be crushed if I don't graduate
from college," I ponder other solutions. This is where the last minute
bravery kicks in, where I tell myself, "I'll show them, I'm gonna get
straight A's from here on out." Then I suddenly remember how many times in
the past I've told myself that.

It's back to the depression again, the teacher lectures on and I wonder how
you ended up in such a fucked up situation. I look at him and wonder, "who
gave this asshole the authority to judge me?" I feel a tinge of that anger
coming back.

I'm looking at the grade on the paper again, pondering it's true meaning.
This "F" says to me, "you did nothing, you are nothing, you have failed." I
have failed? How? Just because I didn't produce what that pompous ,over
zealous, asshole wanted, I have failed? I don't think so. I think some
teacher that I pay the salary for just told me that my work isn't worth
shit. Why did I even bother doing anything at all?

Class is wrapping up and I am cool, calm, and collected. I get up from my
seat and walk towards him. He's done with class, happy as a lark. I take out
my paper and hold it in my hand. He slowly turns around and I say to him,
"Why?" He asks me "Why what?" I shake the paper in front of his face. He
says "Oh that!" I think to myself, "Yes, this you asshole, how can you just
give someone an "F" and forget about it so quickly." The anger is back. He
begins to tell me how "my group gave no indication that I did any work, plus
my lecture did not show him that I had read the material and that my notes
on other works of the particular author were of no relevance to the class."
"You were supposed to talk about the style of the story" he says, "but I
spoke on the style of the author as a whole, did hours of research and I
deserve and F?" I am trying to control myself, but it is getting harder as
he makes claims that I had not even read the five page story in the book and
that I was lecturing from "another story I had ad in another class." Fuck
him, I had never even heard of this shitty author before I was forced to do
this assignment. I try to reason with him, "perhaps I misunderstood you when
you said we were supposed to teach the class about the author", he snidely
replies "yes, you were, but with the story that is in our book."

He then begins packing up all of his papers into his briefcase and prepares
to leave the classroom. Where the fuck is he going? I'm not done talking to
him! He walks out and I follow behind him still stating my case "I did do
research on the author and that counts for nothing?" He maintains his point
about me not "conveying that I had read the story." So I get an "F", a
"zero" for the assignment because he feels that I did not read the story. I
reassure him that I did read the story, as well as other stories by the same
author. He simply repeats what he had said before and picks up his pace as
we are walking towards his office. I try again to reason with him, "but what
you are telling me with this grade is that I did nothing, that I should not
have even shown up?" He turns to me and says , "Look, I am just going to say
what I have said before so I am not going to say it." Well, isn't that
considerate of him. He turns and goes into his office, I don't follow.

Again, I wonder why I let this happen, why don't I just say "look, fuck you,
I don't give a shit what you think, I did the reading and you are wrong for
giving me an 'F'?" It's probably because I have my final coming up and I
fear that he will give me an "F" on that too. Why am I forced to live out my
educational career in fear and powerlessness? Do I not pay for this shit?
Are they paying me to attend? At least in high school I wasn't paying twenty
thousand dollars a year to take shit from egomaniacs that couldn't get a
real job if their life depended on it so they went into teaching. I think
I'll just quit school and take one of the job offers I've received, why do I
need this frustration? And people ask me why I am going grey at 23.

       Submitted by One Of My Students(Am going to kill him!!lol!)

                                                      Prof Assan.















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