I had an interesting morning; I got into an argument with my Rice Krispies.
I distinctly heard, "Snap, Crackle, F*** you!" I'm not sure which one of
them said it; I was reaching for the artificial sweetener at the time and
not looking directly into the bowl. But I heard it and I said,"Well you
can all sit right there in the milk as far as I'm concerned until I find
out which one of you said it." Mass punishment. The idea is to turn them
against one another.
    Silly me.Big punishment! That's what Rice Krispies do. Sit in the milk.
That's their job. You've seen them. Delicate, beige blisters of air,
floating proudly in the milk. And you can't sink them. They refuse to sink.
The navy ought to use Rice Krispies in life preservers. That's where they
are really needed.
    And do you know how Rice Krispies manage to float for such a long
time? By clinging to one another; they buddy up. They gather in little
groups of eight, ten, or sometimes twelve, but if you've noticed, it's
always an even number. That's because the electromagnetic polarity of the
Krispies attracts them to one another. It binds them into pairs, like
subatomic particles. They form little colonies, and you can't sink them,
not even with a spoon. They just come bobbing up over the sides of the
spoon, laughing at you and reveling in their buoyancy. Hard to sink.
    That's what the fruit is for. Not for added taste; not for nutrition;
it's for sinking the Rice Krispies. Believe me, a good-sized peach, hurled
at the bowl full force from a stepladder, can take down eighty or ninety of
the little buggers in one glorious splash.
    And I have absolutely no mercy. If I'm really pissed, I'll climb up to
the upstairs balcony and drop a watermelon on them. That'll teach them a
lesson for sassing me at breakfast.

By Comedian [George Carlin]

Cheers!


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