ON FORGIVENESS
“ I am ready to forgive, but I need to know who I have to forgive. If
they would just speak up and acknowledge what they have done, they
would be giving us opportunity to forgive. It would be more noble if
they were to do that. There will be reconciliation only if there is
justice.”
Such are the words of a victim of brutality and oppression addressing
the Chilean National Commission on Truth and Reconciliation. In the
above statement, the speaker makes it clear that, for many like her,
forgiveness cannot be unilateral; rather, it depends upon a quality of
interaction between at least two parties and that forgiveness and
justice are not mutually exclusive, but are rather very closely
aligned. Forgiveness will transpire where there is actual dialogue
between the wrongdoer and the victim. Where the former is willing to
identify him or herself with the harmful actions and seeks forgiveness
for it. To identify oneself with harmful actions one has done, one must
be ready to confess and admit that he or she has committed the
offending actions. The wrongdoer must also take responsibility by
owning up to the actions with all consequences, without giving any
excuses. Most importantly, the offending party must express remorse for
what they have done. Many who have suffered wrongs might be willing to
forgive those who wronged them, if those responsible would admit their
wrongdoing, take responsibility for and show contrition. In the absence
of these, the wronged has every right to refuse to forgive, believing
that the essential preconditions for such an act have not been met. It
is very fair to ask a crucial question in Jammehs’ quest for
forgiveness and “moving on” from Gambians he has wronged, whether he is
willing and ready to confess, own up and repent the wrong he has done.
Forgiveness in any form, to be effective, will have to be built upon
the foundations of dialogue. Dialogue will provide opportunity for both
the offender and the offended to feel themselves and the other as equal
beings. It provides an opportunity or a forum for accountability,
without which justice is at risk. It is quite difficult to forgive a
wrong without understanding the wrongdoer. Understanding come about
when both reach out to others and look deep in themselves. If there is
no contact, then the prospects for genuine understanding are reduced.
Forgiveness does not always follow understanding, but a forgiveness
that is not based on understanding will be incomplete. Nonetheless,
unilateral forgiveness can occur in a process that is contained
entirely within one individual; it neither engages with nor is any way
dependent upon the position of the wrongdoer. Very common in every day
life in Gambia – “baye naako yallah…. di na ko giss.” We do so because
it places us in a position, which we feel is somehow superior to that
of the person who wronged us. One may argue that such is not actually
an act of forgiveness but rather subjugation to a higher authority for
deserving action upon the wrongdoer. That it is a function of our
cultural conditioning. Dialogue will allow for recognition of real
differences between real people. It will help to unite the principle of
ideal reciprocity with that of pragmatism, as it functions as a means
through which estranged parties can learn to co-exist peacefully.
Forgiveness negotiated through dialogue extends the principle of ideal
reciprocity into the realm of action, and concerns for justice remains
as its core. Thus standing on the principle of understanding. What
actions or any indication there is today to show that Jammeh is willing
to initiate the dialogue that will bring about the negotiated
forgiveness he is longing for. Time will tell.
If the act of forgiveness is to be the bridge between the hurt of the
past and the hope of the future, then there must be some indication
that the offending action will not reoccur. In the absence of such, the
future can hold little more promise than our kids and their kids living
with and striving to endure a perpetual re-enactment of former wounds.
Generally, Gambians do not forgive a wrongdoer because it is thought
that in so doing their behavior will change. While it is possible, that
such forgiveness will produce a transformation – instigating a moral
redemption of sorts – it could be a motivation in offering such.
Whether or not our unilateral forgiveness is likely to encourage Jammeh
and his command to repent, and thus produce positive future outcomes,
should be relevant to our consideration. Recent records of Jammehs
attempts at displaying remorse in search of forgiveness are all but
impressive – following the death of Ousman Korro Ceesay and the
massacre of innocent students -- simply deficient in all intended
outcomes. If forgiveness is to be possible, Jammeh and his command
must confess the acts they have committed, take responsibility for the
suffering they have caused, and repent. While it may be most desirable
for them to show repentance for their actions, to require that they do
so might be to encourage a display of disingenuous feeling. Is the one
who displays their repentance on demand the most contrite? Saying sorry
involves more than sentimentality. It involves more than tears. It is
never cheap. This inclines me to balk at Jammehs emotions during his
speech for forgiveness. It is important to say Mea culpa. It cannot,
however, be enacted into our constitution. Nor should it be assumed
that it would be accepted.
ON INDEMNITY
It is important that we remember governments and constitutions can
offer amnesty to perpetrators of criminal deeds, but they cannot offer
forgiveness. The words of the Chilean woman quoted in the opening of
this piece say it all “No government can forgive – they don’t know my
pain – only I can forgive, and I must know before I can forgive.” For
all victims of any form of atrocity committed by the A(F)PRC, knowledge
and acknowledgement are prerequisites of forgiveness. However, is
acknowledgement of wrongdoing, in the absence of remorse, sufficient
grounds for its forgiveness? Ntsiki Biko, widow of the murdered South
African activist Steve Biko, questions “ how can you forgive without
proper justice having been done?…justice must be done first” for many
victims like her, without justice there can be no forgiveness; it is
justice which makes it possible. There can be no justice if those who
cause and are still causing suffering are not made accountable for
their actions. No one should be forced to forgive another. In fact, no
one can be forced to forgive another. Forgiveness, if it is to come at
all, can take as long as the suffering lasts. Some actions may be
deemed unforgivable under any condition. Those who have been wronged
and made to suffer are entitled to withhold their forgiveness, and this
should not be seen as a sign of their lack of reasoning or conscience.
The words of the poet Zbigniew Herbert echo: “do not forgive, because
it is not within your power to forgive in the name of those who were
betrayed at dawn.” Justice presupposes that there is an existing body
of facts. Before justice can be enacted, these facts must first be
established. This in turn creates the conditions under which
understanding becomes possible. Only then, and sometimes not even then,
can forgiveness proceed.
When Archbishop Desmond Tutu was asked what the purpose of the South
African Reconciliation Commission is he said: “ to assist in the
healing of a traumatized, divided, wounded, polarized people.’ To
explain why forgiveness was not promoted in the commission’s agenda, he
said: “…there are some people who have tried to be very facile and say
let bygones be bygones: they want us to have a national amnesia. And
you have to keep saying to those people that to pretend that nothing
happened, to not acknowledge that something horrendous did happen to
them, is to victimize the victims yet again. But even more important,
experience worldwide shows that if you do not deal with a dark past
such as ours, effectively look the beast in the eye, that beast is not
going to lie down quietly…forgiveness and reconciliation are not cheap.”
Is Dr. Alhagi, Baron, Yahya A.J.J Jammeh worthy of my forgiveness? It’s
your call!
Abdoulie A. Jallow
(BambaLaye)
==============================================
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that
matter."
-Martin Luther King Jr.
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