Forbearance When Angered.
People often get angry because someone says a word that is
out of place, or something that detracts from their honesty
or integrity. When someone is keen to be fair to people and
he is accused of being unjust, he takes the accusation to
heart. If he is honest but an accusation is leveled at him
that implies dishonesty on his part, he is exceedingly
hurt. When there is nothing in his conduct to provide
justification of any kind for the accusation, he feels
terribly aggrieved. In any such situation, the person’s
reaction is interesting to monitor, particularly if he
occupies a position of leadership.

It is important, therefore, to gauge the reactions of the
Prophet (peace be upon him) to such incidents, because to
all Muslims, he provides the example to follow. God says in
the Qur’an: “You have in the Prophet a good example to
follow, for those of you who hope to earn God’s pleasure
and to be successful on the Day of Judgment.” (33: 21) In
previous weeks we gave a couple of examples of how the
Prophet conducted himself in a manner that wins people’s
hearts when he was roughly treated. We will provide some
more examples, hoping to show that such forbearance was his
normal behaviour, which came to him naturally, without
affectation of any sort.

Abdullah ibn Masoud reports: “God’s Messenger divided some
property between people. A man commented: ‘This division
has not been meant to please God!’ I reported this to the
Prophet and his face changed color. He then said: ‘May God
have mercy on Musa(Moses). He was hurt far worse but he
remained steadfast.’” (Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad
and Al-Baghawi).

The fact that a change of color was visibly apparent in the
Prophet’s face suggests that he was really hurt by the
unjustified remark. Had it been said of a ruler and he came
to know of it, he would have taken measures that would give
vent to his anger.

That would bring the person concerned into trouble. It
would have also ensured that no one would be able to ever
utter something of this sort. After all, it is a personal
attack that questions intentions. For this to be said of
God’s Messenger is greatly offensive, to say the least.

What did the Prophet say or do to stop such remarks?
Nothing more than to recall the attitude of an earlier
prophet in similar situations: “May God have mercy on
Musa(Moses). He was hurt far worse but he remained
steadfast.” Thus, the Prophet sets the example for us to
follow: When any of us is hurt by an unfair and unjustified
remark that questions his motives and integrity, the best
thing to do is to forbear and leave it to God to ensure
that justice is done.

Yet the Prophet was only a human being who is affected by
everything that normally affects ordinary human beings. It
is true that God has given him the ability to rise above
ordinary human concerns so as to give the best example to
follow in all situations, but this does not mean that his
feelings are not as keen as any other person. In fact, he
was very sensitive, which means that what hurts other
people would hurt him even more. Yet God always guided him
to the best attitude. During the Battle of Uhud, in which
the Muslims suffered defeat, the Prophet was injured, with
his front teeth being broken. He also suffered other
injuries. “As he wiped the blood off his face, he said:
‘How could any people be successful when they have stained
their Prophet’s face with blood as he called on them to
believe in their Lord?’ God revealed the verse that says:
‘You have no say in the matter.’” (Related by Al-Bukhari,
Muslim, Ahmad and Ibn Majah)

Here we see the Prophet showing a very natural reaction to
his injuries. Such people who are prepared to attack their
prophet physically and inflict injuries on him, aiming to
kill him as some of them were determined to do: how can
they be successful? Natural as this feeling is, God sets
all values right. It is not up to the Prophet or anyone
else to decide. Should these people subsequently believe
and mend their ways, they will have all the benefits that
faith brings. This was what happened later. The people of
Makkah, who were the enemy in that particular battle,
subsequently changed their attitude and believed in Islam.
They were among its most committed advocates. And they were
very successful indeed.

Therefore, the Prophet kept this in mind. When he later
suffered some misfortune, he took it lightly, putting
matters in the proper perspective. Jundub, a companion of
the Prophet, reports: “As the Prophet was walking one day,
he hit a stone and tripped. His toe was bleeding. He looked
at it and said: ‘You are but a bleeding toe, and what you
have suffered is merely to serve God’s cause.’” (Related by
Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad and Al-Baghawi)

As we have seen, the Prophet would not reply to any
personal remark that accused him of any wrong. He was not
given to retaliation, not even when he was truly hurt. Abu
Saeed Al-Khudri reports: “We were attending God’s Messenger
as he was dividing some booty. A man said to him:
‘Messenger of God! Be fair.’ The Prophet said to him: ‘Why!
Who will be fair if I am not? A true loser I am if I would
not be fair.’ Umar said: ‘Messenger of God! May I have your
permission to strike his head off?’ The Prophet said to
him: ‘Leave him alone. He has companions whose prayer and
fasting are so good that any of you will be dissatisfied
with his own prayer and fasting when comparing them to
theirs. They read the Qur’an, but it will not go beyond
their collar bones. Yet they will slip away from the faith
like an arrow passes through game. Their distinctive mark
is a black man among them whose upper arm looks like a
woman’s breast, or like a shaking piece of flesh. They will
rebel at a time when the community will be divided.” Abu
Saeed says: “I have certainly heard this Hadith as the
Prophet said it, and I bear witness that Ali ibn Abi Talib
fought them, and I fought with him. After the battle, he
ordered a search for the man and he was brought to him. I
saw him exactly as the Prophet described.” (Related by
Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood, Ahmad and Ibn Majah)

In this Hadith, the Prophet felt angry as a man criticized
his distribution as unfair. But he did not retaliate. He
only told the man that he, i.e. the Prophet, would have
lost everything if he did not divide the booty in all
fairness.

When Umar sought permission to kill the man in punishment
for what he said, the Prophet told him to leave him alone.
He then changed the whole drift of the conversation to
spare the man further blame or embarrassment.

He alerted his companions to some future events. His
description of the rebels applied most certainly to the
Khawarij who rebelled against Ali, the fourth Caliph, at a
time when there was already much tension and division among
Muslims with Mu’wiyah and Ali fighting the Battle of
Siffeen.

Contact With a Dead Person.

Q. A man is suffering a sense of great loss after his
wife’s death. Someone has told him that he knows a way that
would enable him to talk face to face with his deceased
wife. I have been trying to persuade him that this is wrong
and unacceptable. But his sense of loss is such that he
would do anything to be in contact again with his deceased
wife. Please comment.

A. What we have to understand is that death is only a stage
in a person’s life, leading to the life hereafter. It
occurs when the spirit departs from the body holding it. It
is the union of the body and spirit that gives us our
present existence, subject always to God’s will. When the
spirit departs from the body, this causes death.

The body is buried, while the spirit goes to its Lord. How,
where and by what means? We know nothing of this. No one
does. We only know what is stated in the Qur’an, and what
is mentioned in authentic Hadiths. Anyone who claims
otherwise is a liar. In the Qur’an God says: “They ask you
about the spirit. Say: ‘Knowledge of the spirit belongs to
my Lord. You have been given but scanty knowledge.’” (17:
85)

This settles the matter completely. This person who claims
ability to contact the dead is actually saying that he has
been given certain knowledge which can only be imparted by
God. Since knowledge of the spirit belongs only to God, the
only way to learn it is through revelation or inspiration.
So this person is claiming to receive that from God. Such a
claim is akin to claiming prophethood. We know that Prophet
Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the last prophet God will
ever send to mankind. To suggest that a later person
receives such knowledge goes against the express statements
of the Qur’an. It is well known that no revelation is
vouchsafed to any human being after Prophet Muhammad (peace
be upon him).

Even though the person concerned does not claim
prophethood, he still claims to have contact with a realm
that is known to God alone. How does he do that? It is only
through lying and exploiting other people’s sorrow. My
advice to the man who is so sad at his wife’s death is to
try to improve her status by offering the pilgrimage or the
Umrah on her behalf, giving money to charity and reading
the Qur’an and praying God to credit her with the reward of
such actions. In this way, he feels that he is contacting
her through God Himself. His sorrow will ease as he begins
to feel that she is with God, and that her position is, God
willing, better than the one she departed from in this
life.

Punishment for Past Sins

Q. May I put to you the case of a man who after marriage
discovers that his wife had been in a sinful sexual
relation prior to their marriage. Should he divorce her, or
bring the case to court for punishment, or forgive her and
remain married to her?

A. The second option of bringing the case to court should
not be considered at all. To start with, Islam does not
like punishments to be enforced. They are there as a
deterrent, to prevent people from committing serious sinful
actions. Islam prefers that when a person commits a sin,
serious as it may be, that person should repent, resolve
not to repeat the sin and seek God’s forgiveness. If he or
she is sincere in repentance and resolve, then God will, if
He so pleases, forgive them. Besides, if the man brings the
case to court, he must produce four witnesses to testify to
having seen the sin being committed, or his wife must stand
in court and admit her guilt.

Thus, it is not up to him to decide on this option. If she
trusts to God’s forgiveness after her repentance, he cannot
compel her to do otherwise.

The question is thus reduced to whether he should divorce
her or continue their marriage. This is a personal choice
that he should make on the basis of what he knows of his
wife. If he feels that she is sincere in her repentance and
that she will be faithful, and that he can overlook her
past, then it is better to keep her. If he does not trust
that this will be the case, then he should consider
divorce.

Graves and Mosques

Q. In Islam, it is forbidden to have graves in mosques.
Please comment on the status of the Prophet’s mosque where
he is buried.

A. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was not buried in his
mosque. He was buried in the place where he died, as
happened with earlier prophets. After his death, his
companions were discussing where to bury him, and Abu Bakr
told them that he heard the Prophet saying: “Wherever a
prophet died he was buried.” Therefore, his grave was dug
at the spot where he died, in his wife’s, Aishah’s room.
His home was adjacent to the mosque, not inside it. Thus,
there is no question as to the legitimacy of what was done.
It was perfectly appropriate, and according to the
Prophet’s own instructions.

The Prophet’s mosque has been enlarged time after time. Its
enlargement has been mostly to the side of his homes.
Moreover, his grave is enclosed in the building where it
has been. Nobody sees it, and there is a wall between it
and the worshippers, wherever they happen to be. As such,
there is no problem with this. It is perfectly appropriate.

How to Offer Witr Prayer
Q. I have noticed that the follower of the Hanafi school of
Fiqh offer the Witr prayer in three rak’ahs in the same
fashion as Maghrib. This is different from the practice in
Southeast Asian countries, where the Witr is offered in two
portions, the first with two rak’ahs and the second with
only one. May I ask which form is the correct one? How did
the Prophet offer Witr prayer?

A. The Prophet (peace be upon him) did both at different
times. Hence, it is perfectly acceptable to offer the Witr
prayer in either method. The question of similarity with
Maghrib prayer is of little importance, because if you
offer it in two portions, the first will be like Fajr
prayer. And what is wrong with that? What we need to
realize is that the Prophet did many things, particularly
in worship, in different ways at different times, so as to
indicate that such differences are acceptable.

Thus, he made things easier for us. Had he indicated only
one way which must be followed in all situations, that
could be difficult at times. Thus, in order to ensure the
simplicity and ease for everyone, he varied his methods.
Moreover, he indicated that we should pray like he did.
Therefore, if we use all the different methods he used, we
will be within our rights, following his instructions.

When we speak about differences among schools of Fiqh, or
Madhhabs, we note that each school took up the method which
was confirmed as the most practised one by the Prophet.
This they learned from the Prophet’s companions who
reported what was being done in the Prophet’s mosque.

Increased Wealth, Increased Problems.
Q. A married couple have experienced a marked improvement
in their fortunes, earning much more than they used to.
However, this led them to do things that they would not
have done otherwise. They are fully aware that these
practices are not permissible in Islam. But it also led to
much friction between them, with either of them resorting
to extreme measures, such as the wife preventing her
husband from entry into their home when he was drunk.
Please comment.

A. The couple need to have a good look at their behaviour,
not only toward each other, but also toward God who has
given them plenty of wealth. They should remember that
whatever God gives us is a means of testing us. Some of us
are tested with poverty or limited means, while others are
tested with having plenty. So, using what we have in a way
that pleases God is the course of action that brings us
God’s pleasure and His reward in the life to come.
Moreover, it will bring us an increase of God’s favors in
this life. He says in the Qur’an: “If you are thankful, I
will increase your blessings.” Now, using the riches God
has favored us with to commit serious sinful acts such as
drinking and gambling is not a way of thanking God for His
favors. If one starts to gamble because he can afford that,
he will soon lose his wealth. What he will be left with is
the impulse to gamble, and when he does not have the money
to satisfy this impulse, he will sell even his clothes to
get hold of the money.

What the couple should do is to examine their behavior and
look for ways to bring it in line with Islamic values and
principles. Unless they do, they will continue to have
problems with their marriage in addition to problems
resulting from the immediate action they take. They should
also look at what happened between them as a lesson which
they will do well to heed. If it brings them to the point
of one of them putting the other out of their home, then
they must do something quick to stop all their sinful
behavior and start looking at their wealth as a blessing
which they should use to earn reward from God, not to incur
His displeasure.






























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