Haruna, the angles you highlighted are very important. orphans are not in the situation of death but also through divorce and other peculiar engagements. from the perspective i see it is that, communal assistant goes with family ties and close friendship. in our context as Gambians, one may find it difficult to categorise men/women who are away from their children for years as orphan children. i have highlighted that in the commentary i did on "Gambian immigrant in U.S" some of our brothers leave young children and alas they never witness the growth of this children, the families .extended family look after this kids. but the most important of orphans are orphans through the usual understanding, that is death. as i am writing this, two more Gambians has passed away in the U.K. one in Manchester and another in Crowley. i don't know the names yet, but i attended emergency meeting today to raise fund for the deceased Kalifa saidykhan in Coventry. so understanding orphanage is
 very important. keep up the enlightenment. May God bless the soul of this two Gambians. amen.

  
This conversation has taken us through an identification of who orphaned 
children are. We have narrowed our focus to a critical Flux term reserved for 
bereavement. That is normally between 30-40 days or until the monogamous spouse 
re-marries. The perspective is to devise a plan of secours that encourages 
family cohesion and reunions, and discourages divorce or singular life. The 
Flux period/term is underpinned in religio-traditional lore and therefore will 
be worthwhile to investigate what assistance regime churches and mosques have 
in place for such secours. Any considerations we make here will help to 
augment those programs and where non-existent, we encourage congregants to propose 
it to their church, mosque, or synagogue.

In the area of Orphanage which is a result of a parent or parents separated 
from their families due to assignments, work, scholarship, or volunteer work 
overseas, it is safe to say that that falls more under the purview of the 
individual concerned and the NGO, employer, and or benefactor. It is sometimes 
hard to turn down a lucrative job assignment, scholarship, or volunteer work 
overseas especially for citizens of developing countries. However, if we are 
married or have children, it is only prudent that we insist on some 
accomodation, in writing, from employers, benefactors, or NGO's, for a schedule of 
re-uniting with our family not to exceed a period of one year. I understand that 
some employers and NGO's already take such responsibilities into 
consideration but it may be harder for educational benefactors especially 
non-governmental scholarships. In such cases, and as part of your negotiation, you are best 
advised to negotiate for on campus or part time work and possibly airfare to 
visit your family at least once a year. The part time or on-campus work is to 
enable you to still support you familial responsibilities and other 
incidental expenses.

Some of us volunteer with NGO's as one of my brothers is doing now in Darfur 
as am sure many are doing. It is comforting to know that NGO's incorporate 
considerations for our own families we leave behind as we lend a hand to 
others around the world who are suffering. I advise all NGO's to consider such if 
they haven't already and to encourage family cohesion, to afford volunteers 
family leaves at least once every six months. If the duration of volunteering 
will last longer than 3 years, I recommend rotating volunteers in much the 
same way as soldiers serving overseas are rotated. Soldiers, whether 
peace-keeping or war-making or defensive, fall under the purview of governments and 
multi-lateral agencies so we will not consider soldiers in this conversation.

It therefore appears that work or scholarship-exiled Parent/s have enormous 
lattitude and secours for their families. We have now removed such children 
from our consideration of Orphaned children. We can turn our attention to 
Orphanage caused by Political-exile.

Haruna. I yield for ideas/suggestions/other views.
In a message dated 6/27/2008 7:16:52 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time, 
[log in to unmask] writes:

Thank you Suntou.

You have, perhaps unawares, further advanced the conversation. I caution 
against limiting orphanage to ONLY the absence of the father. I was at great 

pains to not yield to that albeit impressive angle. That said, I want to 
commend 
you for bringing up an important point viz:
"i am proud of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses but still 
take turns to look after their kid's. that is also another important thing." 

Suntou.

I will only add 'sisters' where you have brothers but the anecdote points 
us 
in this if transitional direction in the conversation to yield secours -

Most communities of folk have traditions of assistance to orphaned children 
who have lost one or both parents. Even though this does not readily 
address 
orphans of exiled or estranged parents, it is worth our while to inventory 
what resources we already have on the ground and expand on those. That is 
why 
what you shared is so valuable.

I understand that in Wollof, Mandinka, Jola, Fula, Sarahule, Toucouleur, 
bedouin, Moor, Touareg and Serer traditions, when a father is deceased, one 
of 
his brothers, cousins, or another member of his family undertakes to 
nurture 
his bereaved wife and children. This tradition however is quasi-religious 
and 
part ethnic. In Christian communities, I do not know of a specific 
tradition 
for a brother, cousin, or family member to re-marry the bereaved wife of 
their kin. However, the kind Christian heart does offer secours for the 
bereaved 
family only the wife either becomes a widower for life or is free to 
re-marry 
as she so chooses. Both safety nets are valuable for they provide a 
semblance of stability and haven for the children. So in effect, there is 
some 
structure of continued support for the children and bereaved wives. Now 
then, when 
the mother is deceased, the father is generally free to re-marry n'importe 
qui (as he desires) but advised to marry a wife who will be diligent in 
nurturing the orphaned children as is reasonable within their means. More 
often, the 
death of one or both parents diminishes the family's resources 
significantly 
to a point where despair sets in. Other times, the man is married to other 
wives with whom he has children. In such cases, we must redouble our 
efforts 
as 'other wives' to accept such children as our own and nurture them the 
best 
way possible. Some such communities may have a tradition of allocating the 
children to the wives for shared secours.

It appears therefore that it is the diminished resources of the bereaved 
wife or husband that we ought to focus on to find additional support. At 
least 
until they re-marry. This transitional period can mean the difference 
between 
continued valuable life and death. For example; the brother who, by 
tradition, 
must offer secours for the bereaved children and wife, may himself already 
be struggling for food, home, nad education for his own children but out of 
honour and respect, cannot refuse to take in the bereaved family. The 
bereaved 
father has more discretionary lattitude but still may need a critical 
helping 
hand during the transitional period of loss of the mother and when he 
re-marries. We can see that in all cases, the transitional period which I 
will call 
the Flux term for brevity, is common to all. While re-marrying can be 
encouraged, the children still need help during Flux. Most traditions have 
a period 
of bereavement for the wife (not sure if this is true for the husband), 
generally between 30 - 40 days. Perhaps for those traditions, a focus on 
Flux 
Secours can be valuable.

Now none of what we have discussed so far has bearing on the orphans of 
exiled or estranged parent/parents.

I yield now for more ideas/suggestions/views.

Haruna. 




In a message dated 6/27/2008 7:59:14 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, 
[log in to unmask] writes:

haruna, interesting. your human side is amazing. i wrote a poem about 
children who grow up only with their mothers, i haven't publish it yet. i 
am proud 
of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses but still take turns 
to 
look after their kid's. that is also another important thing. 
unfortunately, 
two years ago, i was in touch with an American lady who had a child with a 
Gambian but the marriage ended and the man moved away, the lady was looking 
for a Gambian to connect the child.
you raised valid points masoud.

Haruna Darbo wrote:
I have been wondering about the affairs and plight of children who have 
lost 

one or both parents. The query brought me to a need to identify such 
children. Help me out if you can please.

I am inclined to describe orphaned children as follows:

1. Those children who have lost a Father and or Mother.
These children span all ages, from the baby who is nursing and suddenly 
robbed of his or her parent/parents, to the adolescent who is on the verge 
of 
taking epochal matriculation exams, to the adult who has relied on his or 
her 
children's grandparents to nurture his or her own children. It runs the 
gamut. 
Suddenly there is not the person who calls you in from play when darkness 
descends or to call you to prayer. The one who answers the principal's 
summons 
when you run roughshod of school rules or to receive your teacher's 
personal 
commendation for your good work. The one you share with your friends when 
you 
take turns boasting about your pedigrees. The one who recognizes you must 
see 
a doctor/dentist when you begin losing your first teeth. The one who brags 
to 
other parents about you or solicits counsel for you. The one who takes you 
fishing, hunting, canoeing, tree-climbing, or on your first ferry-ride. The 
one who cleans your nose in her mouth. The one who defends you when other 
errant parents want to pin juvenile crimes on you in deference to their own 
knuckleheads. The one who tells you not to climb out the window when he or 
she 
goes to sleep just so you can join you friends at the Jafandu party. 
Reminiscences. Life support.

2. Those children who are abandoned if only temporarily.
These children have at one point in their lives or for all their lives 
dealt 
with one or both parents going away for further studies with the hope of 
reunion (which desire is oft overtaken by other consideration and 
intervening 
time and events) or exiled by rogue governance, or overseas appointments.

Perchance, there is some way to yield such children relief and afford them 
a 
semblance of stability and continued value-life. Some of these parents may 
have been the sole breadwinners of the family or may have been married to 
one 
or more wives the latter of whom are themselves at the precipice of hunger, 

despair, and possibly suicide.

I encourage my friends here to consider these children and elevate the 
conversation to some meaningful secours as only the mighty and 
conscientious 
of 
Ellen might be capable of. I now yield for other view/suggestion/ideas.

Thank you my friends and fambul.
Haruna. 





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