BEWARE OF IT THAT ALLAH HAS ENJOINED UPON YOU AS DUTY HERE IN THIS PLACE,ON
THIS DAY,THIS MONTH AND THIS YEAR,TILL THE DAY OF JUDGMENT THE FRIDAY
PRAYER.

                    Marriage
                       BY
       Prof. Abdur Rahman I. Doi Professor and Director,
Center for Islamic Legal Studies, Ahmadu Bello University, Zaire.

Contents

Importance of Marriage in Islam
Conditions of Marriage
Ijbar: A Safety Valve
The Free Consent of the Parties
Prohibited Marriage Partners
Two Suitors Seeking to Marry the Same Girl


------------------------------------------------------------------------

Importance of Marriage in Islam
Allah has created men and women as company for one another, and so that they
can procreate and live in peace and tranquillity according to the
commandments of Allah and the directions of His Messenger. The Qur'an says:

And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among
yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put
love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those
who reflect. (30:21)

And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you,
out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you
sustenance of the best. (16:72)
These verses of the Noble Qur'an clearly show that in contrast to other
religions like Christianity(Roman Catholics),Buddhism, Judaism etc. which
consider celibacy or monasticism as a great virtue and a means of salvation,
Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved
institutions. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) declared, "There is
no monasticism in Islam." He further ordained,


"O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help
him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." (Al-Bukhari)
Modesty was regarded as a great virtue by the Prophet. He said, "Modesty is
part of faith." (Al-Bukhari)

The importance of the institution of marriage receives its greatest emphasis
from the following hadith of the Prophet,

"Marriage is my sunna. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me."
With these Qur'anic injunctions and the guidance from the Prophet (peace be
upon him) in mind, we shall examine the institution of marriage in the
Shari'ah.
The word zawaj is used in the Qur'an to signify a pair or a mate. But in
common parlance it stands for marriage. Since the family is the nucleus of
Islamic society, and marriage is the only way to bring families into
existence, the Prophet (peace be upon him) insisted upon his followers
entering into marriage The Shari'ah prescribes rules to regulate the
functioning of the family so that both spouses can live together in love,
security, and tranquillity. Marriage in Islam has aspects of both 'ibadah
(worship) of Allah and mu'amalah (transactions between human beings).

In its 'ibadah aspect, marriage is an act pleasing to Allah because it is in
accordance with his commandments that husband and wife love each other and
help each other to make efforts to continue the human race and rear and
nurse their children to become true servants of Allah.

In its mu'amalah aspect, marriage being a lawful response to the basic
biological instinct to have sexual intercourse and to procreate children,
the Shari'ah has prescribed detailed rules for translating this response
into a living human institution reinforced by a whole framework of legally
enforceable rights and duties, not only of the spouses, but also of their
offspring.

These aspects are beautifully explained in a tradition of the Prophet. It is
narrated by Anas that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear
Allah regarding the remaining half."
The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion because
it shields him from promiscuity, adultery, fornication, homosexuality etc.,
which ultimately lead to many other evils like
slander,quarreling,homicide,loss of property and disintegration of the
family. According to the Prophet (peace be upon him) the remaining half of
the faith can be saved by taqwa.

Conditions of Marriage
Careful consideration of the Qur'anic injunctions and the traditions of the
Prophet (peace be upon him) clearly show that marriage is compulsory (wajib)
for a man who has the means to easily pay the mahr (dowry) and to support a
wife and children, and is healthy, and fears that if he does not marry, he
may be tempted to commit fornication (zina).It is also compulsory for a
woman who has no other means of maintaining herself and who fears that her
sexual urge may push her into fornication. But even for a person who has a
strong will to control his sexual desire, who has no wish to have children,
and who feels that marriage will keep him away from his devotion to Allah,
it is commendable (mandub).
However, according to the Maliki school, under certain conditions it is
obligatory (fard) for a Muslim to marry even if he is not in a position to
earn his living:

If he fears that by not marrying he will commit fornication (zina).
If he is unable to fast to control his passions or his fasting does not help
him to refrain from zina.
Even if he is unable to find a slave girl or a destitute girl to marry.
However some jurists suggest that if a man cannot procure a lawful
livelihood, he must not marry because if he marries without any hope of
getting lawful bread, he may commit theft, and in order to avoid one evil
(his passions) he may become the victim of another (theft).
The Hanafi school considers marriage as obligatory (fard) for a man:

If he is sure that he will commit zina if he does not marry.
If he cannot fast to control his passions or even if he can fast, his fast
does not help him to control his passion.
If he cannot get a slave-girl to marry.
If he is able to pay the dowry (mahr) and to earn a lawful livelihood.
Marriage is forbidden (haram) to a man, according to the Hanafi school, if
he does not possess the means to maintain his wife and children or if he
suffers from an illness, serious enough to affect his wife and progeny.
It is not desirable (makruh) for a man who possesses no sexual desire at all
or who has no love for children or who is sure to be slackened in his
religious obligations as a result of marriage.

In a beautiful tradition the Prophet (peace be upon him) has given the most
important point that should weigh with every Muslim in selecting his bride:

"Whoever marries a woman solely for her power and position, Allah will only
increase him in humiliation. Whoever marries a woman solely for her wealth,
Allah will only increase him in poverty. Whoever marries a woman because of
her beauty, Allah will only increase him in ugliness. But whoever marries a
woman in order that he may restrain his eyes, observe cautiousness, and
treat his relations kindly, Allah puts a blessing in her for him and in him
for her."
In order that problems should not arise after marriage the Prophet (peace be
upon him) recommended that, in the selection of his bride, a man should see
her before betrothal lest blindness of choice or an error of judgment should
defeat the very purpose of marriage. But this "seeing" is not to be taken as
a substitute for the "courtship" of the West. The man should not gaze
passionately at his bride-to-be, but only have a critical look at her face
and hands to acquaint himself with her personality and beauty. However, if a
man so desires, he may appoint a woman to go and interview the proposed
bride, so that she may fully describe the type of girl she is.

Since believing men and women are referred to in the Qur'an, a woman also
has the right to look at her potential husband.

The special permission for men and women to see each other with a view to
matrimony does not contravene the code of conduct for believing men and
women to lower their gaze and be modest which is laid down in the Holy
Qur'an.

Ijbar: A Safety Valve
The consent of both the man and the women is an essential element of
marriage, and the Qur'an gives women a substantial role in choosing their
own life partners. It lays down:

Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between
themselves in a lawful manner. (2: 232)
However, Imam Malik, one of the four great Imams of the Sunni schools of
Islamic jurisprudence, gives a slightly restrictive interpretation to this
verse and makes the choice of partner by a Muslim girl subject to the
over-ruling power or ijbar of her father or guardian in the interests of the
girl herself.

It may sometimes happen that in her immaturity or over-zealousness, a girl
may want to marry a man about whom she has distorted information or who does
not possess good character or who lacks proper means of livelihood. In such
a case, it is better, or rather incumbent upon the girl's father or
guardian, that, in the wider interests of the girl, he restrains her from
marrying such a worthless man and finds a suitable person to be her husband.
Generally speaking, such marriages arranged by fathers and guardians work
better than a marriage brought about through western courtship.

The case of Abu Juham bin Hudhaifah and Mu'awiyah ibn Abu Sufyan is relevant
here. They proposed marriage to Fatimah bint Ghaith. The Prophet (peace be
upon him) advised Fatimah not to marry either of them on the grounds that
Mu'awiyah was then a pauper and Abu Juham was cruel and harsh. So she
married Usamah.

The Free Consent of the Parties
The Qur'an (4:21) refers to marriage as a mithaq, i.e. a solemn covenant or
agreement between husband and wife, and enjoins that it be put down in
writing. Since no agreement can be reached between the parties unless they
give their consent to it, marriage can be contracted only with the free
consent of the two parties. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

"The widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until their order is
obtained, and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is
obtained." (AlBukhari)
This aspect is greatly emphasized by Imam Bukhari. He, in fact, gave one of
the chapters in his Sahih the significant title:

"When a man gives his daughter in marriage and she dislikes it, the marriage
shall be annulled." Once a virgin girl came to the Prophet (peace be upon
him) and said that her father had married her to a man against her wishes.
The Prophet gave her the right to repudiate the marriage. (Abu Dawud).
Divorced women are also given freedom to contract a second marriage. The
Holy Qur'an says,

And when you divorce women, and they have come to the end of their waiting
period, hinder them not from marrying other men if they have agreed with
each other in a fair manner. (2: 232)
With regard to widows, the Qur'an says,

And if any of you die and leave behind wives, they bequeath thereby to their
widows (the right to) one year's maintenance without their being obliged to
leave (their husband's home), but if they leave (the residence) of their own
accord, there is no blame on you for what they do with themselves in a
lawful manner. (2:234)
Thus widows are also at liberty to re-marry, even within the period
mentioned above; and if they do so they must forgo their claim to
traditional maintenance during the remainder of the year. However, it must
be remembered that the power of ijbar given to the  father or the guardian
by the Maliki school over their selection of life- partner obtains in all
the situations considered above, namely, whether the daughter or the ward is
a virgin or divorcee or widow.

Prohibited Marriage Partners
Under the Shari'ah, marriages between men and women standing in a certain
relationship to one another are prohibited. These prohibited degrees are
either of a permanent nature or a temporary. The permanently prohibited
degrees of marriage are laid down in the Holy Qur'an :

And marry not those women whom your fathers married, except what has already
happened (of that nature) in the past. Lo! it was ever lewdness and
abomination, and an evil way. Forbidden unto you are your mothers and your
daughters, and your sisters and your father's sisters and your mother's
sisters, and your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and your
foster-mothers and your foster-sisters, and your mothers-in-law and your
step-daughters who are under your mother-in-law and your step-daughters who
are under your protection (born) of your women unto whom you have gone into
-- but if you have not gone into them, then it is no sin for you (to marry
their daughters) -- and the wives of your sons from your own loins, and that
you should have two sisters together, except what has already happened (of
that nature) in the past. Allah is ever-Forgiving, Merciful. (4:22 - 24)
From the above verses, it is clear that a Muslim must never marry the
following:


His mother
His step-mother (this practice continues in Yoruba land in Nigeria, where in
some cases the eldest son inherits the youngest wife of his father)
His grandmother (including father's and mother's mothers and all preceding
mothers e.g. great grandmothers )
His daughter (including granddaughters and beyond )
His sister (whether full, consanguine or uterine)
His father's sisters (including paternal grandfather's sisters)
His mother's sisters (including maternal grandmother's sisters)
His brother's daughters
His foster mother
His foster mother's sister
His sister's daughter
His foster sister
His wife's mother
His step-daughter (i.e. a daughter by a former husband of a woman he has
married if the marriage has been consummated. However, if such a marriage
was not consummated, there is no prohibition)
His real son's wife
A great wisdom lies behind these prohibitions on the grounds of
consanguinity, affinity, and fosterage. No social cohesion can exist if
people do not keep these prohibitions in their minds while contracting
marriages.
Temporary prohibitions are those which arise only on account of certain
special circumstances in which the parties are placed. If the circumstances
change, the prohibition also disappears. They are as follows:

A man must not have two sisters as wives at the same time nor can he marry a
girl and her aunt at the same time.
A man must not marry a woman who is already married. However this impediment
is removed immediately the marriage is dissolved either by the death of her
former husband, or by divorce followed by completion of the period of 'iddah
(retreat).
A man must not have more than four wives at one time. This impediment is, of
course, removed as soon as one of the wives dies or is divorced.
A man must not marry a woman during her 'iddah.
Regarding this last prohibition, the Qur'an expects Muslims to act with the
utmost propriety and righteousness. It lays down:

...but do not make a secret contract with them except in honourable terms,
nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled.
(2:235)
This means that a man must not make a specific proposal of marriage to a
woman during the time of her 'iddah after the death of her husband or an
irrevocable divorce. However, he can send a message saying, for instance, "I
wish to find a woman of good character". But if a woman is in the 'iddah of
a divorce which is revocable where raja' (return) is possible, a man must
not send her even an implied invitation to marry him, because she is still
considered as the lawful wife of the first husband. In fact, this
restriction is most beneficial because it prevents a man from becoming an
instrument of breaking up a family where there are still chances of
reconciliation between the wife and husband even though they are moving away
from each other.

Two Suitors Seeking to Marry the Same Girl
The Prophet (peace be upon him) disapproved of two persons competing with
one another to secure marriage with the same girl. This is because such a
situation is likely to develop bitter enmity between two Muslim brothers.
The Prophet said,
"A believer is a brother of a believer. Hence it is not lawful for him to
bargain upon the bargain of a brother, nor propose for (the hand of a girl)
after the marriage proposal of his brother, until the latter (voluntarily)
withdraws the proposal."
Imam Abu Hanifa, Imam Shafi'i, and Imam Malik, all hold the view that it is
a sin to put a proposal of marriage against the proposal of another Muslim
brother. However, if a marriage is contracted in this wrongful way it will
be sufficient if the second suitor who was successful seeks the forgiveness
of the first suitor and of Allah. But Imam Dhahiri considers such a marriage
void. It is respectfully submitted that the former view is more rational and
sound.


                     PART II
                Wedding in Islam
          by Mir Mohammed Assadullah

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spouses:
Allah, most Gracious says about spouses in Quran:
Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among
yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has
planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who
reflect. Qur'an [30 : 21]
He has planted affection and mercy between you. Qur'an [30: 12]

and says:
They are a garment for you and you are a garment to them. Qur'an [2 : 187]
Consider this in conjunction with the following verse:
The best garment is the garment of God-consciousness Qur'an [7 : 26]
It requires that a husband and wife should be as garments for each other.
Just as garments are for protection, comfort, show and concealment for human
beings, Allah expects husbands and wives to be for one another.
And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another;
they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and
they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger; as for those,
Allah will have mercy on them; Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise. Allah hath
promised to believers - men and women - gardens underwhich rivers flow, to
dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss; but
the greatest bliss is the good pleasure of Allah: This is the supreme
felicity. Qur'an [9 : 71 - 72]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whom to marry:
Allah also gives us freedom and urges us to:

...Marry the women of your choice... Qur'an [4 : 3]
Similarly, for the women:
"A girl came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and informed him that her
father had married her to her cousin against her wishes, whereupon the
Prophet allowed her to exercise her choice. She then said, 'I am reconciled
to what my father did but I wanted to make it known to women that fathers
have no say in this matter'". - Hadith narrated by Ibn Majah

Narrated Abdullah: "We were with the Prophet, peace be upon him, while we
were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle, peace be upon
him, said, `O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry,
because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is
not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.'"

Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `A woman is
married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty,
and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman [otherwise] you
will be a loser.'"

Mahr:
Mahr is the gift that is given by the husband to his wife at wedding. It can
be anything in any amount, as agreed by the bride and bride-groom.
Allah says about Mahr in the Chapter `Woman' in Quran:


And give the women (on marriage) their Mahr as a free gift.
Qur'an [4 : 4]
If you had given the latter a cantar (of gold i.e. a great amount) for dower
(Mahr) take not the least bit of it back ...
Qur'an [4 : 20]

Narrated Sahl bin Sa`d: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said to a man,
`Marry, even with (a Mahr equal to) an iron ring.'"

Sex:
Sex is seen as an act of procreation. An eye for the what is about to come
is kept open in this respect as well. The following prayer reminds us of
God, results of our actions and reminds us of our commitment to train our
offspring.
Narrated Ibn Abbas: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `If anyone of
you, when having a sexual intercourse with his wife says:

"In the name of Allah! O Allah! Protect me from Satan and protect what you
bestow upon us (i.e. an offspring) from Satan. and if it is destined that
they should have a child, then Satan will never be able to harm him.'"

Walima:
Walima is the wedding reception given to friends and family after the
consummation of marriage. It is given by the husband on this auspicious
occassion, showing his happiness and sharing it with the friends and family.
Abdur Rahman bin Auf said, "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said to me,
`Give a wedding banquet, even with one sheep.'"

Narrated Abu Musa: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `Set the captives
free, accept the invitation (including to a wedding banquet), and pay a
visit to the patients.'"

By this saying of the Prophet, peace be upon him, it is also enjoined upon
us to join in the happiness of our brothers.

Duties and Rights of Husband and Wife after marriage:
Allah informs us about the just rights of each other on us:
But, in accordance with justice, the wife's rights (with regard to their
husbands) are equal to the (husband's) rights with regard to them, although
men are a degree above them; and Allah is Almighty, Wise. Qur'an [2 : 228]
The statement that men are a degree above women means that authority within
the household has been give to the husband in preference to the wife because
a heavier burden has been placed on his shoulders by another verse of the
Quran which says:

Men shall take full care of women, because Allah has given the one more
strength than the other, and because they support them from their means.
Qur'an [4 : 34]

Advices to Husbands:
Jabir Narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him, gave these instructions
in his sermon during Farewell Pilgrimage: "Fear God regarding women; for you
have taken them [in marriage] with the trust of God." [Mishkat]
Narrated Aisha, God's messenger said: "Among the believers who show most
perfect faith are those who have the best disposition, and are kindest to
their families." [Tirmidhi]

Narrated Abu Huraira, God's messenger said: "The believers who show the most
perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you
are those who are best to their wives." [Tirmidhi]

Aisha has related that the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, would enter the
house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips. [Uswa-i-Hasana]

Narrated Al-Aswad: "I asked Aisha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him,
do at home?' She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the
call for  prayer, he would go out.'" [Bukhari]

Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `The woman
is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want
to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some bent.'" [Bukhari]

Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `Whoever
believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbor.
And I advise you to take care of women, for they are created from a rib and
the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to
straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked,
so I urge you to take care of women. [Bukhari]

Narrated Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-As: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him,
said, `O Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast all the day and
stand in prayer all night?' I said, `Yes, O Allah's Apostle!' He said, `Do
not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them at other times;
stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a
right over you and your wife has a right over you.'" [Bukhari]

Narrated Ibn Umar: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `All of you are
guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian and
the man is a guardian of his family; the lady is a guardian who is
responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are
guardians and are responsible for your wards.'"

Men should forbear any shortcomings of women in view of the following verse
of Quran:

Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike
something in which God has place much good. Qur'an [4 : 19]

Advices to Wives:
Anas reported God's messenger as saying, "When a woman observes the five
times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her
husband, she may enter by any of the gates of paradise she wishes (in other
words nothing will prevent her from entering paradise)." [Mishkat]
Um Salma reported God's messenger as saying, "Any woman who dies when her
husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise." [Tirmidhi]

Abu Huraira told that when God's messenger was asked which woman was best,
he replied, "The one who fills [her husband] with joy when he sees her,
obeys him when he directs and does not oppose him by displeasing him
regarding her person or property." [Mishkat]

Providing for wife and family:
Quran teaches us to be reasonable and fair to our wives and family.
House women wherever you reside, accoding to your circumstances, and do not
harass them in order to make life difficult for them. Qur'an [65:6]
The statement of Allah in the chapter `Woman':
`Men are protectors and maintainers of women.' Qur'an [4 : 34]
Bukhari quotes the following verse under the heading: .. the superiority of
providing for one's family:
(O Mohammed!) They ask you what they ought to spend. Say: That which is
beyond your needs. Thus Allah make clear to you His Signs in order that you
may give thought (to it) in this worldly life and the Hereafter. Qur'an [2 :
219-220]
Narrated Abu Masud Al-Ansari: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `When a
Muslim spends something on his family intending to receive Allah's reward,
it is regarded as Sadqa (spending in the name of God) for him.'"
We should always remember that Allah is the one who gives us, we are mere
trustees of the funds.

Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `Allah
said, O son of Adam! Spend, and I shall spend on you.'"

Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `The best
alms is that which you give when you are rich, and you should support your
dependants first.'" [Bukhari]

Abu Huraira reported God's messenger, peace be upon him, as saying: "Of the
dinar (unit of currency) that you spend as a contribution in God's path, or
to set free a slave, or as charity given to a needy, or to support your
family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your
family. [Muslim]


Praise is for Allah-I seek his help and forgiveness.We seek Allah's
protection from the evils of ourselves.Whomsoever He shows the righteous
path none can mislead him.And whomsoveer He deprives of righteous path,none
can put him the path of righteous.And I bear that there is no other god
except Allah,the one who has no other partner and I bear witness that
Mohammed is His servant and Apostle,He sent him as giver of the glad tiding
and warner,ahead of the Day of Judgement.Whoever obeys Allah and his
prophet,he is on the path of righteous and whoever disobeys Allah and his
prophet,he harms himself only and not Allah in the least.
    May Allah, subhannahu wa ta'ala,guide us all to His Sirat Al-Mustaqim
(Righteous Path). May He protect us from the evils of this life and the
hereafter. May Allah, subhannahu wa ta'ala, grant us entrance to paradise ..
Ameen






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