This conversation has taken us through an identification of who orphaned  
children are. We have narrowed our focus to a critical Flux term reserved for  
bereavement. That is normally between 30-40 days or until the monogamous spouse  
re-marries. The perspective is to devise a plan of secours that encourages  
family cohesion and reunions, and discourages divorce or singular life. The 
Flux  period/term is underpinned in religio-traditional lore and therefore will 
be  worthwhile to investigate what assistance regime churches and mosques have 
in  place for such secours. Any considerations we make here will help to 
augment  those programs and where non-existent, we encourage congregants to propose 
it to  their church, mosque, or synagogue.
 
In the area of Orphanage which is a result of a parent or parents separated  
from their families due to assignments, work, scholarship, or volunteer work  
overseas, it is safe to say that that falls more under the purview of the  
individual concerned and the NGO, employer, and or benefactor. It is sometimes  
hard to turn down a lucrative job assignment, scholarship, or volunteer work  
overseas especially for citizens of developing countries. However, if we are  
married or have children, it is only prudent that we insist on some  
accomodation, in writing, from employers, benefactors, or NGO's, for a schedule  of 
re-uniting with our family not to exceed a period of one year. I understand  that 
some employers and NGO's already take such responsibilities into  
consideration but it may be harder for educational benefactors especially  
non-governmental scholarships. In such cases, and as part of your negotiation,  you are best 
advised to negotiate for on campus or part time work and possibly  airfare to 
visit your family at least once a year. The part time or on-campus  work is to 
enable you to still support you familial responsibilities and other  
incidental expenses.
 
Some of us volunteer with NGO's as one of my brothers is doing now in  Darfur 
as am sure many are doing. It is comforting to know that NGO's  incorporate 
considerations for our own families we leave behind as we lend a  hand to 
others around the world who are suffering. I advise all NGO's to  consider such if 
they haven't already and to encourage family cohesion, to  afford volunteers 
family leaves at least once every six months. If the duration  of volunteering 
will last longer than 3 years, I recommend rotating volunteers  in much the 
same way as soldiers serving overseas are rotated. Soldiers, whether  
peace-keeping or war-making or defensive, fall under the purview of  governments and 
multi-lateral agencies so we will not consider soldiers in this  conversation.
 
It therefore appears that work or scholarship-exiled Parent/s have enormous  
lattitude and secours for their families. We have now removed such children 
from  our consideration of Orphaned children. We can turn our attention to 
Orphanage  caused by Political-exile.
 
Haruna. I yield for ideas/suggestions/other views.
 In a message dated 6/27/2008 7:16:52 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time,  
[log in to unmask] writes:

Thank  you Suntou.

You have, perhaps unawares, further advanced the  conversation. I caution  
against limiting orphanage to ONLY the  absence of the father. I was at great 
 
pains to not yield to that  albeit impressive angle. That said, I want to 
commend  
you for  bringing up an important point viz:
"i am proud of many Gambian brothers  who are divorce with spouses but still  
take turns to look after  their kid's. that is also another important thing." 
 
Suntou.

I  will only add 'sisters' where you have brothers but the anecdote points   
us 
in this if transitional direction in the conversation to yield  secours  -

Most communities of folk have traditions of assistance  to orphaned children  
who have lost one or both parents. Even though  this does not readily  
address 
orphans of exiled or estranged  parents, it is worth our while to  inventory 
what resources we  already have on the ground and expand on those. That  is 
why 
what you  shared is so valuable.

I understand that in Wollof, Mandinka, Jola,  Fula, Sarahule,  Toucouleur, 
bedouin, Moor, Touareg and Serer  traditions, when a father is  deceased, one 
of 
his brothers, cousins,  or another member of his family  undertakes to 
nurture 
his bereaved  wife and children. This tradition however is  quasi-religious 
and  
part ethnic. In Christian communities, I do not know of a  specific  
tradition 
for a brother, cousin, or family member to re-marry the   bereaved wife of 
their kin. However, the kind Christian heart does offer  secours  for the 
bereaved 
family only the wife either becomes a  widower for life or is  free to 
re-marry 
as she so chooses. Both  safety nets are valuable for they  provide a 
semblance of stability  and haven for the children. So in effect, there  is 
some 
structure of  continued support for the children and bereaved wives. Now  
then, when  
the mother is deceased, the father is generally free to re-marry   n'importe 
qui (as he desires) but advised to marry a wife who will be  diligent  in 
nurturing the orphaned children as is reasonable within  their  means. More 
often, the 
death of one or both parents diminishes  the family's  resources 
significantly 
to a point where despair sets  in. Other times, the man  is married to other 
wives with whom he has  children. In such cases, we must  redouble our 
efforts 
as 'other  wives' to accept such children as our own  and nurture them the 
best  
way possible. Some such communities may have a  tradition of  allocating the 
children to the wives for shared secours.

It appears  therefore that it is the diminished resources of the bereaved  
wife  or husband that we ought to focus on to find additional support. At  
least  
until they re-marry. This transitional period can mean the  difference 
between  
continued valuable life and death. For example;  the brother who, by 
tradition, 
must offer secours for the bereaved  children and wife, may himself already 
be  struggling for food, home,  nad education for his own children but out of 
honour  and respect,  cannot refuse to take in the bereaved family. The 
bereaved 
father   has more discretionary lattitude but still may need a critical 
helping  
hand  during the transitional period of loss of the mother and when  he 
re-marries.  We can see that in all cases, the transitional period  which I 
will call 
the  Flux term for brevity, is common to all. While  re-marrying can be 
encouraged,  the children still need help during  Flux. Most traditions have 
a period 
of  bereavement for the wife (not  sure if this is true for the husband), 
generally  between 30 - 40  days. Perhaps for those traditions, a focus on 
Flux 
Secours  can be  valuable.

Now none of what we have discussed so far has bearing on the  orphans  of 
exiled or estranged parent/parents.

I yield now  for more ideas/suggestions/views.

Haruna. 




In a  message dated 6/27/2008 7:59:14 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,   
[log in to unmask] writes:

haruna,  interesting. your human  side is amazing. i wrote a poem about 
children who  grow up only with  their mothers, i haven't publish it yet. i 
am proud 
of many  Gambian  brothers who are divorce with spouses but still take turns 
to 
look   after their kid's. that is also another important thing. 
unfortunately,  
two  years ago, i was in touch with an American lady who had a child  with a 
Gambian  but the marriage ended and the man moved away, the  lady was looking 
for a  Gambian to connect the child.
you raised  valid points  masoud.

Haruna Darbo <[log in to unmask]>  wrote:
I  have been wondering about the affairs and plight of children  who have 
lost 

one or both parents. The query brought me to a need to  identify such  
children. Help me out if you can please.

I am  inclined to describe  orphaned children as follows:

1. Those  children who have lost a Father  and or Mother.
These children span  all ages, from the baby who is nursing  and suddenly 
robbed of his or  her parent/parents, to the adolescent who is  on the verge 
of  
taking epochal matriculation exams, to the adult who has  relied on  his or 
her 
children's grandparents to nurture his or her own   children. It runs the 
gamut. 
Suddenly there is not the person who  calls  you in from play when darkness 
descends or to call you to  prayer. The one  who answers the principal's 
summons 
when you run  roughshod of school rules  or to receive your teacher's 
personal  
commendation for your good work. The  one you share with your friends  when 
you 
take turns boasting about your  pedigrees. The one who  recognizes you must 
see 
a doctor/dentist when you  begin losing  your first teeth. The one who brags 
to 
other parents about  you  or solicits counsel for you. The one who takes you 
fishing, hunting,   canoeing, tree-climbing, or on your first ferry-ride. The 
one who  cleans  your nose in her mouth. The one who defends you when other  
errant parents  want to pin juvenile crimes on you in deference to  their own 
knuckleheads.  The one who tells you not to climb out the  window when he or 
she 
goes to  sleep just so you can join you  friends at the Jafandu party.  
Reminiscences. Life support.

2.  Those children who are abandoned if  only temporarily.
These children  have at one point in their lives or for  all their lives 
dealt 
with  one or both parents going away for further  studies with the hope of  
reunion (which desire is oft overtaken by other  consideration and  
intervening 
time and events) or exiled by rogue  governance, or  overseas appointments.

Perchance, there is some way to  yield such  children relief and afford them 
a 
semblance of stability and   continued value-life. Some of these parents may 
have been the sole   breadwinners of the family or may have been married to 
one 
or more  wives  the latter of whom are themselves at the precipice of hunger, 
 
despair, and  possibly suicide.

I encourage my friends here to  consider these  children and elevate the 
conversation to some  meaningful secours as only  the mighty and 
conscientious 
of 
Ellen  might be capable of. I now yield for  other  view/suggestion/ideas.

Thank you my friends and   fambul.
Haruna. 





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