Anger and Self-Restraint.

The Prophet (peace be upon him), who has highlighted for us
every aspect of good behavior, repeatedly spoke about anger
and the need to control it. We all know that people often
do things when angry which they regret afterward. When one
is in the flight of anger, one may abuse, verbally if not
physically, those who are very close to him. An angry young
man can often speak ill to his parents, or to his elders.
When some people lose their temper, they commit crimes
which they would never contemplate when they are in
possession of their senses. We also know that many people
divorce their wives when they are in the flight of temper,
then they regret what they had said and try to find a way
out of their dilemma should such divorce be the third time.
They may hire someone as halalah, who would marry the woman
for a day and then divorce her to make it permissible for
her original husband to re-marry her. This sort of trick is
forbidden in Islam and it defeats the purpose because it
does not make it lawful for the couple to reunite in
marriage.

Because of the great harm anger often causes, the Prophet
spoke repeatedly, and in a variety of ways about the
importance of self-restraint. One famous Hadith quotes the
Prophet as saying: “A strong man is not one who physically
overpowers others. A strong man is one who controls himself
when angry.” (Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood and
Ahmad).

In this Hadith, the Prophet redefines strength, making
clear that it is totally different from what people think.
A person may be physically powerful, and he may be able to
wrestle with anyone and beat them. He may be able to
physically beat two or three persons when he fights them
single-handed. Yet he is not truly strong, according to the
Prophet’s definition of strength. The one who is truly
powerful is the person who, being very angry, is able to
exercise self-restraint, controlling his temper and not
allowing his anger to get the better of him. We all know
this to be true, because we all experience anger and we
know that unless we tame our anger with self-control, it
can easily make us do what we will soon regret.

The Prophet puts this thought in a different way. Anas
reports that the Prophet passed by some people who were
wrestling. He asked about the occasion, and he was told
that one of them has been too strong for the others, able
to beat every challenger. The Prophet said to them: “Shall
I tell you about someone who is more powerful than him? A
man who is verbally abused by another, but he exercises
self-restraint. He thus beat the other person, his own
devil and the other man’s devil.” Thus we see how the
Prophet uses the occasion of a wrestling match in which
people admire physical strength in order to highlight what
is more important, which is the need to remain in control
even when anger is likely to get the better of us.

The fact that several Hadiths speak about the same thing
means that the Prophet attached importance to the subject
matter because of its relevance to people’s lives. In the
two Hadiths we quoted the Prophet related self-restraint to
strength. In another Hadith, he shows that such
self-restraint can earn good reward from God. Abdullah ibn
Umar quotes the Prophet as saying: “No bitter gulp earns
greater reward than that of a person who controls his anger
only for God’s sake.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab
Al-Mufrad, Ahmad and Ibn Majah).

In this Hadith the Prophet describes controlling one’s
temper as something really bitter which one has to swallow.
It is much easier to give vent to one’s anger, hurling
verbal abuse on the person who has been the cause of such
anger, or even resort to physical action. But when
self-restraint is exercised for no reason other than to
please God, then it earns great reward indeed. This applies
in a situation where the angry person can easily avenge
himself on the one who caused his anger, but refrains from
doing so, controlling himself in order not to worsen the
situation, or to ensure some other benefit.

Yet people do not like to be reminded of this great virtue,
particularly when they are angry. The following Hadith
clarifies this. Sulayman ibn Sarad reports: “I was sitting
with the Prophet when two men were quarrelling and abusing
each other. One of them was so angry that his face was red
and his veins swelled. The Prophet said: ‘I know a word
which would dispel this man’s trouble if he would only say
it: I seek shelter with God from the accursed Satan, or
A’oodhu billah min al-shaytan al-rajeem.’ People told the
man to say it, but he retorted: ‘Do you think I am crazy?’”
(Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Al-Nassaie and Abu Dawood).


This example illustrates the sort of reaction angry people
may give when they are reminded of the need to control
themselves. When the man was told to seek refuge with God
against his devil, he retorted that he was not crazy. No
one described him as such, and no one would think that
seeking God’s protection is a sign of madness, but in his
anger the man could not judge things properly. Hence, his
angry reaction. Therefore, it is important to study such
Hadiths and learn the importance of controlling our temper
so that when we get angry we can make use of what we
learned and accept advice when we are reminded of the way
to control our anger.

Another Hadith tells of a different way to prevent temper
from flying high. It is simply to remain silent and to say
nothing when one is angry. Ibn Abbas quotes the Prophet as
saying: “Teach and make things easy, and if you are angry,
remain silent.” He repeated the first part three times and
said the second part twice. This Hadith is related by
Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad and by Ahmad.

The two parts of the Hadith are not unrelated. Making
things easy to learn and to practice is very important.
When things are made difficult, people simply would not
learn or do them. One thing the Prophet teaches us in this
Hadith is self-restraint, and this can be achieved by
something that is by no means difficult, which is to remain
silent. By doing so, we do not only control our own temper,
but it also gives the other person no cause to get angry or
to reply to anything.


Earning Reward From God After Death

Q.1. What are the actions that ensure receiving reward from
God after one’s death?

Q.2. Do all people face punishment in the grave? Is it true
that reciting Surah 67 regularly makes one exempt from such
punishment?

Q.3. Who was the first Prophet and to whom was he sent? How
many prophets did God send altogether?

A.1. The Prophet (peace be upon him) tells us in a highly
authentic Hadith that “when a person dies, his actions come
to an end except in one of three ways: a continuous act of
charity, a useful contribution to knowledge, and a dutiful
child who prays for him.” The first of these has been the
basis for the countless number of endowments made by
Muslims in every generation. The other two are too clear to
require any comment.

A.2. The Prophet says that the grave could be either “a
piece of the garden of heaven or a pit of the fire of
hell.” This means that only those who deserve punishment,
on account of their misdeeds in life, will face this
punishment. People who truly believe in God and the Last
Day of Judgment and do good deeds in life need not fear any
of it. It is not the reading of a particular surah that
ensures exemption from it; it is faith and good action.

A.3. The first Prophet was Adam, and he was sent to
mankind. We do not know the exact number of prophets and
messengers God sent to people because He says in the Qur’an
that some of His messengers have not been mentioned by Him.
We know only about those mentioned in the Qur’an, and they
number 25 only. But there were many more.







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