MR KNOW-ALL PARTIES ON
By Baba Galleh Jallow

Having recruited his low IQ loyal stooges, Mr. Know-All created his hyper
smart Operation See All Unit. With his strong background in Rattling
Procedures, Heehawlogy, Sophisticated Cackology, Slipshody and Hot Air
Procedures, Rhinehart Soberlook proceeded to give his recruits six weeks of
intensive training after which he unleashed them to various locations in our
little town.
Knowing all about the psychology of human kind, Rhinehart Soberlook did not
create new stations around our little town for his new recruits. Instead, he
just pumped them back into the midst of our common townsfolk, with
instructions for some to frequent their normal peer groups and ‘vous’, some
to frequent popular draught corners, others to join social clubs, some to
frequent entertainment spots around town and some just to roam around with
hidden micro-recorders that captured the unguarded statements of unwary
folks, to which the great Rhinehart Soberlook later listened with much juicy
relish.
Like a giant multi-headed hydra with hundreds of invisible tentacles, our
gentle Rhinehart Soberlook encroached on our little town. As time went by,
he drafted more and more recruits and unleashed them into all nooks and
crannies of our little town. His Operation See All Unit infiltrated all
organizational structures in our little town, from town and neighbourhood
councils, to street and community clubs, from large families to single
households, from school staff rooms to student classrooms, from public
departments to private institutions.
Having discovered the golden rule that he who had the gold made the rules,
Rhinehart Soberlook conducted his Operation See All Unit with remarkable
gusto and relished the sense of awesome power he derived from the vast loads
of information he got on a daily basis. It sometimes really tickled his
cheeks and made it rain in his juicy buds. Sometimes, he felt so thrilled
that his head would expand like a balloon and seem to touch the skies, and
make him feel like a god.
Often times, he would lock himself up in his office and proceed into his
special room where he would stand before his man-sized mirror, arms akimbo,
and admire his uniquely handsome face. He would broadly smile and vigorously
shake his head and shut his eyes and open them wide and wriggle his waist
and proudly prowl around, his shoulders hunched. Once in a while, when he
was really in the mood, Rhinehart Soberlook would struck up his favourite
tune, and gaily rock to and fro, to and fro, round and round, to the mute
rhythm of some imagined beat. He felt mighty pleased that he was just number
one, when it came to knowledge and wisdom. He would frolic before the mirror
for hours on end, then eventually saunter proudly out of his office, huffing
and puffing to the hearing of all, to indicate just how busy he had been all
day long.
Many unwary staff of Jahasay Enterprise and an increasing number of our
common townsfolk fell prey to Rhinehart Soberlook’s Operation See All Unit.
Those staff who happened to be critical of the great guy and made some
unguarded comment on his actions soon found themselves out of employment.
Supposedly close associates of the power bag found themselves on the wrong
side of the great divide for some passing comment they made on how difficult
or petty Mr. know-All was, or why he should take a certain policy decision.
But the ones who suffered most were those who dared openly question the
wisdom or probity of any word spoken or action taken by Mr. Know-All. These
were not only sacked, but were later stalked and manhandled by dark-street
thugs or perpetually harassed by threat-ridden anonymous malicious phone
calls, thanks to the unassailable wisdom and power of Mr. Know-All’s golden
rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules.
And so for many, many years, our gentle Mr. Know-All ran his famous Jahasay
Enterprises from his sky-high pinnacle of mind-boggling power in our little
town. After all, was it not true that knowledge was power?


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