Greetings, perhaps I'm missing something, but, uh, what is the point of this story?  OK, forget
that question, but why couldn't you have checked with the lady first before giving her number out?
 Even in The Gambia, where people tend to be so close, just because one might have the same last
name as someone else, doesn't mean that they know each other.  If the man really had good
intentions, he'd have understood if you'd have explained to him that it would be a violation of
your trust, or the regulations of the organization, etc., to give this information out to him.  Or
perhaps he could have demonstrated how it is, exactly, that he is related to this woman.  


I understand that you feel that you were duped, but in the story you tell, I coulda seen this
comin' a mile away.  Man comes to you with request for phone number of lady on the pretense of
"re-establishing family ties", yet he can't, seemingly, demonstrate the relation of the supposed
"family ties".  Shouldn't that have told you something?  Or, shouldn't you have, if you didn't
initially, inquire on what, actually, were the family ties of this lady and man?  


Now you're in a position of having to clean up a big mess when a bit of restraint and more inquiry
could have avoided this whole situation in the first place.  So, could you tell me again, why are
we talking about this on the Gambia-L again?  Why did you post this, and further make things worse
by making a situation not only known to the Gambian community in this city but now to all of the
Net?  

Surely some on here know exactly what you're talking about and Inshallah, they'll have the
restraint to not make the names of the people involved in this known to all?

If you're wanting advice, well, my advice would be to do your best to diffuse the situation, and
to also recognize your hand in bringing this situation about in the first place.  And please don't
use the Qur'an to justify your actions!  You had no evidence, except this guy's word, that he was
related to this woman, and it would have been better for you to have made some inquiries before
you went and gave this lady's number to him.  Especially since you're aware that this issue of men
contacting ladies to initiate affairs has been a problem before!  


If you're wanting sympathy or for us to pat you on the back for trying to diffuse this situation,
sadly, that won't be forthcoming from me anyway, as I don't know all the information, and it seems
you had a hand in starting this unwanted contact anyway.  

Ginny

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