In a message dated 10/8/00 2:24:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<< Our mothers and grandmothers may not agree with us because they've lived
 their lives believing that it is part of our culture and tradition we must
 not change, but you'll be surprised what a little bit of education and
 dialogue can do.  During my visit to Gambia last year, I had a conversation
 with a mother who feels that if I give birth to a daughter, I must take her
 to Gambia for circumcision.  As liberated as I thought I am, you can imagine
 the look on my face as this question was dropped on my lap so unexpectedly;
 and I had to compose myself and prepare a response that would show this
 lovely mother what my decision was NEVER to do that.  At the end of our
 debate, she did not agree with me, but respected my decision without any
hard
 feelings.  I think we can make a lot of progress that way: take a stance and
 maintain your principles, but have respect for your co-debater on this issue
 -- in the final analysis, statistics will show who the winner is.

 Regards,


 Awa Sey
********************************
I also believe that this is precisely the only way that we can change some
aspects of our culture that are negative and harmful.Every generation
contributes to what is ultimately viewed as "our culture", and it is up to
each new generation to do their part to weed out the negative and
unproductive aspects of the culture, and to add a few positive aspects of
their own. The views and practices that the future generations will have
depends entirely on how we raise our sons and daughters today.

We do have a lot of respect for our elders, but if we find that they are
insisting on holding on to some practices that are harmful to us as a people
and a society, what we do is to just make sure we instill in our children ,
the will to say no to those practices, and we will surely watch their demise.

While some young ladies find themselves in the midst of people who will even
drag them to these events if they resist, I think that most young ladies can
successfully resist being subject to this degrading and painful experience
nowadays. The key to ending this practice lies in our hands as parents of
this present generation. Like the "say no to drugs" adage of the 80's here in
the U.S, we must teach our daughters to say no to this harmful practice. At
the same time, we must also organize support groups that will lend support to
those who may still encounter forces that will try to subject them to FGM
against their will.With a little effort, we will not have to worry about this
anymore.
 Have we not eliminated the arranged marriages and other negative aspects of
our culture that were the order of the day even in my generation? How well I
remember two distinct occasions when I was the subject of such an attempted
arrangement, and all I had to do was say no, and remain adamant, and I had
the support of one sole individual in the family, my aunt Ida Jallow, and
that was all the lifeline I needed to stand my ground. I was terrified
because my grandmother in particular was raining all sorts of words in my
ears about the lack of respect of this present generation, but in the end
when it was realized by all that I was going to stand my ground, the subject
was dropped, just like that.
I am sure our daughters and sisters can display the same strong will to
resist something that is harmful and senseless, and with the suport of
parents, sisters and others in the community, there is no way this practice
can survive.


Jabou Joh

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L
Web interface at: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/gambia-l.html
You may also send subscription requests to [log in to unmask]
if you have problems accessing the web interface and remember to write your full name and e-mail address.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------