I wrote part of this piece for a friend in The Gambia and then decided to share it with you to hear your own views, members of the "L".  I have been feeling very sad in the last few days thinking about the condition of Africa.  I realize my comments are probably politically shallow, but understanding is a process and not a fixed outcome, so I will get there eventually.

On Saturday night I cried for Africa while I watched a Montreal-based troop of dancers and singers originally from Rwanda perform on an outdoor stage. They opened their "act" with a poem describing their nature, their passion, their elegance and also by stating that they choose to put aside tribal and ethnic differences and to stand united as a people burning with the fire
of a flame they literally held high. I cried. I cried because the message was powerful, but also because I was struck by the beauty of this group of youths who likely witnessed all kinds of atrocities as children and yet have survived. I was moved simply thinking about the journey they must have had to make it to this country, the sacrifices, the losses, the sorrow and
the guilt. I cried because I wondered about their families. I cried thinking about how Canada must have transformed them and wishing that everyone could experience the unity we have in spite of our cultural differences, though we like to bitch about racism and other forms of divisiveness (did you hear what the mayor of Toronto said about Africans being cannibals during the negotiations for the next venue for the Olympics? I am deeply ashamed of this my fellow Canadian). I watched> this group dance with a joy I have rarely seen. I saw the peace they now benefit from in their eyes and wanted it to infect even me. I cried because I was so touched that these youth, who despite all their trials and tribulations rose above it all and generously shared their culture and beauty with a group of strangers.  I cried imaging how my Gambian friends would feel in their shoes.

Later, I went to see "Lumumba" a movie by Raoul Peck.  Have you seen it? It made me shudder with dread. The opening images were of two Belgians, drunk as a matter of survival, cutting up the bodies of Lumumba and his friend Thomas and then burning them with gasoline. Again, a flame image.  This time, a brutal one. I was devastated by the honesty of this movie,
and deeply troubled that it was not a piece of Hollywood fiction. I could not divorce myself from the images in the name of entertainment. Today I have more questions than answers about the future of Africa, based on what I observed in this movie.
I began to wonder if a pan-African state is a viable solution when differing ethnic groups in the same country cannot get along. Is this is the legacy the colonial masters have left behind?.   As I was talking to my husband about the movie I started wondering whether money is the ultimate solution. If the US, capitalists par excellence, were to offer an economic infrastructure in Africa that would ensure education and jobs, would you refute it on grounds of neo-colonialism? Capitalism seems to work in the US. Nobody has time to contemplate how strange or different theirneighbours are when they have a job to go to, bills to pay and things tobuy. Have I been brainwashed by the American dream too? Communism seems to have failed. What is the alternative? Mobuto benefited from the backing of the US... look at the lifestyle he led while his people were dying. What if he had decided to share the wealth instead of hoarding it for himself?  Howcould we be sure that corruption does not reign when foreign investors make their bids? What control mechanisms can ever work when people are not united? Now, I have come back to pan-Africanism as a solution... I do not know what to think anymore.

"I no longer have a borrowed soul. I no longer have borrowed thoughts or ideas. I no longer speak in a borrowed language." Do you know who said this? Sounds like a slave freed from captivity, but it is not... think about it.

I have also been considering my own role in this whole matter.  Why should a Canadian take such interest in the plight of Africans?  Perhaps people will suspect me of spying or infiltrating... It looks suspicious whereas it is genuine.  What am I doing? Is it my place to get involved?  At what point do I need to back off?  How best can I express my solidarity?
I read the Gambia-L listserv and note that Gambians that subscribe to this exchange forum are themselves terribly divided. In the last few days, it seems that all of you are simply bitching, insulting and challenging each other in the most childish way imaginable! So what if Jammeh gets ousted?  What if he mysteriously drops dead tomorrow? Who would replace him? Are
the Americans behind any military leader at the moment, like they were backing Mobuto? Who knows what games they are playing... Should any of you, like Lumumba, be chosen as the next Prime Minister of The Gambia, how would
you rule? What would your priority be? It seems like Lumumba failed because hewas naive. A true believer in African unity, he thought that the Katanga people could share the political platform with him, and that a military man could demonstrate fair leadership, when all the first president and Mobuto wanted was their own self-aggrandizement at the expense of the masses.
It looked to me as though Lumumba could not even begin to instate long-lasting political change, like reforming the educational system or improving health conditions, because he had to "baby-sit" in the transition from colonial to self-rule. Like a father, he had to tell his children to behave and stop fighting each other. The problem was, these "kids" felt they were better than him and had to ultimately eliminate him so they could continue to play.

Author Huxley of Roots, said that Africa "is a cruel country; it takes your heart and grinds it into powdered stone - and no one minds". The singer Stevie Wonder once addressed the UN and said, "South Africa is the land with tears in her eyes". I think this applies to the whole continent. I know I weep for her yet again tonight.

Maria

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L
Web interface at: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/gambia-l.html
You may also send subscription requests to [log in to unmask]
if you have problems accessing the web interface and remember to write your full name and e-mail address.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------