MEN STRIKE BACK


   FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE BASHING JOKES...



   How many men does it take to open a beer?
   None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you.

   Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
   Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be
   able to support you.

   Why do women have smaller feet than men?
   So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

   How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
   When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

   How do you fix a woman's watch?
   You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

   What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
   About five drinks.

   Why do men fart more than women?
   Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

   If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
   front door, who do you let in first?
   The dog. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

   Are all women alike?
   Yes - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

   What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
   A woman that won't do what she's told.

   I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

   I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt
   her.
   What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
   Divorced.

   What is bigamy?
   Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.

   Scientists have discovered a food to diminish a woman's sex drive by
   90%.
   It's called "Wedding Cake."
   Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
   I said, "Dust!"


   In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man
   and rested. Then God created Woman.
   Neither God nor Man has had any rest since.

   My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state
   troopers and a dog to get us apart.

   A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted."
   The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
   thing:
   "You can have mine."

   The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
   once.

   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
   with a baldhead and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.



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