Chickenheart Lionmouth Revisited

By Baba Galleh Jallow

Dr. Chickenheart Lionmouth, managing director of No Cough Enterprises, was a 
very special man in our little town. He was not only special because of his 
special qualities of mind, but also because he was simply one of the 
greatest guys ever to breath the airs of our little town. No wonder our 
common townsfolk, who had never beheld such dazzling qualities before, 
called him the great cock who, having no need to crow, cackled instead like 
a mother hen to get his wishes done. They also called him Yappagi, the meat 
that needs no cooking, and Gejjagi, the fish that needs no drying. Sometimes 
they even called him Mbotagi, the frog that does not jump! Such was our 
common townsfolks’ great admiration for our indomitable Dr. Chickenheart 
Lionmouth of the thunderous roar.

Dr. Chickenheart Lionmouth came from very humble backgrounds, but judging by 
the greatness of his industry and the great status that he had achieved 
thanks to his special qualities of limb, the great guy was now larger than 
life in our little town. Having struggled through primary and secondary 
school, Dr. Chickenheart Lionmouth attended the famous University of 
Nodegree, from where he graduated Summa Cum Laughter with a Bachelor of 
Robes in Braggarts. From there, our gallant genius went on to the famous 
University of Yokagi from where he clinched a Master of Herbs in Heehawlogy. 
So dazzling was his performance that he was admitted at Yokagi’s 
world-renowned Doctored program in Yokalogy. It was after he got his 
doctorate in Yokalogy that Dr. Chickenheart Lionmouth came back home to our 
little town to set up the now universally famous No Cough Enterprises. He 
was given a hero’s welcome befitting the greatest of kings and shortly 
entered into our little town’s Hall of Shame, which, in our own language 
Openspeak, means exactly what it means.

It was not at all surprising that the great Dr. Chickenheart Lionmouth soon 
became one of the greatest success stories in our little town. For in 
addition to being a business genius, our gallant Chickenheart Lionmouth was 
also a great poorator and a zoolantopist. It was on account of his impious 
and uncharitable nature that he became known as the Father of Demotion, a 
title he greatly cherished. The only difficulty our common townsfolk had 
with Dr. Chickenheart Lionmouth, which really was not a big problem, was 
that the great guy had a very bad temper and liked to tamper. When he got 
annoyed, his rage was so furious that even chickens and lizards ran to hide 
when they saw him coming. For at such unfortunate moments, our gallant 
Doctor would huff and pant and foam at the mouth and loudly wail and pull 
his hair. He would sniff and cough and loudly splutter, and make such 
guttural noises as would frighten not only chickens, lizards, and little 
children, but also some of our poor common townsfolk, who would rush 
headlong under their beds to avoid being swept away by the raging storm. The 
poor staff at No Cough Enterprises would be most petrified, sometimes 
running to hide under their chairs lest they further annoy the great boss by 
showing their ugly faces. For when he is angry, Dr. Chickenheart Lionmouth 
called everybody fool and liar and gave them a resounding slap if they dared 
to cross his path.

Then when his temper cools down a bit, Dr. Chickenheart Lionmouth would call 
a general meeting of the staff at No Cough Enterprises where he would set to 
harshly berating whoever the culprit was that allegedly made him mad. He 
would dwell on the shameful ingratitude of little nobodies who thought that 
they were wise and challenge anyone to a wrestling competition, reminding 
everybody that timey haleh, when he was young, they used to call him Ikolo, 
the great wrestler who threw down the jinns and cut off their many heads. 
“It is my kind heart that disturbs me,” he would regretfully fume, refusing 
to wipe off the think mucus that ran down his nostrils and gave him a truly 
frightening look. “Because the last time I got those fools, I wanted to deal 
with them. But they came scurrying on their knees, dragging themselves on 
their lying bellies and begging me for mercy. They came weeping and wailing 
and calling me Father of Demotion, praying that I forgive them. Then when I 
found it in my good heart to forgive them, they go about telling lies about 
me and calling me fool, and monkey. I will not tolerate that anymore!” He 
would bang his desk so hard that some of the staff would fall to the floor 
and cover their heads, thinking that it was a bomb!

Remembering the shameful ingratitude of those stupid blokes, Dr. 
Chickenheart Lionmouth would again burst into tears and ask his cronies to 
bring him some pepper, which he would furiously pour into his eyes to 
further express his rage. Then all the faithful cronies would run up to him 
and call him father, and beg him not to sprinkle any more pepper in his 
eyes, and to please pour some hot water on his head and in his eyes to cool 
his temper. Whereby Dr. Chickenheart Lionmouth would scrape his eyes with a 
toothbrush and loudly wail: “I do not cry for anything in this world! No one 
can make me cry! And if I wanted to, I will ban everybody from calling me 
Father of Demotion, and I would stop demoting those fools who come to work 
for me because they claim to love my ideas and my wisdom and all the good 
things that I do and that these jealous fools can never do. But now they go 
about telling lies about me only to come back to me, crawling on their 
knees, calling me Father of Demotion, saying, please father, you have shamed 
and demoted us but we still love you.” At which point all the staff and 
cronies at No Cough Enterprises would send a universal hail up to heaven and 
repeatedly call him Father of Demotion. And our gallant Doctor would proudly 
beam and munch his cheeks and kindly say, “okay, okay I forgive and I forget 
because I am the Father of Demotion. But I will not forgive any one who does 
not recognize me as such. Its-a-mad-day.”

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