How many of us would have applied?  Hilarious.

Soffie


  POSITION:
 Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy

       JOB DESCRIPTION:
       Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in
       an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
       communication and organizational skills and be willing to work
       variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and
       frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required,
       including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
       endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not
       reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

       RESPONSIBILITIES:
       The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
       temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
       repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
       and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case,
       this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying
       wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such
       as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck
       zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate
       production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan
       and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental
       outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
       embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety
       testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated
       devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the
       worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of
       the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
       janitorial work throughout the facility.

       POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
       Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for
       years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your
       skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

       PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
       None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
       continually exhausting basis.

       WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
       Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A
       balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption
       that college will help them become financially independent. When you
       die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this
       reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you
       could only do more.

       BENEFITS:
       While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
       reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
       this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and
       free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

       Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for
       everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are
       appreciated.

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