Bamba
  What a good stuff.

Abdoulie Jallow <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
  PRIME TIME WITH AJJ – DEMONS ON THE LOOSE

Abdoulie Jallow (BambaLaye)

Another day in New Gambia at the GRTS studios…

As HE Alhaji Dr. MMB AJJ walks into the studio, a raucous applause greets
him.

Dibba: Calm down! Calm down please! I know you're very excited to see HE
back on the program, but I am too. Calm down please…as you all know, for
the past week or so, we have all been living on the edge. Since HE
announced that his Protective Officer demons are on the loose, I don't
know about you but I go to bed at 7:30. I do not want to take chances to
be in the path of a vexed Protective Officer demon on the loose. So,
please welcome the one and only Dr. Alhaji MMB AJJ, the Commander-in-chief
of the visible and invisible armed forces of the Gambia!

Dibba: HE Alhaji Dr. MMB AJJ we are all so very much excited to have you
back on the program today. So, what have you been up to lately?

AJJ: Ehem! Simillahi waramani warayeem. Wa biring biring wa barang barang
wa fantang fantang. Ehem, Dibba, I must first greet my demons before I say
anything because you know, eh, they are different from us. So, I must seek
their permission first.

Dibba: So, what have you been up to your Excellency?

AJJ: Eh, I have been very busy. You know since I made the announcement
about my two most loyal officer demons, Officer Firring Firring and
Officer Farrang Farrang, I have not had much sleep. I have been busy
negotiating between them. You know when there is a family feud, what the
Mandingko's call faadingya, you cannot just sit and watch things escalate.
Eh, I have to negotiate and I think I made some progress but we are still
working on it.

Dibba: Wow! I must admit, I was taken aback when you called for the GRTS
State House crew for an emergency announcement. I mean I had all kinds of
scenarios running in my head. So what made you go public with the
negotiations, why didn't you keep it to you and Officer Fanding, I mean,
Officer Firring Firring and Farrang Farrang?

AJJ: You see Dibba; let me tell you something about my team of protective
officer demons. They are very secretive. They operate at night but
sometimes in the day, especially mid-day and in secret. So I decided to
announce to the whole world about Officer Firring and Farrang so that they
can come to the table so we can negotiate. I know if I leak their secret
out, they will listen to me. Also, I have to alert the people so that they
know that Officer Firring and Farrang are very dangerous and should take
precautions. You see how much I love Gambia. I love my people, so I advice
everyone to be in doors by 8 o'clock.

Dibba: So AJJ, when you said that if people do not vote for you the demons
will vote for you. Was that for real? I mean, now that you're telling us
you talk to demons. Did they vote?

AJJ: um…um you know I always told Gambians what I know is real. Do I look
like someone who fakes things? When I said the demons would vote for me, I
was not joking, but everyone laughed about it. Eh, they say democracy for
all citizens, the demons are citizens too. If people don't want this
country, the demons want AJJ to be president whether they like it or not.

Dibba: Ok it's time for a commercial break. When we come back, we continue
with HE MMB AJJ and his quest to negotiate with the demons on the loose.
Stay right there.

-Applause -

Dibba: But AJJ, I have to tell you, this story is hard to believe. No
disrespect, but you know ordinary people find it hard to believe you are
also Commander-in-chief of demons because we don't see them salute to you,
do they have uniforms?

AJJ: Ha! Ha! Ha! Dibba, you are very funny my friend. You think I will
joke about having special gifts. You think I will stand in front of the
whole world and lie about what I can do and what I know. You see, this is
what western education gets you. Our ancestors have been talking to these
demons for ages! They have been interacting with them since one thousand
years ago. I have been dealing with them since I was young. In fact,
Officer Firring and Farrang are my childhood friends.

Dibba: OK AJJ, do you mind sharing the reason for the dispute between the
Officers Firring and Farrang?

AJJ: About what? Let me tell you something Dibba. Gambians should be
happy to have a president like me who can negotiate between demons. I am a
true Pan-African; I am a man of action. I know people are saying all kinds
of lies about what happened but I will prove them wrong! You see Dibba,
eh, eh, I received a report from the NIA about the activities of Officer
Farrang Farrang so I had to send Officer Firring Firring to untangle the
puzzle for me. Ehe, ehe, so yes, OK, OK. I will take care of that very
soon, OK no problem. Sorry Dibba that was my other demon officers
reporting on some assignment.

Dibba: So what happened after the NIA report?

AJJ: I…I had to take action and reward Officer Firring for some assignment
he did so Officer Farrang was jealous. OK that is all I can say now
because I am not allowed to say more than that. You see, eh Dibba. We
operate on a different level here… I'm a special person. I am the only
president who can talk to them….

Dibba: So, when do you expect the negotiations to be over?

AJJ: Um...um…um… when there is problems like this, it takes me
thirty-three days and nights to resolve it but this time Officer Firring
is very upset. So you know, it depends on what conditions they set.
Dibba : OK, tell me how you do this…….

AJJ: Do what? I do lots of things in my day. Which one?

Dibba: How do you expect people to believe that you are a true Muslim when
you openly manifest Paganism?

AJJ: Ehe ehe, you see my friends this is what they say about loving your
culture. I am a true hero of my culture. My great grandfathers were doing
the same thing before I was born. Do you want me abandon that? Eh? Who
cares what is Pagan and what is not? I will deal with both my visible and
invisible Protective Officers. If you and the western people want to call
that Paganism that is their problem. You see Dibba, let me tell you
something. All the Imams know that I am more Muslim than anyone in this
country. My name is mentioned in the Holy Book (holding the Quran up).

Dibba : Ok it's time for another commercial break. When we come back, we
continue with HE MMB AJJ and his treatment of various diseases with the
help of demons and herbal concoctions. Do not go anywhere we will be right
back.

-Applause -

Dibba: OK, I want to move on to your cure for AIDS, HBP, Diabetes,
Barrenness etc, etc. Why don't you treat mental illness? I mean, Campama
is very busy right now.

AJJ: Dibba, I … I … had a mandate to treat only certain diseases. You
know, when you say someone has mental illness, it is only because you
don't understand them yourself. You people don't understand me sometimes
when I say some things or do some things but that does not mean I am
mentally ill. When I decide to carry my stick everywhere, or have my white
handkerchief in my hand or when I say some things, you think I am crazy.
Dibba: So MMB, are you saying that those at Campama are not mentally ill?

AJJ: Eh…. Dibba! The westerners are playing tricks on you all the time.
When they cannot feed all our people after taking away our resources, they
built Campama to pack all those who resist. They call them MAD people. Let
me tell what MAD stands for. It stands for Mad At Dem. The Europeans were
packing every one they are mad at and call them MAD. You see, Dibba these
people create all our problems.

Dibba: So, why are we still keeping them there in Campama?

AJJ: I will see what I can do my friend. May be there is a cure I can get.
I have to research that for seven days and nights. That will be an
assignment for one of my demons.

Dibba: Thank you AJJ I am sure the Campana inmates will appreciate your
benevolence in that regard.

AJJ: (throwing his hands in the air) aha! You got it. Ok great! OK Dibba
you see my other officers are very busy right now …

Dibba: We shall continue this conversation soon, because right now, I'm
not sure what is going on with you….

AJJ: Dibba, uh, obviously I have been very busy…...

Dibba: Thank you for taking the time to talk to us today AJJ.

AJJ: Any time Dibba, my friend, I have to run now they are waiting for
me….next time.

Dibba: (To the studio audience) And so we move ahead — optimistic about
our country, dedicated to its future and believing in the changes to come.
May God bless The Gambia…..thank you! ………….. (Applause).

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