Something funny my daughter sent me.
Enjoy.

Jabou


 From Chicken Soup for the College Soul ...

 There is no joy quite like a visit from your college kid
 after he's taken half a semester of Psychology 1.
 Nosirree.
 Suddenly you're living with Little Freud, and he's got your
 number.  With all this education, he now knows that a) your
 habit of washing the dishes after each meal is
 obsessive-compulsive, b) you smoke because you're orally
 fixated, and c) you're making terrible mistakes raising his
 younger brother.
 No behavior escapes Little Freud's scrutiny.  The simplest
 conversations take on profoud and incomprehensible meaning.
 Getting Little Freud out of bed in the morning, for
 example, suddenly becomes a control issue:
 "It's past noon," says the simple-minded mother.  "Why
 don't you get up?"
 "Mom," says Little Freud in a voice fraught with meaningful
 implication, "you're obsessing.  You shouldn't disempower
 me this way.  Why allow my behavior to affect your own
 sense of self?  Besides, I have to stay in bed for a while
 to experience the consciousness of my being when my being
 is in nothingness."
 "That's easy for you to say," says the simple-minded
 mother.  "But I say you're sleeping.  Now get up and help
 rake the leaves."
 "Classic transference," says Little Freud in such a way
 that the simple-minded mother can only conclude she must
 have a psychic ailment as repulsive as fungus.
 Little Freud also knows now that nothing is as simple as it
 might seem.  Calling him to dinner can set off an analysis
 of your childhood:
 "Dinner's ready," says Simple Mind.
 "Don't you think it's time you stopped taking your Oedipal
 rage out on me?" asks Little Freud.  "Just because you
 could never lure your father away from your mother is no
 reason to resent me."
 "What are you talking about?" asks Simple Mind.  "I said
 it's time to eat.  What does that have to do with Oedipus?"
 "In your unconscious, you associate food with pre-Oedipal
 gratification, which sets off a chain of associative
 thoughts leading straight to your rage, which you cannot
 acknowledge and, therefore, you transfer your hostility to
 me."
 "Be quiet and eat your dinner before it gets cold," says
 Simple Mind.
 "Aha!  says Little Freud, triumphant.  "You see?  Classic
 regression."
 Little Freud is also a skilled marriage counselor now that
 he's done so much studying:
 "I think it's time you two confronted your feelings,"
 Little Freud tells his parents, who are simple-mindedly
 enjoying a bottle of wine in front of the fireplace.
 "We can't.  We're playing cards," says Mr. Simple Mind.
 "Your mother and I have a policy against confronting our
 feelings and playing cards at the same time."
 "Classic avoidance," declares Little Freud.
 Little Freud is at his most eloquent, though, when he
 points out how wrong his simple-minded parents are about
 their method of raising kids:
 "You're not parenting him properly," says Little Freud of
 his younger brother.  "You're too permissive, probably
 because you're projecting your desire to be free of the
 shackles of your own stifled childhood."
 "What are you talking about?" says the simple-minded
 mother, who is getting pretty tired of asking Little Freud
 what he's talking about.
 "And he also seems to have a lot of rage," says Little
 Freud, plunging on.  "His id has taken over, and his
 super-ego has collapsed.  He seems to be entertaining some
 classic primordial fixations.  In fact, I think he wants to
 kill me."
 "He doesn't really want to kill you, dear," says Simple
 Mind.  "I've hired him to do it for me."
 "Classic projection," says Little Freud, disgustedly.
  ----------------------
 Amie Siebert
 [log in to unmask]

 "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
 Bill Watterson - Calvin and Hobbes
  >>

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