Dear Mr Kujabi
Thanks so much again for a job very well done! Honestly, you are one of the
most clever guys I've ever come across! You are really so clever that I know
not what to say! The question for me is - to say or not to say?!!! That is
the question!
I do really appreciate your brilliant critique which, this time around, has
not only captured the inner essence of my story, but also its hidden spirit
and open-ended matter. I hope you enjoy the remaining parts of this story.
And indeed, as you so very brilliantly put it, you have ruffled my feathers
so hard that they are all currently stiff and widely splayed, like so many
spears pointed at the four corners of the skies!! Please continue giving me
your brilliant citiques, so that I can find always find ways and means of
improving upon my writings and reaching higher heights. Once yet again,
thanks so much Mr Kujabi sir. I'm very highly pleased and impressed, and
more than the word honoured!! God bless.
Baba
>From: Ansumana Kujabi <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: LIFE IN OUR LITTLE TOWN - Part One(BETTER REFINED SATIRE:GOOD
> JOB THIS TIME)
>Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 08:41:49 -0000
>
>MY DEAR BABA GALLEH JALLOW:
>
>As you have already lamented earlier on, you were absolutely right that it
>paid off enormously to RUFFLE your feathers. This is chiefly due to the
>fact
>that this time around, you came up with a very brilliant SATIRE, and
>believe
>me, this comment is from the bottom of my heart, for my RUFFLING of your
>feathers is NOW tremendously benefiting every member of the L Forum,
>rather
>than creating confusion, misrepresentation, malaise and a very deep
>division
>amongst us all. Let me reassure you, I have a HOLLYWOOD STYLE of
>critiquing,
>and which has now paid off for us. Instead of PERSONAL SATIRIZING, you
>STYLE
>has thus changed and greatly improved this time around. Your this piece has
>SENSE OF DIRECTION and PINPOINTED ACCURACY to it. To state it more
>precisely, this time around, you have tailored, polished, sliced and
>positively altered the PRINCIPAL THEME of your satire from a PERSONAL to a
>more TRADITIONAL, ENVIRONMENTAL, CULTURAL, RELIGIOUS and POLITICAL THEMES.
>To further give weight to my critiquing, I have extracted my analyses from
>your first paragraph(see quotation below).
>
>In your first paragraph, you and BROTHER RENE have stroke similar cords OF
>CULTURAL SIGNIFICANCE. Whiles Brother Rene, in his excerpt, has vividly
>described SAMBA as a humble country boy who has been fortunate enough to
>have been educated and acquired a "White Man Job" in the City, and always
>far away from home, his father, PA GORGI, has been greatly concerned
>because
>he fears that since old age nears him and his health failing, when he dies
>their tradition and culture will be lost because his one and only Son,
>SAMBA
>is DRIFTING into "CAFE INTELLECTUALISM", and PA GORGI does not want that to
>happen.
>
>Baba, your first paragraph on the other hand, is highlighting the RELIGIOUS
>SIGNIFICANCE and NATURALNESS of the tradition PA GORGI is fighting
>tirelessly to protect and prevent from being diluted and forgotten totally.
>The important question is how are you able to accomplished this. You have
>approached this from three distinct angles: Religious perspective,
>Enviromental Perspective and Political Perspective (1) You have
>demonstrated
>that there is always a NORMAL and SERENE life style in the Villages no
>matter what WIND of CHANGE may blow through the Village, and there will
>always be a TRANQUIL atmosphere. As you have mentioned in the first
>paragraph:"Not even the greatest storms and tornadoes could disturb the
>smooth musical rhythm of life in our little town". The above sentence has
>clearly indicated the strong influence religion has on our local people,
>that is to say, they still deeply believe that GOD MAKES LEADERS,
>therefore,
>we should all be humble and have patience till God brings another leader
>for
>us. To put the above point into its proper context, what it means is that
>since God brought PRESIDENT JAMMEH to us, therefore, we should all be
>humble
>and have enough patience to wait till another leader emerges from God;
>despite all what Jammeh has put them through, and with all the TORNADOES of
>intimidation, harassment, torture and killings, life is still absolutely
>normal in the BABA GALLEH LITTLE TOWN.
>(2) From an enviromental point of view, Baba, you have drawn an
>incomparable
>environment between the Western World and your little town's narrow, dry
>and
>sandy surroundings. The narrow streets of your little village which has dry
>bushes and often windy due to the dry HAMATTAN WIND that blows from the
>SAHARA to the ATLANTIC OCEAN is quite distinct from the much wider paved
>streets in the Western World which are fully electrified, and only a snowy
>winter may temper with the power. (3) Finally, your Satire has stroke a
>political cord, which I had earlier on criticized you for, but
>unfortunately
>you misunderstood me. Your remaining paragraphs have exposed the pompous
>life style of the Politicians of our generation. These politicians enjoy
>big
>money, women and Wine upon Wine and driving fancy cars(Pajeros), without
>regard to human life.
>
>To conclude, Baba, my critiquing this time should reassure you that I did
>not mean to cause malaise or personal attacks the first time around, but
>instead, I wanted you to refocus your brilliant Satires on this kind of
>VERY
>FINE work of yours, rather than focusing on themes such as KHANTEI, JAHASAY
>ENTERPRISE, RHINEHART SOBER LOOK, ETC. Both you and RENE have been
>lamenting
>on similar themes, but have approached it from differing angles. Your
>situation makes me to wonder why AFRICAN INTELLECTUALS do not like tough
>and
>passionate critiquing, unlike their Western counterparts. Critiquing can
>only enhance your ability to face tougher and bit by bit harsher
>critiquing,
>and more importantly, it does encourage efficiency and effectiveness. To
>that end, I extend to you and Brother RENE, a sincere appreciation.
>
>Ausumana Kujabi:(THIRD-Truth Telling, Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility
>and
>Democracy)
>
>"Unlike all other towns, life in our little town was always normal. Not
>even
>the greatest of storms and tornadoes could disturb the smooth musical
>rhythm
>of life in our little town. Come hail or wind, rain or shine, our little
>town remained calm and serene, its life patterned along age-old traditions
>and established norms.
>The small streets of our little town were paved with air and marked by rows
>and rows of beautiful thorn bushes, sharp and pricking to the touch, which
>grew freely and lent an added tranquility to the atmosphere. Here and there
>were big trees under which were erected big wooden beds that served as
>meeting places for the learned among our common townsfolk. There under the
>cool shades of those mighty trees, they would discuss every subject under
>the sun and carry on their learned debates, day in, day out.
>
>
>
>>From: Omar Hatab <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list
>><[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: LIFE IN OUR LITTLE TOWN - Part One
>>Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2001 22:45:44 -0000
>>
>>LIFE IN OUR LITTLE TOWN - Part One
>>By Baba Galleh Jallow
>>
>>
>>Unlike all other towns, life in our little town was always normal. Not
>>even
>>the greatest of storms and tornadoes could disturb the smooth musical
>>rhythm
>>of life in our little town. Come hail or wind, rain or shine, our little
>>town remained calm and serene, its life patterned along age-old traditions
>>and established norms.
>>The small streets of our little town were paved with air and marked by
>>rows
>>and rows of beautiful thorn bushes, sharp and pricking to the touch, which
>>grew freely and lent an added tranquility to the atmosphere. Here and
>>there
>>were big trees under which were erected big wooden beds that served as
>>meeting places for the learned among our common townsfolk. There under the
>>cool shades of those mighty trees, they would discuss every subject under
>>the sun and carry on their learned debates, day in, day out.
>>Society in our little town was divided into several distinct strata. Right
>>at the peak of the social pyramid perched our most prominent bigwigs, the
>>fat-potbellied moneybags who controlled the strings of all our bulging
>>purses and drove around in brand new Pajeros and other expensive cars.
>>These
>>were the Smoothface Beevys and Fatcheek Rattys, the Tonton Luhatis and
>>Jelyeb Lebatis, the really great names whose mere utterances activated the
>>juicy glands of our common townsfolk. Nicknamed the untouchables, these
>>our
>>most prominent bigwigs led a life of ease and plenty. They led what was
>>commonly known in our little town, as ‘flamboyant lifestyles.’
>>The favourite past time of our famous moneybags was to ride their fattened
>>mares at the golden dusk of our little town, waving their flywhisks at our
>>amazed common townsfolk as they trotted gaily by, and letting out small
>>shrieks once in a while, so as not to be mistaken for impersonators. For
>>of
>>late, some of our dishonest common townsfolk with no money and little
>>brains
>>had taken to riding stolen mares along the streets of our little town,
>>pretending to be untouchable moneybags so as to be able to dupe one
>>innocent
>>victim or the other. But now, with their special shrieks, the real
>>moneybags
>>could be distinguished from the fake ones.
>>A rung down the top of our social ladder were our less prominent bigwigs,
>>the Toughlip Weakys and Bigman Smallys, the Wahyeb Diyamus, Nehal
>>Lambalehs
>>and Momkai Degalas whose defining characteristic was their nearness to the
>>real moneybags. They made up the administrative cadre of the prominent
>>council of our little town. Owing to their fabled garrulous cleverness and
>>nimble minds, they were also the chief advisers in many a giant business
>>in
>>our little town. These had no fattened mares to ride in our golden
>>sunsets,
>>but they owned beautiful Japanese and Chinese cars, which they loved to
>>slowly drive before our famous moneybags, honking their horns and waving
>>their left hands out the windows to make way for their prominent bosses.
>>Their favourite past time was to sit around our prominent moneybags,
>>listening to tall tales of gallantry and exploits, and giving advice where
>>needed and even where not needed. They were truly, the most spectacular
>>lot
>>in the social cocktail of our little town.
>>Next on the social ladder, almost parallel to our less prominent bigwigs,
>>were the quiet ones of our little town: the Norpil Degalas and Fangkung
>>Mofiseshs, whose defining characteristic was silence, but who nevertheless
>>contributed immensely in making our little town what it was: A lively hub
>>of
>>exciting activity that was the pride of the centuries.
>>
>>
>>_________________________________________________________________________
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