I hope itz taken in the spirit itz written in. Just a Light-hearted
joke!!
Thanx
Michelle Parker
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
Resent-Date: Wed, 22 Nov 2000 14:08:08 -0000
Resent-From: "JACKIE SNOOK" <[log in to unmask]>
Resent-To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 17:50:34 -0500
From: Tim Snook <[log in to unmask]>
To: Jacqueline <[log in to unmask]>,ANTHONY BULL
<[log in to unmask]>,Hilary Anderson
<[log in to unmask]>,"Dave Burke"
<[log in to unmask]>,Steve Tubb
<[log in to unmask]>,"Accounting"
<[log in to unmask]>
-------------Forwarded Message-----------------
From: "Simon J.Upton", INTERNET:[log in to unmask]
To: , INTERNET:[log in to unmask]
, INTERNET:[log in to unmask]
, INTERNET:[log in to unmask]
, INTERNET:[log in to unmask]
, tim_snook
Date: 16/11/100 04:37 PM
RE: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
govern yourselves,
we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective
today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
over all states,
commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not
fancy. Your new
prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who
have until now
been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a
minister for
America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate
will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of
you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following
rules are introduced
with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up
"aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just
how wrongly
you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your
vocabulary to acceptable
levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words
interspersed with
filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
inefficient form
of communication. Look up "interspersed".
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
It really isn't
that hard.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
good guys.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only
after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
of football.
What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The
2.15% of you
who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have
noticed that no
one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to
play it, and
should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you
played with
the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed
to play rugby
which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping
for a rest
every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
We are hoping
to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give
you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a
world outside
your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been
the bad guys.
"Merde" is French for "shit".
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
national holiday,
but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
own good.
When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving s crazy.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Simon J. Upton
http://www.sjupton.com
_________________________________
----------------------- Internet Header --------------------------------
Sender: [log in to unmask]
Received: from c004.sfo.cp.net (c004-h023.c004.sfo.cp.net
[209.228.13.40])
by spdmgaac.compuserve.com (8.9.3/8.9.3/SUN-1.9) with SMTP id XAA18553
for <[log in to unmask]>; Wed, 15 Nov 2000 23:37:12 -0500 (EST)
Received: (cpmta 3943 invoked from network); 15 Nov 2000 20:37:11 -0800
Date: 15 Nov 2000 20:37:11 -0800
Message-ID: <[log in to unmask]>
X-Sent: 16 Nov 2000 04:37:11 GMT
Received: from [198.240.130.75] by mail.sjupton.com with HTTP;
15 Nov 2000 20:37:11 PST
Content-Type: text/plain
Content-Disposition: inline
Mime-Version: 1.0
To: [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask],
[log in to unmask], [log in to unmask],
[log in to unmask]
From: "Simon J.Upton" <[log in to unmask]>
X-Mailer: Web Mail 3.7.1.6
Subject: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L
Web interface at: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/gambia-l.html
You may also send subscription requests to [log in to unmask]
if you have problems accessing the web interface and remember to write your full name and e-mail address.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
