My Dear Assan, I am so glad to finally hear from you even if it is e-mail. I thank God everyday for giving you the strenght that you have to face the pain that has been visited upon your young life. trust me I feel much better just knowing that you are able to write me. I had written you and Malleh earlier and sent it to his friend's email address. Sigga has however told me that he has started a new job at Gamtel and that he might not have the time to go check that e-mail. I would like to know when he has his e-mail account set up at gamtel so I can communicate with him personally. Assan, I don't want you to have any misgivings about my motivations, emotions, and decisions. I don't ever want to do anything that would bring you harm and enxiety in any way; not especially now. I will take into consideration all that you have said and pray that I will have the strength if I were ever in your position. Trust me, my decision to leave school at this time was arrived at after a lot of soul searching and countless sleepless nights. i have been walking around like a zombie (walking dead) and going through the motions of everyday life. It's been too long since the last time I could find any meaning in my everyday life. If it is me getting my Master's degree that you are worried about, I promise I will come back to school and even get my Doctorate if I so deem it neccessary in the future. All my superiors, colleagues, and professors over here understand and I have a promise of a standing offer to come back and finish whenever am ready to in the future. At this point, neither my heart nor my mind is in the work that I am doing. I could go through the motions of getting my Masters Degree right now but it would be meaningless to me at the end of the day. It used to be that all I had to worry about was whether you would like the shoes I sent you or whether the clothes would fit you. I used to hope that i would be able to give you all the things and advantages that I didn't have growing up. I never had any brother in a position to send me things and look after and out for me. I wanted to give you all the things I never had. I wanted you to never have to worry about all those things I had to go through. Our problem today, however, is much bigger than I could have ever imagined. Anything that I had ever done or would do is hopelessly inadequate. See, we had a chance to stand up to the authorities in the Jawara era and we didn't. That could have averted the present situation. There was a chance of atleast paying for you and the other boys' medical fees and keeping you all at least in Egypt or bringing you to the US, and we didn't take advantage of it. If only we had paid more attention to the details and kept a better virgill, the present predicament could have been avoided. See, it is no longer enough to be simply able to be reactive to situations that develop, but to be also proactive, visionary, and anticipative. We must have a concerted effort and and a clear plan of action for just not now, but also the future. Anyone telling me not to leave school would be akin to me telling you not to do what in your heart you truly belief is right. It would be like me telling you guys not to stand up against those cowardly thugs who shot you and your colleagues, or not to go to the aid of your fallen comrades since you would put yourself in danger. I leave you with those words which shall be of no consolation or healing balm to you, your wounds, and your fallen comrades. If anything, you are my inspiration. Your Brother, Njaga Jagne, @large for now In Mississippi. _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L Web interface at: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/gambia-l.html You may also send subscription requests to [log in to unmask] if you have problems accessing the web interface and remember to write your full name and e-mail address. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------