For those who care for humor... >################################################################ >News of the Weird(tm) by Chuck Shepherd >2000(c), Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved. The name >News of the Weird is a registered trademark of Chuck Shepherd. > >The News of the Weird(tm) e-mail service is provided by >http://www.newsoftheweird.com > >To Unsubscribe/Subscribe to this list, visit ><http://www.newsoftheweird.com/subscriptions.html> >################################################################ >Originally published 10.01.00 > >News of the Weird(.660) > >LEAD STORIES > >The Wishes of the Fetus: On Sept. 6, the Ohio Supreme Court rejected a >lawsuit by a 7-year-old girl with spina bifida, who had sued her parents' >doctors because she wanted to have been aborted (since the doctors knew she >would have birth defects). On the same day, in Attleboro, Mass., Judge >Kenneth >Nasif ordered a pregnant woman held in custody until she gives birth >because >he feared that she, because of her religion, might decline medical >attention >if she experienced complications; Nasif said he could "sense" the unborn >child >saying to him, "I want to live. I don't want to die like my brother (a >previous victim of the woman's religion-based medical neglect) did." > >In August, Elsie Holdren, 68, a security officer working on contract at a >courthouse in Viera, Fla., was transferred by her company to a courthouse >in >nearby Melbourne because her superiors thought she was too courteous. "Due >to >your caring and giving nature," wrote Holdren's supervisor (with Weiser >Security Services in Orlando), "you are compromising your position as a >security officer. (Being caring and giving) is not a job requirement, nor >is >it what you are paid to do." > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Lone-Star Justice > >The mentally retarded Felipe Rodriguez spent 13 months in jail in Swisher >County, Texas (near Amarillo), after being accused of a minor theft, >largely >because his court-appointed defense attorney forgot about him until a >Dallas >Morning News reporter pestered her about the status of the case. (Rodriguez >was released in August.) And a June New York Times report on veteran >court-appointed defense lawyer Ronald G. Mock chronicled his career-long, >mediocre representation of a series of now-executed men, including June >executee Gary Graham, who was convicted based on one fleeting, nighttime >eyewitness identification, which Mock neither challenged nor seriously >investigated. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >The Litigious Society > >* Robert Jones of Adel, Ga., filed a lawsuit in Atlanta in June against the >maker of Liquid Fire drain cleaner after the stuff oozed out of Jones' >homemade container all over his legs, causing "extensive, excruciating >burns >and destruction of flesh." Actually, Liquid Fire comes in a spill-proof >container, but Jones was skeptical of its sturdiness and thus poured the >contents into his own, "safer" container (from which it eventually >spilled). >Thus, Jones' legal theory is that Liquid Fire's original package somehow >created the impression of flimsiness, which therefore forced Jones to pour >the >contents into his own container. > >Two years ago, Javier Polo, 25, filed a lawsuit in Aviles, Spain, >demanding that his mother, Maria Delores Ray, 54, be ordered to support him >financially while he is out of work. Recently, according to a May London >Observer story, a judge ruled for Polo, ordering Ray to pay him 15 percent >of >her salary (about $192 a month) despite the fact that he does not even live >with her. (The parents are divorced; he lives with his father; but she has >to >pay because she earns more than the father.) > >In July, Tang Weijiang, 29, filed a lawsuit in Shanghai, China, against >Canon Inc. because one of the Japanese company's advertising CD-ROMs left >him >in mental distress, which he said was deliberate, just one more act in a >centuries-long campaign of disrespect by Japanese people and companies >against >the Chinese. The specific act that caused Tang such anguish was a passage >on >the CD-ROM text implying that China, Taiwan and Hong Kong were separate >countries. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Latest Rights > >Parents in Benicia, Calif., were complaining, according to a June San >Francisco Chronicle report, of the public library's policy of denying them >access to the names of books their children (regardless of age) have >checked >out. California law generally provides for confidentiality of government >records, but some libraries enforce that more strictly than others. The >Benicia library makes an exception only if a book is overdue, so that >parents >can look for it at home. > >Australian masseuse Carol Vanderpoel, 52, believing that all she knew how >to cure were physical aches and pains, sued her former employer, the Blue >Mountains Women's Health Centre in Katoomba, which had required her also to >listen to her clients' psychological problems during massages and to >counsel >them, which she said left her severely depressed. In June, a judge in New >South Wales District Court awarded her about $17,000 in damages. (Among the >problems that grossed her out were a client's confession of performing >euthanasia on her husband and another woman's having been assaulted with a >chain saw). > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Latest Rages > >The following people apparently get really set off by the following things: >Mark Adam Yazzie, 26 (got into an argument with his brother-in-law about >the >merits of rap music vs. rock and ran him over with a truck; Santa Rosa, >Calif., June). Jane Graham, 77 (pointed a butcher knife at a neighbor man's >groin and threatened to "cut it off" because he was playing his stereo too >loud; Winnipeg, Manitoba, July). Gerard Corbo, 56 (at his son's wedding, >started a fistfight when a guest referred to the groom by the wrong first >name; Westlake, Ohio, June). > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >In Their Own Words > >Grandmother Karren Kinsel, head of the office that regulates content on >vanity >license plates in Illinois ("WORKSUX" rejected; "BI DAD E" OK), explaining >to >a Chicago Tribune reporter in July what qualifies her to rule on whether >certain applications are in poor taste: "You take some people, they just >don't >have a dirty mind. Some of my staff doesn't. But I do, kind of." > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Updates > >When News of the Weird first mentioned Summum (in 1988), the Salt Lake City >religious organization had just introduced its mummification alternative to >burials and cremations, charging $7,000 to preserve a body and an >additional >$18,000 to create a bronze statue, according to founder Corky Ra. As of >June >2000, according to an Associated Press story, Summum is still looking to >make >its first human mummy (it has done several pets), although 137 people have >made deposits toward the current prices of $12,000 to preserve and $36,000 >(and up) for statues (plus transportation costs and mausoleum space). Corky >Ra's preservation process includes soaking the body in secret fluids, >applying >lanolin, polyurethane rubber and fiberglass bandages. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Least Competent Criminals > >A 17-year-old boy was arrested in Loomis, Calif., in July after he was >unsuccessful in what might have been an attempt to emulate the notorious >"Rooftop Robber," who had burglarized more than 40 businesses in California >and other states by entering through roofs (and who was captured in May). >Unlike the original, the 17-year-old crashed through a false ceiling in his >first job, broke a sink standing on it trying to climb out, then made it to >a >false ceiling and crawled to an adjacent store, but fell through that >ceiling, >too, injuring his ankle, and then finally, on his way out, tripped the >burglar >alarm and had police waiting for him. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Also, in the Last Month ... > >An IRS advisory opinion declared that the parents of a still-kidnapped >child >must stop taking the dependent's exemption while the child is missing. >Scientists in India discovered a new chili, whose burn worsens with water >and >which is 50 percent hotter than the previous world's-hottest chili. A >deceased's family sued Forest Lawn cemetery over a bad embalming, though >the >family admitted that park employees did work diligently to swat flies off >of >the open casket during the memorial service (Los Angeles). A robber >pistol-whipped a pizza deliverer, causing the gun to discharge and fire a >fatal shot at the robber's 17-year-old partner (Nashville). > > Thanks This Time to Jason Rule, Graham Thomas, Paul Blumstein, Ralph >Anderson, Nick Carter, Gary Anderson, and Frank Williams, and to the News >of the Weird Senior Advisors Gaal Shepherd Crowl, Paul Di Filippo, Geoffrey >Egan, sam Gaines, Ivan Katz, Steve Lauria, Barbara McDonald, Matt Mirapaul, >and Jim Sweeney, and to the News of the Weird Chief Correspondents Paul >Bogrow, Bob Brown, Michael Colpitts, Lance Ellisor, Harry Farkas, Fritz >Gritzner, Ginger Katz, Wolf Kirchmeir, Myra J. Linden, Bob McCabe, Victor >McDonald, Kerry O'Conner, Jerry Pohlen, Yvonne Pover, Larry Ellis Reed, the >great Chip Rogers, Tom Slone, H. Thompson, Bruce Townley, Barbara Tyger, >and Elyse Verse, and to Outstanding Weird News Reporters Gary Abbott, Jamie >Anderson, Bob Bayer, Jenny Beatty, Herb Jue, Scott Langill, Tim Maloney, >Allen Pasternak, Lee Sechrest, Maurine Taylor, Marty Turnauer, Willard >Wheeler, Mark Weiss, and Jerry Whittle. > _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. 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