For those who care... >Originally published 10.08.00 > >News of the Weird(.661) > >LEAD STORIES > >A New York appeals court ruled in July that a 53-year-old, >serial-plastic-surgery patient, who became dissatisfied with her >tucked-and-tightened body after 12 operations over a seven-year-period, >could >sue her doctor for malpractice, despite her consent to all surgeries, >because >she might suffer from the disorder that causes a person to think his body >is >ugly. (Doctors contacted by the New York Observer wondered which, if any, >of >their patients are totally free of the disorder.) The complaining patient >has >had work done on her nose, eyelids, chin, eyebrows, flanks, thighs, knees, >breasts and tummy. > >Central Illinois farmer Dan Aeschleman recently converted his land to a >more lucrative use: attracting foxes and then selling their urine in >pump-spray containers ($11.95 for 16 oz.) to landowners to keep nuisance >animals away with the "presence" of a predator. According to a September >report in The Pantagraph newspaper of Bloomington, Ill., Aeschleman says >the >tricky part -- getting the non-domestic foxes to urinate in an orderly >fashion >and then collecting it all (10,000 gallons a year) -- is a "trade secret." > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Revoke Their Parenting Licenses! > >According to Martinsville, Ind., prosecutors, Judy Kirby, 31, mother of 10, >intentionally killed four of them in March after she drove into oncoming >traffic for more than two miles and struck a minivan (also killing three of >its occupants); her doctors say they will testify at her upcoming trial >that >she suffered from postpartum depression and should not be punished. And >Jeane >Newmaker, 46, was charged in Golden, Colo., in September with child abuse >for >going along with a "therapy" in which four practitioners squashed her >10-year-old adopted daughter to death; the "therapists" were "rebirthing" >the >child (supposedly to compensate for an abusive biological mother) by >getting >her to simulate escaping the womb, but they accidentally suffocated her >despite her more than 50 pleas for help over a 70-minute session. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >The Continuing Crisis > >A highlight of the East Finley Summer Festival in Claysville, Pa., in >July was the return of the popular "chicken-flying contest" after a 10-year >hiatus. As explained by the Observer-Reporter newspaper of Washington, Pa., >chickens are placed in ordinary mailboxes, which are then abruptly opened >with >a toilet plunger, which somehow sends them flying hundreds of feet, with >the >longest flight winning first prize. During chicken-flying's hiatus, said >Festival sponsors, cow-patty bingo was featured but was not nearly as >exciting. > >The Al Salam Mosque Foundation filed a $6.2 million federal lawsuit in >August against Palos Heights, Ill., which had reneged on a promise to pay >the >Muslim group $200,000 to change its mind about buying a local building and >converting it to a place of worship. The city council had made the cash >offer, >reportedly, because some council members preferred not to have such a >prominent Muslim presence in the town. Then, when the Foundation accepted >the >cash offer, the Palos Heights mayor vetoed it, complaining that the offer >was >an "insult" to the Muslims. > >Relieving the Doctor Shortage: According to an April Los Angeles Times >report, imposter "Dr." Adam Litwin roamed UCLA Medical Center with impunity >for six months last year, chatting it up with "colleagues" and keeping >himself >busy, being discovered only when a pharmacist reported an irregularity with >a >prescription. And "physician's assistant" imposter Gary Lee Stearley >received >excellent reviews from several doctors at Mercy Hospital, Pittsburgh, Pa., >in >June before being detected; he had previously "worked" hospitals in >Seattle, >Richmond and Washington, D.C. > >No Substitute for a Loyal Dog: Sevier County (Tenn.) sheriff's dog Kysor >was praised in a July Knoxville News-Sentinel report as so faithful that he >withstood a stab wound to the head from a fleeing suspect, hard enough that >the blade broke off, in order to maintain his grip. However, after the man >plunged the knife in, he tried to sic his own dog on the weakened Kysor, >but, >according to a deputy, "He whistled for him, but his dog wouldn't come." > >Forget About Asking Him to Consider a Trigger Lock for His Gun: In June, >a federal grand jury in Springfield, Mo., indicted Todd Morman Murray, 27, >on >charges that he stole 45 pounds of explosives from a chemical plant and >"hid" >them in his children's playhouse. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Humans Disrespecting Trains > >A young man suffered a broken arm when he was walking so close to railroad >tracks that a passing train violently knocked his surfboard out of his >hands >(San Clemente, Calif., June). And a 25-year-old woman lost the toes on her >right foot when she crawled under a slow-moving train as a shortcut to the >correct platform (Mount Prospect, Ill., July). And an inebriated man's life >was saved by his wife, who pulled him just in time from the path of a >speeding >train after he had lingered on the tracks to make an obscene gesture at the >conductor (Trevor, Wis., June). > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Lesson to Kids: Be a Total Screw-Up, Make Millions! > >According to news reports in July and August, Mack W. Metcalf, 42, of >Florence, Ky., has led a dismal life that included frequent drinking >binges, >some DUI and other traffic charges, drug selling, eviction for failure to >pay >rent, and a debt of $31,000 in back child support. However, in July, he won >a >$34 million lump-sum jackpot in the Kentucky Lottery. (His haplessness >continues: Shortly after he was paid, he handed a woman $500,000 as a gift, >but later realized he was drunk and has now sued to get the money back.) > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Recurring Themes > >The Classic Middle Name (all-new): Arrested for killing his roommate (San >Diego, Calif., August): Aryan Wayne Duntley. Arrested for killing a young >neighbor girl (Oilton, Okla., August): Robert Wayne Rotramel. Sentenced for >murdering and beheading a 20-year-old woman (Orange, Texas, July): >Christopher >Wayne Gregory. Application for DNA testing rejected in a murder case >against >him (Illinois, August): Randall Wayne Stevens. Convicted in the murders of >five people at a car wash (Irving, Texas, September): Robert Wayne Harris. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Least Justifiable Homicides > >Killed over Access to Mating: Edward William Heckman, 58, was charged in >July >near Jonesboro, Ga., with killing his wife after she refused to have sex >with >him. Baby sitter Robert Cooper, 22, was convicted in June in Calgary, >Alberta, >of killing two young boys because they hindered his attempted seduction of >their mother. A man in his 20s allegedly killed 11 people with an Uzi at a >Bogota, Colombia, nightclub in June after rejection by a woman. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Also, in the Last Month . . . > >Singapore's leading newspaper published a how-to guide to >having sex in cars, in support of the government's campaign to raise the >birth rate. The mayor of a French resort town, which has no cemetery >vacancies and a restrictive land-use law, prohibited dying except by people >with burial space (Le Levandou). The Supreme Court of New Hampshire ruled >that a candidate for office had the right to parade on the street dressed >as a penis, because he was commenting on the political system. > >Thanks This Time to Jason Bowman, Robert Jacobs, Kerry Flynn, L. Stulz, >William A. Morgan, Lee Nichols, John Cox, Ritchie Stoner, Greg Lief, Allan >Morris, Bob Hawley, David Lips, and R.H. Seidman, and to the News of the >Weird Senior Advisors and Chief Correspondents. _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. 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