some funny stuff... >News of the Weird(.666) > >LEAD STORIES > >The Alberta Ferretti fashion house recently introduced, in New York >and London, self-described "gorgeous pieces" made from hamster fur, >including >a reversible multicolored-fur/camel-leather coat (about $6,000) and a skirt >suit ($6,300), a patchwork design in which the hamster pelts appear simply >laid side-by-side and end-to-end. The London Ferretti store told The >Express >newspaper in late October that it had sold 11 of its 12 suit jackets (a >size >10 remained). > >Four weeks after admonishing the government for its treatment of >scientist Wen Ho Lee, U.S. District Judge James A. Parker scolded federal >prosecutors for demanding too harsh a sentence against a convicted New >Mexico >perjurer, pointing out that the prosecutors' boss, President Clinton, had >asked for leniency for his own false testimony in the Paula Jones case. The >New Mexico perjurer, Ruben Renteria Sr., 49, was convicted of lying about >consenting to be searched, for which Judge Parker imposed a 15-month >sentence >rather than the five years the government wanted; President Clinton sought >leniency and received no jail sentence but was fined $90,000 and is >fighting >to keep his Arkansas license to practice law. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >They Bought Room Freshener by the Truckload > >Ralph Carlone, 48, was charged with corpse abuse in July for failing to >report >his parents' deaths (his mother's, two weeks before; his father's, 11 years >earlier) and continuing to live with their bodies inside the Akron, Ohio, >home >he shared with them. And in September, a judge in Phoenix acquitted Frank >A. >Martinez, 71, of killing his wife in 1987; Martinez had continued to live >with >her body in their trailer home until 1998, when a suicide attempt brought >police, who found the corpse. (Martinez's neighbors had long complained of >the >smell, but he managed to convince them merely that a dead cat had been >buried >underneath the home.) > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Compelling Explanations > >Rev. Marvin Munyon of the Family Research Forum (Madison, Wis.) told >parents at a September seminar at the Eau Claire Gospel Center how to >administer the loving and supportive corporal punishment demanded in the >Bible: "You spank them right here on the gluteus maximus, which God made >for >that purpose." Spanking should begin by age 2, he said, and used properly, >it >will build self-esteem because it lets children know they are loved. > >A strippers' club in Hove, East Essex, England, applied for a license >variance in September, asking for exemption from the current >no-touching-the-dancers rule because it discriminates against customers who >are blind, in that they would not have equal opportunity to experience the >show unless they could touch. Dancers were said to approve the idea, if >limited to bona fide blind people. > >The Florida Court of Appeals in September turned down lawyer Philip >G. Butler's challenge to his bribery conviction. Butler had represented >himself at trial and lost, and then claimed on appeal that the reason he >lost >was that he had failed to inform himself adequately that acting as his own >lawyer was foolish. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Crises in the Workplace > >The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission announced in July that an >employee fired for his obsessive belief in the validity of "cold fusion" >can >sue the employer for "religious" discrimination. As long as an employee has >a >seriously held conviction that in his own value system he regards as >"religious," he is protected under federal law, even though the vast >majority >of physicists believe "cold fusion" is bogus. The petitioner, Paul A. >LaViolette, worked at the U.S. Patent Office, but there was no evidence >that >he was assisting in the patenting of bogus technologies. > >"Bus driver" Darius McCollum, 35, was profiled in The New York Times >in August after his 19th arrest for impersonating a city transit worker. >Said >McCollum: "I am not insane. I (just) like the (bus) activity. I like the >noise. I like the people who work there." Said one official, "(W)hat this >guy >does is kind of wacky, but he is very much on the ball." McCollum >apparently >spends much time on the grounds talking to bus and train employees at all >levels and is well-versed in transit procedures and techniques. Said >McCollum: >"To tell you the truth, I wish they would just (hire me). It would be a lot >easier." > >In August, the New Hampshire Supreme Court OK'd worker compensation >payments to a state employee, for "work-related" depression, even though >the >cause of the depression was merely that she had gotten bad performance >reviews. The state appeals board acknowledged that the employee, Gail >Sirviris-Allen, had been justifiably cited for inaccurate work and a bad >attitude. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Driving While Involved > >Lucrecia Ortuno, 30, was charged in August with injuring her 8-month-old >son >in a car crash in Houston; according to police reports, she was driving >while >breastfeeding him. And Kenneth Herron, 40, was charged with manslaughter in >August in Little Rock, Ark., after his car crossed the center line and >collided with another car; according to police, Herron was driving (with >his >knees) while preparing his crack cocaine. And a 27-year-old woman was >killed >when she lost control of her car on I-75 near Atlanta in August; according >to >witnesses, she was driving while applying makeup. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Update > >Three months ago, News of the Weird referred to laws in Alabama, Texas and >Georgia (until May, Louisiana was on the list) that banned the sale of >products whose primary purpose is to stimulate the genitals. In October, >the >U.S. Court of Appeals upheld the constitutionality of Alabama's law, and in >August, the Austin Chronicle reported on how Texas sex shops are coping >with >that state's law (by legally selling "anatomically correct condom education >model" dildos). And at press time, the Augusta (Ga.) Commission had a >license-revocation action pending against Lucy's Love Shop for violating >that >state's version of the law. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Least Competent Criminals > >Federal grand juror Mark Vincent Hinckley, 37, part of the panel that had >just >voted secret indictments against an alleged Denver drug dealer, was >arrested >in August after he went to the dealer's office and attempted to sell him >information about the government's case, for $50,000. Hinckley had >apparently >forgotten some of the evidence that he had just heard: that the government >had >bugged the alleged dealer's office. Thus, Hinckley's proposition was >recorded >in full. The dealer's indictment had to be dismissed because of Hinckley's >misconduct, but Hinckley himself was indicted a few days later. > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Also, in the Last Month ... > >In a midday public demonstration, three martial-arts masters, without using >their hands, pulled a truck containing 80 people 12 inches with ropes >attached >only to their penises (Taipei). A divorce-court judge awarded the family >home >to the two kids (ages 11 and 13), allowing the mother three weeks' >visitation >a month and the father one week (Victoria, British Columbia). USAirways >admitted that it had allowed a 300-pound pig to ride in the first-class >aisle >on a flight from Philadelphia to Seattle, in the belief that it was a >customer's emotional equivalent of a seeing-eye dog. Two female prisoners >and >their boyfriends were arrested for drug-partying at the South Dakota >governor's mansion (during the first family's absence), where the women had >work-release jobs on the kitchen staff. > _____________________________________________________________________________________ Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L Web interface at: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/gambia-l.html You may also send subscription requests to [log in to unmask] if you have problems accessing the web interface and remember to write your full name and e-mail address. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------