I try to simplify my answers to make it easy for the average John or jane Doe like me to digest .
May God bless you and have a nice day
Habib
Hello, have a nice day!! >From: Musa Amadu Pembo <[log in to unmask]> >Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list <[log in to unmask]> >To: [log in to unmask] >Subject: Question for sister Jabou Joh/Habib Ghanim(For Brother Yahya Camara) >Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 09:14:52 +0000 > >For the attention of brother Yahya Camara/Members, >Al-salaamu alaykum wa rahmat-Allaahi wa barakaatuhu (Peace be upon >you, >and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings). >Thanks to sister Jabou Joh and Brother Habib Ghanim for helping the >brother >clarify certain things in his mind regarding our religion,it is this >in mind >that I am sending the following questions and answers session on >Plural >marriages in Islam.I will be sending a similar one on wills and >inheritance,which brother Habib and sister Jabou has touched on on >earlier >postings.This is meant to add to our undertsanding.I hope you find >it >useful. >Question: >I was really into becoming a Muslim. I want to find how to become >Muslim, on >doing so I found out a lot about the religion I never knew before, >and it's >kind of disturbing and almost a let down. I'm sorry I feel like that >but >it's true. One of the things that bother me is the polygamy thing, I >would >like to know where it addresses that in the Holy Qu'ran, please try >to give >me tips on how to live like that and remain sane? > >Answer: > >Praise be to Allaah. > >Allaah concluded His Message to mankind with the religion of Islam, >and He >tells us that He will not accept any religion other than that. >Allaah says >(interpretation of the meaning): > >“And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be >accepted of >him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers” > >[Aal ‘Imraan 3:85] > >Your backing away from the religion of Islam is considered to be a >loss for >you, and a loss of the happiness that awaited you, had you entered >Islam. >You should hasten to enter Islam, and beware of delaying, for that >delay may >lead to regrettable consequences. > >With regard to what you mention about the reason for your backing >off being >the idea of plural marriage [polygamy or polygyny], we will present >to you >the ruling on plural marriage in Islam, and then the wisdom and >noble >purposes behind it. > >1 – The ruling on plural marriage in Islam: > >The shar’i text which permits plural marriage is: > >Allaah says in His Holy Book (interpretation of the meaning): > >“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the >orphan >girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or >four; but if >you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then >only >one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to >prevent you >from doing injustice” > >[al-Nisa’ 4:3] > >This is a Qur’aanic text which shows that plural marriage is >allowed. >According to Islamic sharee’ah, a man is permitted to marry one, >two, three >or four wives, in the sense that he may have this number of wives at >one >time. It is not permissible for him to have more than four. This was >stated >by the mufassireen (commentators on the Qur’aan) and fuqaha’ >(jurists), and >there is consensus among the Muslims on this point, with no >differing >opinions. > >It should be noted that there are conditions attached to plural >marriage: > >1 – Justice or fairness. > >Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): > >“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with >them), then >only one” > >[al-Nisa’ 4:3] > >This aayah is indicates that just treatment is a condition for >plural >marriage to be permitted. If a man is afraid that he will not be >able to >treat his wives justly if he marries more than one, then it is >forbidden for >him to marry more than one. What is meant by the justice that is >required in >order for a man to be permitted to have more than one wife is that >he should >treat his wives equally in terms of spending, clothing, spending the >night >with them and other material things that are under his control. > >With regard to justice or fairness in terms of love, he is not held >accountable for that, and that is not required of him because he has >no >control over that. This is what is meant by the verse, > >“You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if >it is >your ardent desire” > >[al-Nisa’ 4:129 – interpretation of the meaning]. > >2 – The ability to spend on one’s wives: > >The evidence for this condition is the verse: > >“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep >themselves >chaste, until Allaah enriches them of His Bounty” > >[al-Noor 24:33 – interpretation of the meaning] > >In this verse Allaah commands those who are able to get married but >cannot >find the financial means, to remain chaste. One such example is not >having >enough money to pay the mahr (dowry) and not being able to spend on >one’s >wife. (al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, part 6, p. 286). > >2 – The wisdom behind permitting plural marriage > >1 – Plural marriage helps to increase the numbers of the ummah >(nation, >Muslim community). It is known that the numbers can only be >increased >through marriage, and the number of offspring gained through plural >marriage >will be greater than that achieved through marriage to one wife. > >Wise people know that increasing the number of offspring will >strengthen the >ummah and increase the number of workers in it, which will raise its >economic standard – if the leaders run the affairs of state well and >make >use of its resources in a proper manner. Ignore the claims of those >who say >that increasing the numbers of human beings poses a danger to the >earth’s >resources which are insufficient, for Allaah the Most Wise Who has >prescribed plural marriage has guaranteed to provide provision for >His >slaves and has created on earth what is more than sufficient for >them. >Whatever shortfall exists is due to the injustice of >administrations, >governments and individuals, and due to bad management. Look at >China, for >example, the greatest nation on earth as far as number of >inhabitants is >concerned, and it is regarded as one of the strongest nations in the >world, >and other nations would think twice before upsetting China; it is >also one >of the great industrialized nations. Who would dare think of >attacking >China, I wonder? And why? > >2 – Statistics show that the number of women is greater than the >number of >men; if each man were to marry just one woman, this would mean that >some >women would be left without a husband, which would have a harmful >effect on >her and on society: > >The harmful effect is that she would never find a husband to take >care of >her interests, to give her a place to live, to spend on her, to >protect her >from haraam desires, and to give her children to bring her joy. This >may >lead to deviance and going astray, except for those on whom Allaah >has >mercy. > >With regard to the harmful effects on society, it is well known that >this >woman who is left without a husband may deviate from the straight >path and >follow the ways of promiscuity, so she may fall into the swamp of >adultery >and prostitution – may Allaah keep us safe and sound – which leads >to the >spread of immorality and the emergence of fatal diseases such as >AIDS and >other contagious diseases for which there is no cure. It also leads >to >family breakdown and the birth of children whose identity is >unknown, and >who do not know who their fathers are. > >Those children do not find anyone to show compassion towards them or >any >mature man to raise them properly. When they go out into the world >and find >out the truth, that they are illegitimate, that is reflected in >their >behaviour, and they become exposed to deviance and going astray. >They may >even bear grudges against society, and who knows? They may become >the means >of their country’s destruction, leaders of deviant gangs, as is the >case in >many nations in the world. > >3 – Men are exposed to incidents that may end their lives, for they >work in >dangerous professions. They are the soldiers who fight in battle, >and more >men may die than women. This is one of the things that raise the >percentage >of husbandless women, and the only solution to this problem is >plural >marriage. > >4 – There are some men who may have strong physical desires, for >whom one >wife is not enough. If the door is closed to such a man and he is >told, you >are not allowed more than one wife, this will cause great hardship >to him, >and his desire may find outlets in forbidden ways. > >In addition to that, a woman menstruates each month, and when she >gives >birth, she bleeds for forty days (this post-partum bleeding is >called nifaas >in Arabic), at which time a man cannot have intercourse with his >wife, >because intercourse at the time of menstruation or nifaas is >forbidden, and >the harm that it causes has been proven medically. So plural >marriage is >permitted when one is able to be fair and just. > >5 – Plural marriage does not exist only in the Islamic religion, >rather it >was known among the previous nations. Some of the Prophets were >married to >more than one woman. The Prophet of Allaah Sulaymaan (Solomon) had >ninety >wives. At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be >upon >him), there were some men who became Muslims who had eight or five >wives. >The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told them to >keep >four wives and to divorce the rest. > >6 – A wife may be barren, or she may not meet her husband’s needs, >or he may >be unable to have intercourse with her because she is sick. A >husband may >long to have children, which is a legitimate desire, and he may want >to have >a sex life within marriage, which is something permissible, and the >only way >is to marry another wife. It is only fair for the wife to agree to >remain >his wife and to allow him to marry another. > >7 – A woman may be one of the man’s relatives and have no one to >look after >her, and she is unmarried or a widow whose husband has died, and the >man may >think that the best thing to do for her is to include her in his >household >as a wife along with his first wife, so that he will both keep her >chaste >and spend on her. This is better for her than leaving her alone and >being >content only to spend on her. > >8 – There are other shar’i interests that call for plural marriages, >such as >strengthening the bonds between families, or strengthening the bonds >between >a leader and some of his people or group, and he may think that one >of the >ways of achieving this aim is to become related to them through >marriage, >even if that is through plural marriage. > >Objection: > >Some people may object and say that plural marriage means having >co-wives in >one house, and that the disputes and enmity that may arise between >co-wives >will have an effect on the husband, children and others, and this is >harmful >and should be avoided, and the only way to prevent that is to ban >plural >marriage. > >Response to the objection: > >The response to that is that family arguments may occur even when >there is >only one wife, and they may not even happen when there is more than >one >wife, as we see in real life. Even if we assume that there may be >more >arguments than in a marriage to one wife, even if we accept that >they may be >harmful and bad, the harm is outweighed by the many good things in a >plural >marriage. Life is not entirely bad or entirely good, but what >everyone hopes >is that the good will outweigh the bad, and this principle is what >applies >in the permission for plural marriage. > >Moreover, each wife has the right to her own, separate accommodation >as >prescribed in Islam. It is not permissible for the husband to force >his >wives to live together in one house. > >Another objection: > >If we allow men to have plural wives, why are women not allowed to >have >multiple husbands, why does a woman not have the right to marry more >than >one man? > >Response to this objection: > >There is no point in giving a woman the right to marry multiple >husbands, >rather that is beneath her dignity and she would not know the >lineage of her >children, because she is the one who bears the offspring, and it is >not >permissible for the offspring to be formed from the sperm of a >number of men >lest the lineage of the child be lost and no one will know who is >responsible for bringing up the child; this will lead to breakdown >of >families, loss of ties between fathers and children, which is not >permitted >in Islam as it is not in the interests of the woman or of the child >or of >society as a whole. > >Al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, part 6, p. 290 > >Title: The first wife’s approval is not a condition for marrying a >second >wife > >Question: > >My question is if you would help me to know the Hadith or the point >of vieuw >from the Islamic law on the follwing situation. >If a woman is married to a man and that this man is also married to >an other >woman without her, the last, knows about this marriage. >No need to say that this is a difficult and very exceptional >situation but >seems the best concerning the circumstances? > >Answer: > >Praise be to Allaah. > >The wife’s approval is not a condition for plural marriage, and it >is not >obligatory for the husband to have the approval of his first wife if >he >wants to marry a second wife. But it is good manners and kind >treatment to >approach the issue in such a way as to reduce the pain which women >naturally >feel in such cases, by smiling at her, greeting her warmly, speaking >nicely >to her and spending money on her according to his means, in order to >gain >her approval. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/204. > >If a husband takes a second wife, he has to treat his wives equally >as far >as possible. If he does not treat them equally then he is exposing >himself >to a stern warning, for it was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the >Prophet >(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two >wives and >inclines more towards one of them than the other, will come on the >Day of >Resurrection with half of his body leaning.” (narrated by >al-Nisaa’i, >‘Ushrat al-Nisaa’, 3881; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh >Sunan >al-Nasaa’i, no. 3682). > >When Allaah permitted us to marry more than one woman, He said >(interpretation of the meaning): > >“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with >them), then >only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer >to >prevent you from doing injustice”[al-Nisaa’ 4:3] > >So Allaah commands that a man should restrict himself to one wife, >if he >knows that he cannot be just. And Allaah is the source of strength. > >See Fataawa Manaar al-Islam, 2/570. > > >Title: There is no hadeeth which says that a wife’s permission is >required >before taking another wife > >Is there a hadith that relates to a husband needing the permission >of >present wife to marry 2nd wife? > >Answer: > >Praise be to Allaah. > >There is no hadeeth which states that, and it is not conditional for >the >husband to have his wife’s permission to take another wife. But it >is in >everyone’s interests for him to try to get her consent, because this >will >help to reduce problems in the marriage. > >Question: >on what conditions is it allowed for a muslim to marry more than one >wife? > >Answer: > >Praise be to Allaah. > >Marrying more than one wife is a matter which is recommended, >subject to >certain conditions: that the man be financially and physically able >for it, >and that he be able to treat his wives justly. > >Plural marriage brings a lot of benefits, including protecting the >chastity >of the women whom he marries, bringing people closer together, and >producing >a lot of children. This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of >Allaah >be upon him) referred to when he said: “Marry the one who is loving >and >fertile”. And it serves a lot of other purposes. But for a man to >marry more >than one wife by way of boasting and taking that as a challenge to >prove >himself, this is a form of extravagance and extravagance is >forbidden. >Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): > >“and waste not by extravagance. Verily, He likes not al-musrifoon >(those who >waste by extravagance)”[al-An’aam 6:141] > >Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, from Kitaab Fataawa Islamiyyah, >vol. 3, p. >205. > >Question: >Is it halal to have a second wife who says she does not need >financial >support. If so, what if the first wife does not allow the >marriage..can a >man still get married again? > >Answer: > >Praise be to Allaah. > >Maintenance is one of the rights of the wife which is an obligation >upon her >husband. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): > >“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has >made >one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support >them) >from their means.” > >[al-Nisaa’ 4:34] > >If the woman foregoes this right, to which she is entitled – which >is her >maintenance– then it is no longer obligatory upon her husband. > >Ibn Qudaamah said: If she agrees to forego some part of her share >(of her >husband’s time) or her maintenance, or all of that, this is >permissible. >(al-Mughni, vol. 7, p. 244). > >With regard to the permission and approval of the first wife for a >plural >marriage, this is not a condition and the husband does not have to >seek the >permission of his first wife to marry a second. But it is prescribed >for him >to be kind to her and to spend money and to say kind words so as to >calm her >down and reduce her jealousy. The Standing Committee was asked about >the >first wife’s approval for one who wants to marry another wife. Their >response was: > >It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second >wife, to >have the approval of the first wife, but it is the matter of good >manners >and kind treatment that he should speak to her kindly in such a way >as to >reduce the feelings of hurt which are natural in women in such >cases. That >is by smiling at her, showing that he is happy to see her, being >kind, >speaking nicely and by spending money on her if necessary. > >See Fataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 3, p. 204 > > >Question: > > >Does a man have to treat his co-wives equally in terms of >gift-giving and >intimacy? > >Answer: > >Praise be to Allaah. > >Ibn Qudaamah said: > >He does not have to treat his co-wives equally in terms of spending >and >clothing, so long as he does what he is obliged to do with regard to >each of >them. > >Ahmad said concerning a man who had two wives: he has the right to >favour >one of them in terms of spending, intimacy and clothing, so long as >the >other has enough. He may buy for one of them clothing of a higher >quality >than for the other, so long as the other has enough. This is because >treating them equally in all these matters is too difficult, and if >it were >obligatory then he would only be able to do it with great >difficulty. So he >does not have to do it, as is the case in treating them all equally >with >regard to intimacy. > > >Is it permissible for a person who cannot adjust with his current >wife to >marry a second wife? He does not want to leave his first wife. > >Answer: > >Praise be to Allaah and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. > >It is OK for you to marry a second wife, and in fact this could be >the >solution to your problem, because Allaah says (interpretation of the >meaning): > >"… then marry women of your choice, two or three, or four…" >[al-Nisaa’ 4:3] > >- as long as you are going to treat them equally with regard to >where you >spend your nights and how much you spend on them. So if you spend >one night >with one, and the next night with the other, and spend on them >equally, >there is nothing wrong at all with marrying a second wife. > >And Allaah knows best. > > >Question: > > >Polygamy...I understand what Allah (swt)has said regarding this >subject in >as much as the economic and importance of the family structure >however where >in the Quaran does it address the distressed feelings of a woman >when her >husband decides to take another wife, and how these two should live >in >harmony under one roof? > >Answer: > >Praise be to Allaah. > >The first wife’s distress when her husband marries another wife is >to be >expected, and Allaah has set out rules and regulations to reduce >these >feelings or remove them altogether, by enjoining justice, patience >in the >face of adversity, and so on. Whatever the case, the fact that these >feelings of distress and the dislike of polygamy exist does not >justify >condemnation of polygamy. Islam came to serve and increase people’s >best >interests, and to reduce harmful things and render them ineffective. >There >is no doubt that polygamy, when practised properly in accordance >with Islam, >achieves many things that are in people’s best interests (such as >maintaining the chastity of the man who is not satisfied with one >wife, >taking care of and maintaining the chastity of the woman who has no >husband, >increasing the offspring of the Muslims, solving the problem of >widows and >spinsters, and of the reduced numbers of men after times of war, and >so on). >As regards the bad things that happen in cases of polygamy, either >they are >very small when compared to its benefits, or they stem from bad >application >of this practice. One of the rights which Islam gives to women is >that a >wife should have her own house, so the two wives do not have to live >together under one roof. And Allaah knows best. > >Courtesy of Shaikh Munnajji of Questions and Answers. > > >With the very best of good wishes, >Musa Amadu Pembo >Glasgow, >Scotland >UK. >[log in to unmask] >Da’wah is to convey the message with wisdom and with good words. We >should >give the noble and positive message of Islam. We should try to >emphasize >more commonalities and explain the difference without getting into >theological arguments and without claiming the superiority of one >position >over the other. There is a great interest among the people to know >about >Islam and we should do our best to give the right message. >May Allah,Subhana Wa Ta'Ala,guide us all to His Sirat Al-Mustaqim >(Righteous >Path).May He protect us from the evils of this life and the >hereafter.May >Allah,Subhana Wa Ta'Ala,grant us entrance to paradise . >We ask Allaah the Most High, the All-Powerful, to teach us that >which will >benefit us, and to benefit us by that which we learn. May Allaah >Subhanahu >Wa Ta'ala grant blessings and peace to our Prophet Muhammad and his >family >and >companions..Amen. > >_________________________________________________________________ >Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. >http://www.hotmail.com > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the >Gambia-L Web interface >at: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/gambia-l.html >To contact the List Management, please send an e-mail to: >[log in to unmask] > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~