Soffie,

No onw would apply but you find out the details of the job after you already
have it, so there is no choice in the matter. Forced labour I say. But we love
it anyway although sometimes you have to wonder if you will ever survive it.

Jabou

In a message dated 1/15/04 1:45:44 PM Central Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
>
>
> How many of us would have applied?  Hilarious.
>
> Soffie
>
>
>   POSITION:
> Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy
>
>        JOB DESCRIPTION:
>        Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in
>        an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
>        communication and organizational skills and be willing to work
>        variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and
>        frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required,
>        including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
>        endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not
>        reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
>
>        RESPONSIBILITIES:
>        The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
>        temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
>        repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
>        and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case,
>        this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying
>        wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such
>        as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck
>        zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate
>        production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan
>        and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental
>        outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
>        embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety
>        testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated
>        devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the
>        worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of
>        the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
>        janitorial work throughout the facility.
>
>        POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
>        Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for
>        years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your
>        skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
>
>        PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
>        None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
>        continually exhausting basis.
>
>        WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
>        Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A
>        balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption
>        that college will help them become financially independent. When you
>        die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this
>        reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you
>        could only do more.
>
>        BENEFITS:
>        While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
>        reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
>        this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and
>        free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
>
>        Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for
>        everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are
>        appreciated.
>
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