Brother Alpha

No matter what I say or show you as proof , your mind is made up and i can't change it.

People interprete some verses of the Quran to suit their own  needs not the required religious prescriptions. I can understand if a woman is barren ( and it could be the man's fault at times too so this must be verified first) to marry another one to have children . That is Ok but just to have fun is just plain zeenah. 

It is an impossible improbability to realistically or humanly possibly to treat two women ( or more ) equally not to talk of loving them at the same time in my humble opinion .

therefore I rest my case but I wish you good luck.

habib

 

 

 

 

 



>From: Alfa Jarju <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list              <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Polygammy is the BEST & The Right Sunnah
>Date: Sun, 7 Mar 2004 18:44:51 +0000
>
>Allah says," And among His Signs is this that He created for you WIVES
>from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He
>has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for
>those who reflect." Q30:21.
>
>"If you fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans
>marry women of your choice TWO or THREE or FOUR; but if ye fear that ye
>shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive)
>that your right hands possess.  That will be more suitable to prevent you
>from doing injustice." Q4:3
>
>Justice between wives means he should give them
>equal rights and provide for them equally.
>
>  It does not mean he should love
>them equally, he the husband has no control over this. Even a father may
>not love his children from a single woman equally, this is natural. Allah
>says,
>
>  "You are never able to be fair and just as between women even if it is your
>ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether so as to leave
>her (as it were) hanging (in the air).  If you come to a friendly
>understanding and practice self-restraint Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most
>Merciful." Q4:129. . In fact, polygamy is another way of testing the level
>of
>tolerance of people
>
>The above statements depends on the different interpretation but many
>Ulamas belief that it is a trial for man as human being cannot love two
>things equally.  If that is so as you claimed, why the same God allows us
>to marry many wives and again expecting us to love them equally?  Brother,
>I am sure you can not find it in the Holy Quran.
>which says that “if you can not love them equally, do not marry more than
>one”.
>
>If only those who oppose polygamy could know the mental agony which women
>who want to get married but could not for one reason or the other
>experience, they will change their stand. The fact that it has not
>happened to their sisters or close relatives does not mean that this
>problem does not exist.
>
>
>
>
>Quoting Habib Ghanim <[log in to unmask]>:
>
> >
> > If you can not love and treat the two women equally then you should not
> > marry another wife . Sahih Buhari and many other verses in the holy Quran
> > clearly state this
> > end of case
> >
> >
> >
> > >From: baboucarr Sey
> > >Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list
> > >To: [log in to unmask]
> > >Subject: Re: Polygammy is the BEST
> > >Date: Sun, 7 Mar 2004 05:52:07 -0800
> > >
> > >No no mr. Jarju I completely disagree with on this point.
> > >Cheers
> > >Mbye Sey
> > >
> > >Alfa Jarju wrote:
> > >What majority of Muslims fail to understand concerning the issue of
> > >Polygamy is the definition of EQUALITY IN LOVE. There is no where in
> > the
> > >Quran or Hadith which stated that those who are practicing should love
> > the
> > >said wives equally. It will be excellent if one can do that. The Love
> > >comes from Allah and it is some thing natural. What is important here
> > is
> > >the distribution of wealth and application of fairness or justice among
> > the
> > >wives. One may argues that if you love wife A, there is likely that you
> > >would give her preferential treatment. This is not the case, the
> > element
> > >of that portion is what Allah has given you as a trial. As a Muslim,
> > your
> > >number one duty is not no be carried away by once desire.
> > >
> > >If you look at the verse stating about marring, one may tend to believe
> > >that God is asking us to marry more than one wife. For example, the
> > actual
> > >counting in the Quran starts not in one BUT two “ Marry two, or three,
> > or
> > >four” But if you think you would find it difficult to practice
> > fairness,
> > >marry just one. I know Baba Galleh Jallow would laugh at this statement
> > >but it is fact.
> > >
> > >By looking at the above statement, one may tend to believe that Allah
> > wants
> > >us to marry more than one wife. Why? Because God is asking us if we
> > cannot
> > >practice fairness and one of the fundamental principles of Islam is
> > >fairness. If God tells you, ok since you cannot practice fairness just
> > >stop at one means if you cannot be a good Muslim, try and marry only
> > one
> > >because you cannot control your desire.
> > >
> > >The beauty of this verse is that, Allah knows that there would be a
> > time
> > >when the ratio of women would really out number men on this planet.
> > >
> > >Ndeye, if you see any nice lady in Ghana, pls call my attention. I want
> > to
> > >marry second wife. It is intersting to notice that "Alieus" are very
> > much
> > >concernd about this topic (laugh).
> > >
> > >Alh. Alieu.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >Quoting "Alieu S.K Cham" :
> > >
> > > >
> > > > Thanks to all of you for your interesting contributions on this very
> > > > important issue. I'm Alieu Cham, a Gambian national living in Oslo.
> > I
> > > > agree with Alieu Jawara that polygamy is not synonymous with sexual
> > > > infidelity. I wander who made this analogy between the two. It sounds
> > to
> > > > me like a Westerner assessing the norms, believes and practices of
> > > > non-Western societies. The act of Marrying may be universal but the
> > > > institution of marriage is contextual, or situated if you like. In
> > other
> > > > words, marriage has to be understood within the context in which it
> > is
> > > > contracted between two people. What it means being someones
> > wife/husband
> > > > is defined by the society in which the marriage takes place. My point
> > is
> > > > that anybody saying that polygamy is equal to sexual infidelity, in
> > my
> > > > view, lacks the basic understanding that the very notion of
> > infidelity
> > > > is problematic. This is so because fidelity/infidelity has to do
> > with
> > > > moral and, what constitutes good/bad moral is directly linked to
> > > > society/community or religion. So I think this analogy is overly
> > > > simplistic.
> > > > Now to the issue at hand. I think Alieu Jawara supports polygamy
> > > > primarily because it is " allowed by the holy Qur'an, the primary
> > source
> > > > of muslim belief". I have to say here that i am myself a believer in
> > the
> > > > Muslim faith. However i oppose polygamy as it is ACTUALLY being
> > > > practised. Jawara argued that several of Allah's prophets "who are
> > > > absolutely perfect creatures" have lived polygamous lives. This
> > brings me
> > > > to the core of my objection to polygamy as it is being practised. It
> > > > might have been easy for those "absolutely perfect" men of God to
> > live
> > > > polygamous lives. However it doesn't follow from this that it should
> > be
> > > > easy for OSS, the ordinary and imperfect people. It is the case that
> > to
> > > > marry more than one wife, one has to be PERFECTLY fair, in the
> > broadest
> > > > term, between the wives. This is certainly not any challenge for an
> > > > absolutely perfect person but what about the millions of people
> > around
> > > > the world who are practising polygamy - can they treat their wives
> > > > equally, love them equally, care for them equally, listen to them
> > > > equally......etc. I don't think so! I really don't think so! It
> > cannot be
> > > > helpful for any woman to be married to a man who brings her home only
> > to
> > > > make her secondary to the other wife(ves). I just want to give women
> > the
> > > > benefit of the doubt! I am anti-polygamy, if i may put it that way,
> > > > simply because i cannot divide my love into several parts, let alone
> > > > several EQUAL parts. My opinion on whether polygamy should be made
> > > > unlawful or not is that it should not. That may not be necessary.
> > Society
> > > > has more urgent matters to attend to. My hope is that more and more
> > women
> > > > will become aware of the fact that they can say no to a man who is
> > > > already married. Just as men do not have to marry more than one
> > wife,
> > > > women do NOT have to marry to anyone who is already married.
> > > > With an increased awareness, i think polygamy with disappear without
> > any
> > > > intervention by law makers. For all of you out there who favour a ban
> > (by
> > > > law) on polygamy, i just want to say that the best way out for deep
> > > > rooted practices such as polygamy, female circumcision etc is for
> > the
> > > > people themselves to be convinced that the practice may infact be
> > > > problematic. This conviction will provoke a reflection on the matter
> > -
> > > > and i believe that a reflection on polygamy will show that it can,
> > and
> > > > infact, should be abandoned (not banned by law). The practice of
> > polygamy
> > > > can conveniently be abandoned. This won't necessary conflict with
> > the
> > > > qur'an.
> > > > On the issue of prenuptial agreements, i hold the view that that is
> > > > utterly ridiculous. If my lady has to have my signature on paper, get
> > it
> > > > verified by a lawyer, approved by the court etc to believe my words,
> > then
> > > > i wander where we get with the relationship. Certain things has to
> > > > be agreed upon by matured people based solely on trust. This is
> > > > particularly true when we talk about a couple just about to marry.
> > The
> > > > very concept of marriage rests firmly on mutual trust between the
> > > > parties. Afterall what good can come out of a prenuptial agreement?
> > What
> > > > do you do in the case of a breach of contract? You divorce the
> > person? -
> > > > well it may be wiser to not marry that person in the first place.
> > > > Alieu S.K Cham, Oslo
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > On the door of a Moscow hotel room, it says;
> > > >
> > > > If this is your first time to Moscow, welcome to it.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > >From: Alieu Jawara
> > > > >Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list
> > > > >To: [log in to unmask]
> > > > >Subject: Polygammy...
> > > > >Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2004 00:40:43 -0700
> > > > >
> > > > >May I throw my two cents to this very exiting topic. Some of you
> > say
> > > > women should start a movement to stop men taking advantage of them.
> > This
> > > > is a great idea but perhaps men can help even better. Without the
> > > > involvement of educated and "powerful" men the progress will be
> > quite
> > > > slow indeed. God knows there are a lot of women suffering in
> > silence.
> > > > Can't leave x years of marriage because they have nothing to fall
> > back on
> > > > due to poverty. Who knows maybe this forum can even begin to set up
> > > > something just for the sake of Allah. Women could be educated
> > publicly
> > > > and the same time warning men of their actions. Financially we could
> > help
> > > > by taking their case up to justice.
> > > > >
> > > > >One thing I don't agree with the forum with is the issue of
> > prenuptial
> > > > agreements, to sign that the marriage will forever be monogamous.
> > Someone
> > > > also said polygamy is synonymous with sexual infidelity (stand
> > corrected
> > > > incase of any misquotations). First, Islam gives a lot of power to
> > women
> > > > as the lady that traditionally brings up the future heads of society.
> > She
> > > > must always be treated kindly and respectfully. The wife batters
> > wont
> > > > find their actions supported by any parts of the Qur'an or sunnah.
> > > > However, polygamy is the allowed by the Qur'an, the primary source
> > of
> > > > muslim belief. Allah's wisdom is much greater than ours and he knows
> > why
> > > > he made his law to be so. By making it haram (unlawful) onto yourself
> > is
> > > > taking Allah's merciful law into your own hands. Several of Allah's
> > > > prophets (who are absolutely perfect creatures) have lived
> > polygamous
> > > > lives, including the final one Nabiy Mustapha Alaihi salaam. His
> > > > companions, whom we should take as our role models, also did the
> > same.
> > > > Just to remind you briefly that our noble prophet (may on him be
> > peace)
> > > > lived his first 25 years as a chaste bachelor and the next 25 years
> > in a
> > > > monogamous marriage with a wife (widowed) 15 years his seniour.
> > Apart
> > > > from Aisha (daughter of his closest companion), the remainder of his
> > > > marriages were to divorcées or widows. His marriages are vlearly out
> > of
> > > > compassion and not of passion. There are several reasons (which I
> > wont
> > > > talk about here) where it might be necessary to marry a second, third
> > or
> > > > fourth wife). I think it's quite wrong to deny yourself of halaal
> > just
> > > > because the love at the time of marriage is so high. The love for
> > Allah
> > > > and his laws should be much greater. Polygamy is definitely not
> > > > synonymous to sexual infidelity where a husband sneaks out on a
> > family
> > > > that he should love and care for just to come back with bag of lies!
> > > > Several verses come to mind but how about this one in conclusion:
> > > > >
> > > > >16:116 "And, for what your tongues describe, do not utter the lie,
> > > > (saying) This is lawful and this is unlawful, in order to forge a
> > lie
> > > > against Allah; surely those who forge the lie against Allah shall
> > not
> > > > prosper"
> > > > >
> > > > >66:01 "O Prophet! why do you forbid (yourself) that which Allah has
> > made
> > > > lawful for you; you seek to please your wives; and Allah is
> > Forgiving,
> > > > Merciful"
> > > > >
> > > > >I advise you read the commentary of the above and read up on the
> > sunnah
> > > > regarding polygamy.
> > > > >
> > > > >Salaam,
> > > > >
> > > > >Alieu Jawara
> > > > >
> > > > >P.S. Can I ask the directors to change my email address to
> > > > [log in to unmask] These very exciting articles having interrupting
> > my
> > > > work. I can't help reading them when they pop up on the screen. By
> > moving
> > > > it to my free mail, I can choose to read them at lunch or at the end
> > of
> > > > the day. Thanks all.
> > > > >
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