Welcome sister Jane
You right . You must study old cases to prevent any surprises befalling you or anyone. I understand . I am married to a non Gambian but another African woman ( for almost thirty years)
To me the only reason why the marriage has survived that long ( and will last forever -inshallah) is because I actually too some time to study her customs and cultures and religion too - she was a cayholic too.
some food for thought here is like some sisters suggested a prenuptual would hold in any court of law and that will be the knot that ties this man down in my humble opinion.
I have see so many sisters being taken advantage of by men - american , asian ,african arabs etc just because they neglet some of their basic rights like a simple promissory note
I had mine when I was married because I wanted to be crystal clear to my wife to be that my children will follow my religion and culture until they are 18 then they can choose whatever they want . Well you know that by that age they were already moulded and I doubt if they will ever change . They are all grown up and thier mom has followed them -rightly so !!imho
habib
>From: Jane Warner <
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>Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list <
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>To:
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>Subject: Re: question/Habib
>Date: Mon, 1 Mar 2004 09:41:11 -0800
>
>Brother Habib,
>
>Well, no -- actually I'm a secretary working at the University. But I am
>married into a wonderful Gambian family and trying to learn and understand
>as much as I can about my adopted culture and faith. The differences as
>compared to my origins are so striking, and yet there are so many
>subtleties. It gives me plenty to think about!
>
>best regards,
>Jane
>
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>
>Jane Zainab Warner-Tholley
>OFFICE OF THE ATTORNEY GENERAL
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>University of Washington
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>On Mon, 1 Mar 2004, Habib Ghanim wrote:
>
> >
> > It looks like someone is doing a university research on Gambian women here
> > !1 am I right?
> >
> > habib
> >
> >
> >
> > >From: Jane Warner
> > >Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list
> > >To:
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> > >Subject: Re: question
> > >Date: Mon, 1 Mar 2004 08:49:45 -0800
> > >
> > >This question has elicited a lot of fascinating information and I'm very
> > >interested by everyone's responses .
> > >
> > >I wonder under what conditions Gambian women, in the current or in past
> > >generations, have felt content with a marriage with co-wives? There was
> > >mention that rates of polygamy go down as education goes up. This doesn't
> > >seem surprising to me. Yet, when you look at marriage in US society, it
> > >is often not very edifying, what with conflict, abuse, neglect and
> > >abandonment being all too common. Perhaps our divorce rate is just
> > >polygamy in another guise?
> > >
> > >In the minds of most Americans, I think polygamy could be a synonym for
> > >sexual infidelity. But what interests me about it is how it relates to
> > >traditions, both Islamic and cultural, and if it holds a key to the proper
> > >provision of the needs of men, women and children living in a community.
> > >
> > >From my limited experience, it has seemed to me that relations
> > >between Gambian men and women are marked by a degree of formality and
> > >separation. I have wondered if that structure (if that is what it is)
> > >has something to teach us in the US, where I think men/woman relations are
> > >often characterized by suspicion and neediness, even to the point of
> > >contempt. I also think that these characteristics have a negative impact
> > >on the work of families--to raise children, and on the possibility of
> > >community, that rarest of rare things in American life.
> > >
> > >Jane
> > >
> > >
> > >*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
> > >
> > >Jane Zainab Warner-Tholley
> > >University of Washington
> > >Seattle, Washington 98195
> > >
> > >
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