by Baba Galleh Jallow
Dr. Lionmouth Chickenheart, managing director of No Cough Enterprises, was a very special man in our little town. He was not only special because of his special qualities of mind, but also because he was simply one of the greatest guys ever to breath the airs of our little town. No wonder our common townsfolk, who had never beheld such dazzling qualities before, called him the great cock who, having no need to crow, instead cackled like a mother hen to get his wishes done. They also called him Yappagi, the meat that needs no cooking.
Dr. Lionmouth Chickenheart came from very humble backgrounds, but judging by the greatness of his industry and the great status that he had achieved thanks to his special qualities of mind, the great guy was now larger than life in our little town. Having struggled through primary and secondary school, Dr. Chickenheart attended the famous University of Nodegree, from where he graduated with a Bachelor of Ropes in Prating. From there, our gallant genius went on to the University of Yokagi from where he clinched a Master of Fibs in Heehawlogy. So dazzling was his performance that he was admitted at Yokagi’s world-renowned PhD program in Cackology. It was after he got his doctorate that Dr. Chickenheart came back home to our little town to set up the now universally famous No Cough Enterprises. He was given a hero’s welcome befitting the greatest of kings and shortly entered into our little town’s Hall of Fame.
It was not surprising at all that Dr. Lionmouth Chickenheart soon became one of the greatest success stories in our little town. For in addition to being a business genius, our gallant Lionmouth Chickenheart was also a great orator and a philanthropist. It was on account of his pious and charitable nature that he became known as the Father of Donation, a title he greatly cherished. The only difficulty our common townsfolk had with Dr. Chickenheart, which really was not a big problem, was that the great guy had a very bad temper. When he got annoyed, his rage was so furious that even chickens ran to hide when they saw him coming. For at such unfortunate moments, our gallant Doctor would huff and pant and foam at the mouth and loudly wail and pull his hair. He would sniff and cough and loudly splutter, and make such guttural noises as would frighten not only chickens and little children, but also adults. The staff at No Cough Enterprises would be the most frightened, sometimes running to hide under the desks lest they further annoy the great boss by showing their ugly faces. For when he is angry, Dr. Chickenheart would not hesitate to call anybody fool and liar and to give them a resounding slap if they dared to cross his path.
Then when his temper cools a bit, Dr. Lionmouth Chickenheart would call a general meeting of the staff at No Cough Enterprises where he would set to harshly berating whoever the culprit was that made him mad. He would dwell on the shameful ingratitude of little nobodies who think they are wise and challenge anyone to a boxing competition, reminding his audience that in college, they called him Muhammed Ali. "It is my kind heart that disturbs me," he would regretfully fume. "Because the last time I got those fools, I wanted to deal with them. But they came scurrying on their knees, dragging themselves on their lying bellies and begging me for mercy. They came weeping and wailing and calling me Father of Donation, praying that I forgive them. Then when I found it in my good heart to forgive them, they go about telling lies about me and calling me fool, and monkey. I will not tolerate that anymore."
Remembering the shameful ingratitude of those stupid blokes, Dr. Lionmouth Chickenheart would burst into tears again and ask his cronies to bring him some pepper, which he would pour into his eyes to further express his rage. Then all the faithful cronies would run up to him and call him father, begging him not to sprinkle pepper in his eyes, sprinkling cold water on his head to cool his temper. Whereby Dr. Lionmouth Chickenheart would wipe his eyes and loudly say: "I do not cry for anything in this world. No one can make me cry. And if I wanted to, I will ban everybody from calling me Father of Donation, and I would stop donating my money and my ideas and my wisdom and all the good things that I donate and that these jealous fools can never get without my donation. But now they go about telling lies only to come back to me, crawling on their knees, calling me Father of Donation." At which point all the staff and cronies at No Cough Enterprises would send a universal hail up to heaven and repeatedly call him Father of Donation. And our gallant Doctor would proudly beam and munch his cheeks and kindly say, "okay, okay I forgive and I forget because I am the Father of Donation."