Verily Suntou, Orphanage created by separation/divorce is most pesky. We encourage marriage, especially when children have already been conceived, but we also acknowledge that the salvage value of some marriages according to the partners in marriage warrants terminal divorce. The children of such divorces are indemnified in such eventuality. And, any secours for such children and needy spouse could have the collateral effect of reunited families. You are quite right in that communal assistance generally depends the whims of members of the Orphaned children's family, clan, or immediate community and the scope of such assistance depends not only on the capacity of the benefactors but on other relationship-calculus. Meanwhile, the orphaned children still need secours for value-life. I understand that children orphaned by a parent/s who are on scholarship overseas, volunteering with an NGO, gainfully employed by corporations, or who are economic refugees overseas, do have discretionary lattitude in ensuring the continued sustenance of their children or reuniting their families. It still remains that many a children are orphaned in such situations. Therefore, any regime of secours, albeit transitional, must take into consideration delinquent parents. For it is the children who will be the main focus. Perhaps effort to negotiate between such parents and family members could form part of the secours if the period of orphanage exceeds a certain Flux (30-40 days). What do you think? I have read your notes on spouses who leave wives behind and wander the earth as economic refugees. However, I was not aware of your notes on parents who leave children behind. Perhaps you could kindly share that with us as part of this conversation. I understand you to view Orphans of deceased parent/s to be more important than other types of orphans. I would caution such comparative assessment. This is perhaps why some programs for orphans lack the requisite address. The reason is that an orphan is one who lacks the minimum parental nurturing and support. We recognize that even children orphaned by the death of one or both parents do grow up to attain majority age, or as you advised, may obtain the requisite nurturing and support from other family or community members. Indeed are better off than some orphans of divorced parents or politically-exiled parents, the latter of which could be our next sub-topic. Suntou, you share some serious commentary and I encourage you to propose some regime of secours to your imam both in Coventry and Gambia and encourage your friends and family to do likewise. Should our conversation here yield some added secours, I hope you will be an integral part of, and participant to such. Haruna. I encourage you to Goodsearch for The GLobal Democracy Project Raise funds for your favourite charity by using _www.goodsearch.com_ (http://www.goodsearch.com/) - powered by Yahoo! In a message dated 7/1/2008 4:52:28 A.M. Mountain Daylight Time, [log in to unmask] writes: Haruna, the angles you highlighted are very important. orphans are not in the situation of death but also through divorce and other peculiar engagements. from the perspective i see it is that, communal assistant goes with family ties and close friendship. in our context as Gambians, one may find it difficult to categorise men/women who are away from their children for years as orphan children. i have highlighted that in the commentary i did on "Gambian immigrant in U.S" some of our brothers leave young children and alas they never witness the growth of this children, the families .extended family look after this kids. but the most important of orphans are orphans through the usual understanding, that is death. as i am writing this, two more Gambians has passed away in the U.K. one in Manchester and another in Crowley. i don't know the names yet, but i attended emergency meeting today to raise fund for the deceased Kalifa saidykhan in Coventry. so understanding orphanage is very important. keep up the enlightenment. May God bless the soul of this two Gambians. amen. This conversation has taken us through an identification of who orphaned children are. We have narrowed our focus to a critical Flux term reserved for bereavement. That is normally between 30-40 days or until the monogamous spouse re-marries. The perspective is to devise a plan of secours that encourages family cohesion and reunions, and discourages divorce or singular life. The Flux period/term is underpinned in religio-traditional lore and therefore will be worthwhile to investigate what assistance regime churches and mosques have in place for such secours. Any considerations we make here will help to augment those programs and where non-existent, we encourage congregants to propose it to their church, mosque, or synagogue. In the area of Orphanage which is a result of a parent or parents separated from their families due to assignments, work, scholarship, or volunteer work overseas, it is safe to say that that falls more under the purview of the individual concerned and the NGO, employer, and or benefactor. It is sometimes hard to turn down a lucrative job assignment, scholarship, or volunteer work overseas especially for citizens of developing countries. However, if we are married or have children, it is only prudent that we insist on some accomodation, in writing, from employers, benefactors, or NGO's, for a schedule of re-uniting with our family not to exceed a period of one year. I understand that some employers and NGO's already take such responsibilities into consideration but it may be harder for educational benefactors especially non-governmental scholarships. In such cases, and as part of your negotiation, you are best advised to negotiate for on campus or part time work and possibly airfare to visit your family at least once a year. The part time or on-campus work is to enable you to still support you familial responsibilities and other incidental expenses. Some of us volunteer with NGO's as one of my brothers is doing now in Darfur as am sure many are doing. It is comforting to know that NGO's incorporate considerations for our own families we leave behind as we lend a hand to others around the world who are suffering. I advise all NGO's to consider such if they haven't already and to encourage family cohesion, to afford volunteers family leaves at least once every six months. If the duration of volunteering will last longer than 3 years, I recommend rotating volunteers in much the same way as soldiers serving overseas are rotated. Soldiers, whether peace-keeping or war-making or defensive, fall under the purview of governments and multi-lateral agencies so we will not consider soldiers in this conversation. It therefore appears that work or scholarship-exiled Parent/s have enormous lattitude and secours for their families. We have now removed such children from our consideration of Orphaned children. We can turn our attention to Orphanage caused by Political-exile. Haruna. I yield for ideas/suggestions/other views. In a message dated 6/27/2008 7:16:52 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time, [log in to unmask] writes: Thank you Suntou. You have, perhaps unawares, further advanced the conversation. I caution against limiting orphanage to ONLY the absence of the father. I was at great pains to not yield to that albeit impressive angle. That said, I want to commend you for bringing up an important point viz: "i am proud of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses but still take turns to look after their kid's. that is also another important thing." Suntou. I will only add 'sisters' where you have brothers but the anecdote points us in this if transitional direction in the conversation to yield secours - Most communities of folk have traditions of assistance to orphaned children who have lost one or both parents. Even though this does not readily address orphans of exiled or estranged parents, it is worth our while to inventory what resources we already have on the ground and expand on those. That is why what you shared is so valuable. I understand that in Wollof, Mandinka, Jola, Fula, Sarahule, Toucouleur, bedouin, Moor, Touareg and Serer traditions, when a father is deceased, one of his brothers, cousins, or another member of his family undertakes to nurture his bereaved wife and children. This tradition however is quasi-religious and part ethnic. In Christian communities, I do not know of a specific tradition for a brother, cousin, or family member to re-marry the bereaved wife of their kin. However, the kind Christian heart does offer secours for the bereaved family only the wife either becomes a widower for life or is free to re-marry as she so chooses. Both safety nets are valuable for they provide a semblance of stability and haven for the children. So in effect, there is some structure of continued support for the children and bereaved wives. Now then, when the mother is deceased, the father is generally free to re-marry n'importe qui (as he desires) but advised to marry a wife who will be diligent in nurturing the orphaned children as is reasonable within their means. More often, the death of one or both parents diminishes the family's resources significantly to a point where despair sets in. Other times, the man is married to other wives with whom he has children. In such cases, we must redouble our efforts as 'other wives' to accept such children as our own and nurture them the best way possible. Some such communities may have a tradition of allocating the children to the wives for shared secours. It appears therefore that it is the diminished resources of the bereaved wife or husband that we ought to focus on to find additional support. At least until they re-marry. This transitional period can mean the difference between continued valuable life and death. For example; the brother who, by tradition, must offer secours for the bereaved children and wife, may himself already be struggling for food, home, nad education for his own children but out of honour and respect, cannot refuse to take in the bereaved family. The bereaved father has more discretionary lattitude but still may need a critical helping hand during the transitional period of loss of the mother and when he re-marries. We can see that in all cases, the transitional period which I will call the Flux term for brevity, is common to all. While re-marrying can be encouraged, the children still need help during Flux. Most traditions have a period of bereavement for the wife (not sure if this is true for the husband), generally between 30 - 40 days. Perhaps for those traditions, a focus on Flux Secours can be valuable. Now none of what we have discussed so far has bearing on the orphans of exiled or estranged parent/parents. I yield now for more ideas/suggestions/views. Haruna. In a message dated 6/27/2008 7:59:14 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, [log in to unmask] writes: haruna, interesting. your human side is amazing. i wrote a poem about children who grow up only with their mothers, i haven't publish it yet. i am proud of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses but still take turns to look after their kid's. that is also another important thing. unfortunately, two years ago, i was in touch with an American lady who had a child with a Gambian but the marriage ended and the man moved away, the lady was looking for a Gambian to connect the child. you raised valid points masoud. Haruna Darbo wrote: I have been wondering about the affairs and plight of children who have lost one or both parents. The query brought me to a need to identify such children. Help me out if you can please. I am inclined to describe orphaned children as follows: 1. Those children who have lost a Father and or Mother. These children span all ages, from the baby who is nursing and suddenly robbed of his or her parent/parents, to the adolescent who is on the verge of taking epochal matriculation exams, to the adult who has relied on his or her children's grandparents to nurture his or her own children. It runs the gamut. Suddenly there is not the person who calls you in from play when darkness descends or to call you to prayer. The one who answers the principal's summons when you run roughshod of school rules or to receive your teacher's personal commendation for your good work. The one you share with your friends when you take turns boasting about your pedigrees. The one who recognizes you must see a doctor/dentist when you begin losing your first teeth. The one who brags to other parents about you or solicits counsel for you. The one who takes you fishing, hunting, canoeing, tree-climbing, or on your first ferry-ride. The one who cleans your nose in her mouth. The one who defends you when other errant parents want to pin juvenile crimes on you in deference to their own knuckleheads. The one who tells you not to climb out the window when he or she goes to sleep just so you can join you friends at the Jafandu party. Reminiscences. Life support. 2. Those children who are abandoned if only temporarily. These children have at one point in their lives or for all their lives dealt with one or both parents going away for further studies with the hope of reunion (which desire is oft overtaken by other consideration and intervening time and events) or exiled by rogue governance, or overseas appointments. Perchance, there is some way to yield such children relief and afford them a semblance of stability and continued value-life. Some of these parents may have been the sole breadwinners of the family or may have been married to one or more wives the latter of whom are themselves at the precipice of hunger, despair, and possibly suicide. I encourage my friends here to consider these children and elevate the conversation to some meaningful secours as only the mighty and conscientious of Ellen might be capable of. I now yield for other view/suggestion/ideas. Thank you my friends and fambul. Haruna. **************Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient used cars. (http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007) いいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L Web interface at: http://listserv.icors.org/archives/gambia-l.html To Search in the Gambia-L archives, go to: http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?S1=gambia-l To contact the List Management, please send an e-mail to: [log in to unmask] いいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい