Remembering My brother who answered to the Creator’s call one year ago on May 15, 2008
Mbye Baboucarr Mboge-(Rest In Glorious Peace
)
Dear Mbye,
I know you are watching over me and wishing all the best for me from the heavens. I just want to say thank you for all the beautiful memories. Friday, 15 May 2009 will be one year since you left us. The Creator, The Most Merciful who gave us the chance to have encountered your beautiful character and kind-heartedness decided to take you away from us at the appointed time. I am thankful to the Almighty Allah for letting me enjoy your company for a while. I wish he’d let you be around a bit longer but he knows best and I pray that his mercy be bestowed on you aplenty as well as our parents whom you’ve joined in heaven.
I am still not over the reality that no more will I hear your hearty laugh and wicked sense of humour when the phone rings. I have no one to share my joys and sadness the way I did with you, Mbye. I will never be over the fact that you are gone forever and I shall not see you again in this world. I do not want to be over the idea that it will only be in another setting we shall meet. I pray the Almighty will keep us together eternally whenever we meet again. I get glimpses in my dreams of your beautiful smile and the echo of your voice saying ‘afairla, bro afairla’ accompanied by a throaty giggle.
It was a bright Thursday morning, the sky was blue in Oslo and I was indulged in some trivia that I cannot recall now. At the back of my mind jostling were thoughts of what kind of illness you were suffering from and how you were getting on. I was anxious and at the same time deeply annoyed that there was nothing I can do. I was faintly hopeful that you were getting better. The fact that I was told the medical establishment in Gambia were unable to detect what was wrong with you and that you will have to go across borders to get help disturbed me. The wrong diagnosis and the wrong prescriptions you were given made me wonder how many more will meet the same fate as you.
Whilst convulsing in these anxious thoughts, suddenly, I saw my telephone flashing with a familiar number displayed on the screen, I knew something I didn’t want to hear was going to be conveyed. I stared at the
ringing phone and was dazed for some moments before summoning the courage to pick it up. I answered and the voice of Cousin Pa Omar (Damel) Faal came through, and he said to me: ‘Mbye is gone’, at that very second I felt my heart sinking in sorrow and I felt an inexplicable hollowness inside. Gloom took over and overwhelmed me. Tears started pouring out of my eyes. My little princess Olimata Mboge (moms namesake), gazed at me, wondering why my eyes were wet with tears. With her swift gait very similar to her sister’s (Aminata Mboge), she came and sad on lap. God bless her, kids as always think their parents are superhuman so it was puzzling and strange for her to see tears rolling down her dad’s cheeks. I looked at her and tried to explain that Uncle Mbye has died but no sound came out. Instead, she dabbed the tears from my eyes with soft sheets of tissue paper and gave me a hug and said to me in Norwegian ‘Deg
gå bra, Papa’ (It’s gonna be alright, Dad).
From that shattering phone call on May 15, 2008 and my subsequent visit to your resting place next to our beloved mother-Olimata Sarr (may her soul Rest In Peace), things have not been the same. My thoughts about many things and about people are blurred and convoluted. These days, I have less faith in the human species. Wariness about who is real or not has taken over the way I relate with people. Having clear thoughts has become an everyday struggle. I know you will say to me chill and just pray and to keep faith, but to tell you the truth, I am pissed off and disillusioned, hopefully God will forgive me.
I am often in a state of anger and anxiety since you left. I have chosen to become rather reclusive which I think is the best way to avoid going completely nuts. My demeanour has altered. Your departure to heaven has made me realise who are my real friends and family. I have
been naive about these things. I have decided I rather eat shit and go to hell than deal with hypocrites and scum calling themselves family and friends. It is a shame that this world prefers liars and deceitful people than otherwise. Liars and pretenders are revered, praised and glorified whilst those minding their business and have no ill-will towards anyone and trying to do good against all odds are chastised and chided for nought. These hypocrites pretend to be followers of Islam and what have you. You see them talking about being Godly and preaching about all kind of Sunna and Farata yet they are the greatest scummy vermin that have ever set foot on this earth. I hope you will forgive me but I am sure you understand where I am coming from because we spoke about these kinds of things when you were around.
Mbye, when you were taken to Dakar and finally admitted at Hospital Fann, you were less worried than me given the state of your health at the time. I pestered you with so many calls to check how you were doing and you told me that it is all good. Rather than thinking of yourself whilst admitted in hospital you were so worried about me that you had to ask a cousin of ours in Sweden to tell me to relax. You were full of optimism and vigour. Even at the last moment, you were able to make people laugh and your sense of humour was simply beautiful. Mbye, I miss the shared laughs and the funny banter I use to have with you even though we had not seen each other for nearly a decade before you said goodbye to this world. I could always count on your unconditional love, understanding and encouragement on whatever I told you I was trying to do. Your sincerity and friendship as well as brotherly
love have been a source of strength to me.
Mbye, my beloved brother, you never showed or sounded in any way that you were about to go forever when we spoke on Wednesday 14 May 2008, the day before you departed this world. Mbye ‘Betta ghama, ndeketeh yo bes boobay moi bu mujah bu maa wahtaana yoow, ndeysan dommi Adama hamut daara’. You were always dignified and stood tall among your peers. You were hard working and dedicated to your children. Mbye, perhaps it was best you left because you had little tolerance for pretentiousness. What’s more Mbye, you were appreciative and humble. You loved and cared for fairness, loyalty and the truth, never yielding to pettiness and perfidiousness. Mbye, thanks for being Mbye. I am sure you are at peace and happier in the heavens.
Mbye, you are in my thoughts 24/7. I know you would have said: ‘Mr Mboge as you fondly called me; you know you’re not the first one to have lost a loved brother and won’t be the last’; of which I would have replied: ‘Yes I am aware of that, no lectures please, it is simply that one cannot let go just like that if ones best friend is gone forever and that friend happens to be your brother’. I feel a deep sense of lose and sadness towards your departure from this wicked world, and it is really painful. I am not despairing but the disappointment about the lies, fake friendships and hypocrisy of family relations I came to realise has jolted me. The feeling of emptiness of your leaving forever, is even stronger than what I felt when both Mom and Dad left us. I really feel empty.
Mbye, you were not only a brother but a friend. I miss you a lot and there are moments I just
wish that the demiurge should let me join you in heaven right away.
You’ll always be with me as long as blood is flowing through my body and as long as I breathe you shall be in my mind.
Brother Mbye Baboucarr Mboge -Rest In Perfect Peace, Yalna Sooff Seyydeh, Yalna Arjannah di sa noflayy.
Bye, brother ’til we meet again.
Your brother,
Momodou Olly Mboge
Dublin, Rep. of Ireland
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