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The following is lifted from the Blog of a former colleague with Deloitte West and Central Africa, James Walton. James, a British by nationality was until last Friday Deloitte's Head of Clients & Markets for West, Central & East Africa. He had his base in Lagos but was also frequently visiting other places within the cited subregions of Africa where Deloitte had offices. Having spent 2 and half memorable year in Africa, the following are what he would miss and what he won't miss in or about Africa:
Bailo
What I’ll miss... and what I won’t... Part 1
Now I’m down to my last 6 weeks in Africa, I spend a lot of time thinking about what I will miss and what I won’t. I don’t know what Asia holds in store for me: maybe it will be better, maybe it won’t. Although I take quite a cynical stance on here sometimes and make fun of things around me, there are things I will really miss. But there are definitely things that I will not miss...
Taxi taxi
Picture the scene: you walk up to a taxi point. You’re in a hurry to get somewhere. 4 or 5 taxi drivers come running over holding their car keys up to you (that’s the sign that shows that they are a taxi driver!). You haggle a fare for your journey - quickly, because you’re in a rush - and jump in a taxi. The taxi drives 20 metres down the road and then pulls in at a garage so that he can put petrol (gas) in the car. He even asks you for money in advance on the fare to pay for the petrol. I’ve never had this anywhere in the world: taxi drivers who have cars with no fuel in them and wait until they pick someone up to fill it up.
Black or white
I grew up in politically correct societies in the UK and US: that’s not to say that I have not come across racism at various times, but obviously never really aimed at me, as I was never a minority. But what has surprised me most in Africa, particularly in Lagos, is what I would call ‘casual racism’. For example: when I go out running on the roads, people will literally shout “White!” at me as I run past. It’s as if they think they are making some pertinent point to me. I usually just wave and reply “Yes.” But every now and then it is more abusive: I’ve been called a ‘white monkey’ on a number of occasions as I run by. And I think to myself: if I even shouted just ‘Black!’ at a black person in the street in the UK, what would people think of me? And if I shouted at a Nigerian in Lagos what they shout at me, what would happen? I’d be lynched... a few months ago there was a UK soldier
in Nairobi who
was accused of calling a Kenyan policeman ‘black monkey’ in an argument in the street. The policeman announced it to the crowd gathering: the soldier was lucky to escape with his life, as the crowd swarmed in with the aim of beating him to death, another police car pulled up and managed to intervene. He was charged in court with racism though. Mind you: he maintains that he never said it and that the policeman made it up to get the passers by on his side, and it is only his word against the officer’s.
The other day in a shop, a security guard just looked at me and repeated over and over again, “Oyibo. Oyibo. Oyibo.” ‘Oyibo’ is the Igbo word meaning ‘white person.’ Again: can you imagine a white security guard in a shop in London pointing at a customer and making a similar comment? How long would they last in the job?
Kiss kiss
How do you get someone’s attention as they are passing by in the UK or the US? “Excuse me?” “Sir?” “Hello?”
If you’re in Africa - or at least in Lagos, Nairobi, Accra and other big cities - you get their attention by pursing your lips together and making a loud kissing noise. Very loud. It sounds silly: but this annoys the hell out of me.
Something for the weekend?
You’re driving home late at night: a half hour journey can involve 3 or 4 police checkpoints. The black-uniformed police point machine guns and torches into your car. They’re supposedly looking for armed robbers. They make your driver roll down the window....
“How are you, Sir? How’s your evening? Where are you going? Do you have anything for me? Something for the weekend?”
You’re going through security and customs at the airport...
“Do you think I am doing a good job, Sir?” Choose your answer wisely: if you answer “no”, you’re asking for trouble. If you answer “yes”...
“You should reward me then Sir.”
Or the customs man says to you..
“Did you have breakfast today Sir?” Again, you can’t win:
No: “Me also Sir. Can you give me something, its not good to work on an empty stomach.”
Yes: “I didn’t, I had to be here so early. Do you have a little something for me?”
In China, they execute people who take bribes. Nigeria could learn a lot from that.
I’ve got the power
You’re on the treadmill, halfway through a workout. Suddenly the power cuts out: you run into the treadmill dashboard chest first. Your workout data is lost. Your music, air conditioning etc. cuts off. And you’re seething.
You’re watching a DVD: the power cuts out. You’re microwaving something or toasting something and it cuts out. Your alarm clock goes off overnight. You’re in the shower and the electric water heater cuts out and you get a cold blast.
I won’t miss the appalling power supply of Lagos...
Africa time
My relocation agent said he would come to the apartment at 6pm to do a pre-move survey of the belongings to be shipped. I left work early to make sure I was there on time. I get there and I wait. And wait. At 6:15pm, my phone rings. “Are you home already?” “Yes,” I reply. “Okay, I’m leaving my office now.” His office is over an hour away.
The French CEO of a major telecoms company tells the story of his first week in Africa: someone was supposed to meet him at his office at 2pm. He was in his office and it got to 2:30pm. He called the guy on his mobile. He answered “Its okay, I’m just in the lift now. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
The CEO went back to work. After about minutes, he called the guy. “I’m in the car now, on the way. Be there soon.” “You told me you were in the lift?” the CEO asked. “Yes, in my office” he replied. In his office: on the other side of town. He eventually showed up after 4pm.
I’ve now reached a point of asking people what they really mean when they give me a time for a meeting or how long it will take to do something. If they tell me something will be ready in 15 minutes, I actually ask them: “An african 15 minutes or real 15 minutes?” Usually they pause and then answer “maybe 20.”
Now I’ve got all that off my chest, I can tell you what I’ll miss... so Part 2 will come later this week.
What I’ll miss... and what I won’t... Part 2
My last blog was all about things I won’t miss about Africa when I leave, so its only fair to get the balance and give the other side of the coin: the things that I really will miss.
Smiley happy people
You can’t help but smile when you meet people in the office, in a bar, in a shop... The people I met in Ghana, Nigeria, Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda, Zambia, Cameroon and Gambia – particularly Gambia – for the most part were incredibly friendly and welcoming. And they love to party: there’s not many places in the world where you can run a training where the punishment for being late for a session or a mobile phone ringing is that the people have to sing a song or do a dance. And when it happens to someone, they don’t complain or argue: they just jump up and start dancing.
Twiga, Tembo, Simba, Duma...
What can I say about the wildlife of Africa, particularly East Africa? You’ve only got to look at my photo albums on this blog to see how incredible it is. Unmatched anywhere in the world – the tallest animal, the 1st, 2nd and 3rd largest land animals, the biggest bird, the fastest land animal... how can anywhere else compete? And that’s before you start talking about the majestic lion, the beautiful leopard, the tiny dik-dik. I only wish I had had more time to experience other places: to go gorilla trekking, to visit Madagascar... but I have a lifetime ahead of me and I will return to Africa, of that I am sure.
This is Africa
In spite of all the problems, there’s a vibrancy here. A passion, an energy, an urgency, a spirit, a character... something that is uniquely African. It goes without saying, but you cannot experience that anywhere else. Africans have an incredible sense of optimism for the future: they truly believe that their time is coming. And belief is half the battle: belief can take you a long way when you have nothing else and give you strength when you have none. I believe in Africa: I believe in the potential that the people of this continent have. But I also believe that the continent has suffered from bad leadership for many years, and until that single problem is solved, progress will continue to be slow.
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