Revenge of Shirley Valentine: Humiliated gran refuses to divorce Gambian...so 


he'll never get a UK visa





Last updated at 10:37 PM on 24th October 2010


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It is a familiar story: British grandmother on holiday falls for young Gambian 


man and marries him only for the relationship to collapse.


The difference in this case, however, is that the African husband is the one 


left dreaming about what might have been.


Mary Cotnoir, 59, realised that 25-year-old waiter Demba Sanneh had wooed her 


purely because he wanted a visa to live in the UK.





Lovey-dovey: Mary Cotnoir, 59, became besotted with 6ft 6in Gambian Demba Senneh 


on a holiday to Gambia in January. They married shortly afterwards but within 


hours, the bridegroom turned cold


So she returned home without him, and is refusing to divorce him so he cannot 


seek another British bride.


‘I plan to stay married to this man so he can’t do what he’s done to me to 


another woman,’ said the nurse from Mansfield, Nottinghamshire. ‘He broke my 


heart and I’ll never forgive him.’


 


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Mother-of-five Mrs Sanneh – despite the episode, she prefers to be known by her 


married name – met her husband-to-be while visiting the West African country for 


two weeks in January this year.





All white on the night: Mrs Sanneh and her 26-year-old husband both wore white 


on their big day


In an echo of the movie Shirley Valentine about a smitten holidaymaker, she 


quickly fell for the 6ft 6in waiter.


‘He was very athletic – I thought he was absolutely gorgeous,’ she said. ‘It did 


cross my mind that he might only want to be with me because I was British, but 


those fears evaporated when we were together.’


Mrs Sanneh, whose previous marriage ended in divorce, added: ‘I’d been single 


for 20 years and this man made me feel more alive than I had in years. On the 


second night he told me he was falling in love with me and we slept together 


soon after that. 


‘He seemed so sincere. He told me he despised the kind of men who saw English 


women as their ticket into Britain.’





Till death us do part: Mrs Sanneh plans to stay married to Demba so that he 


can't marry another women in order to get a UK passport


At the end of her holiday, she reluctantly went home but returned in March and 


within 24 hours Mr Sanneh proposed. ‘I hadn’t been expecting it,’ she said. ‘But 


I said yes. I was madly in love.’


The couple had planned to marry in the UK but Mr Sanneh’s application for a 


tourist visa was refused.


Instead, his bride returned to Gambia in September and paid £500 to be married 


in a traditional civil ceremony. 


She said: ‘It was a magical day. Demba’s entire family were there – about 50 of 


them – and there were drummers and dancing. 


‘I wore a lovely white dress and Demba told me how beautiful I looked. It truly 


was the happiest day of my life.’


Within hours of the wedding, however, she says her husband’s behaviour changed.


‘Demba started demanding money for him and his family. He became moody and 


withdrawn. He refused to sleep with me. In fact, he stopped being affectionate 


altogether.’


By the time Mrs Sanneh was due to return home eight days later, she knew the 


marriage was over. 


‘He didn’t even give me a kiss goodbye at the airport,’ she said. 


‘Right up until I left he was asking me for money. In the end I gave him the 


last of my foreign notes just to keep him quiet.’





Family affair: Mrs Sanneh poses with her new husband and his relatives. But soon 


afterwards she claimed that he turned cold and demanded money from her


She added: ‘None of my children attended the wedding because I didn’t tell 


anyone apart from my youngest son. He was always against it – he’s the same age 


as Demba and he couldn’t understand why a young man would want to be with a 


woman my age.’


The most recent Home Office statistics show that in 2008 115 Gambians were 


granted British citizenship after marrying UK nationals.


Yesterday Mr Sanneh was still insisting his intentions were honourable. On the 


phone from Gambia, he said: ‘We got married as I want to be her husband. I am 


still her husband. I know Mary is in the UK but I would like our marriage to 


work out.’


But his bride said: ‘I feel so stupid and humiliated. Although I’m lucky I 


didn’t part with lots of cash – I gave him a few hundred pounds for driving 


lessons and bought him a £400 laptop and a mobile – it doesn’t lessen the pain.


‘I’d planned to retire and spend the rest of my life with Demba, living for half 


the year in Gambia and half in the UK, but that dream is now shattered. 


‘He’s hurt me more than I could ever imagine.’


 


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