Mr. Okonkwo's humurous yet witty piece below reminds me of Prof. Ali
Mazrui's The Trial of Christopher Okigbo, the Nigerian poet who died at the
crossroads of insanity.  Good imagination!

_________

>From: Madiba Saidy <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Julius Nyerere Chats with Angel Gabriel
>Date: Wed, 27 Oct 1999 10:21:48 -0700
>
>Enjoy.
>
>Cheers,
>          Madiba.
>-----------------
>
>**********************************************************************
> >
> > Gabriel: Welcome Mwalimu, to the Great Beyond. How was your flight?
> >
> > Nyerere: Oh! wonderful. But how come you know that my people call me the
> > Mwalimu?
> >
> > Gabriel: Shall we say that the Heavens are watching ...closer than the
>big
> >
> > brother could ever do.
> >
> > Nyerere: That's interesting! This place must then be full of surprises.
> >
> > Gabriel: Yes, of course. Let me give you a tour of this estate. As we go
> > along, you are free to ask me any question.
> >
> > Nyerere: Does it mean everyone dead is here?
> >
> > Gabriel: Some are here. Some are at the other side. We call the other
>side
> >
> > the West Wing. You don't want to go there.
> >
> > Nyerere: Really?
> >
> > Gabriel: Oh, yes. It is a monster of a place. Even the big Boss who
> > created
> > it did not envisage what is going on there.
> >
> > Nyerere: Wonderful! lets see, where is my friend Jomo?
> >
> > Gabriel: You will be meeting Mr. Kenyetta shortly. His mansion is coming
> > up.
> > When you were down there, he used to be so worried about you. He was
>fond
> > of
> > saying that you were a good man, with some good ideas, but trapped in a
> > bad
> > worldly system. He would be glad to meet you.
> >
> > Nyerere: You know, there is one question I said I would ask you guys up
> > here
> > and see if anyone has an answer to it. Why did "Ujamma" fail?
> >
> > Gabriel: Oh! karl Marx asked me a similar question in 1989 when
>socialism
> > crumbled. You see, in as much as it is good to love one another, the
>human
> >
> > spirit will never be eager to accomplish much unless there is a
> > competitive
> > environment and a possibility of personal reward.
> >
> > Nyerere: But it leads to exploitation. Man's inhumanity to man. Have you
> > looked at the United States lately?
> >
> > Gabriel: I agree with you. That is why the real struggle is to find the
> > balance. We want man to use his will. We want him, on his own, to do
>what
> > is
> > right. We do not want any force or sanction. As for the United States,
>our
> >
> > camera is constantly on it. Though I can tell you its past noon there.
> >
> > Nyerere: What do you mean past noon?
> >
> > Gabriel: I forgot you are still new here. It's one of the jingos we use
> > over
> > here. By that we mean that its prime time is over. The spotlight has
>gone
> > to
> > somewhere else.
> >
> > Nyerere: Where? Africa?
> >
> > Gabriel: Not yet. Another hundred years, the renaissance will kick off
> > properly.
> >
> > Nyerere: Who is that?(Pointing at a red cap wearing man on the soccer
> > field)
> > Zik of Africa?
> >
> > Gabriel: No! That's not him. That's Christopher Okaigbo.
> >
> > Nyerere: Where is Zik?
> >
> > Gabriel: I'm sorry, he is at the other side.
> >
> > Nyerere: You don't mean it?
> >
> > Gabriel: Oh, Yes. Here we don't mince words.
> >
> > Nyerere: What about Awo?
> >
> > Gabriel: He is also at the other side.
> >
> > Nyerere: What of Belewa?
> >
> > Gabriel: That one too.
> >
> > Nyerere: So all the Nigerians are over there?
> >
> > Gabriel: Virtually all of them. You see, he who much is given, much is
> > expected of him. With virtually nothing, you were able to unite a
>people.
> > But the Nigerian bunch, with almost everything, they achieved almost
> > nothing. You need to see the day Fela welcomed Idiagbon into the West
> > Wing.
> > It was a classic Don king's rumble in the jungle.
> >
> > Nyerere: So who do you have here? Mobutu?
> >
> > Gabriel: It is good you mentioned him. When Mobutu arrived at the gate,
>he
> >
> > was quite surprised as to where he was heading to. He tried to argue
>with
> > our staff that he deserved a better place. If I could remember very
>well,
> > his last words before he was plunged into the West wing pool was that
>the
> > heavens have more need of him than he needed the heavens. Something like
> > that. Some of you guys can be funny.
> >
> > Nyerere: So tell me, do you guys really punish people. Like those who
> > killed
> > Patrick Lumumba?
> >
> > Gabriel: Of course, we do. Remember that Nigerian man, who won an
>election
> >
> > and was kept in jail.... what's that his name again?
> >
> > Nyerere: Abiola?
> >
> > Gabriel: Yes, Abiola. We let him meet Abacha when he arrived. It was a
> > historic encounter. The West Wing has never sen anything like that. We
> > have
> > a video of that encounter. We shall play it for you when you are
>settled.
> >
> > Nyerere: I'm surprised by all these. So, are there some people in
> > purgatory?
> >
> > Gabriel: No! there is nothing like that over here. On that count, the
> > Catholic church got it wrong. But, like you will find out, there are so
> > many
> > areas where so many of you guys down there were off the mark. Like your
> > Arusha Declaration.
> >
> > Nyerere: That must be Nkuruma.(Pointing at a man with wrapper across his
> > shoulders)
> >
> > Gabriel: You are right! He and Lumumba are still playing with the idea
>of
> > African Unity. When I told them that Khadaffi seems to be the last man
> > left
> > who is championing that idea, they had a good laugh.
> >
> > Nyerere: So you guys monitor everything down there?
> >
> > Gabriel: Everything! Remember we gave you the eyes, the brain, the legs
> > etc.
> > So they all have chips that are hooked up to our network over here.
> >
> > Nyerere: Really?
> >
> > Gabriel: Yes! You know the funniest thing? Some of you guys come up here
> > pretending to have done well but they forgot that we know the money they
> > stole from their people, their opponents they killed, the mistresses
>they
> > had. We record everything. Like that man who killed Dele Giwa, we are
> > waiting for him. If I was to talk to some of those people, I did tell
>them
> >
> > to publicly confess to their evil deeds and subject themselves to the
> > severest punishment down there before they get up here. People like
> > Babangida, if they know what is good for them should start giving up
>every
> >
> > bit of material thing they possess. That is the only way of bettering
> > their
> > chance here.
> >
> > Nyerere: That is wonderful.
> >
> > Gabriel: I know. It's my job to watch those videos and review what wing
> > everyone is going to immediately we give the total recall order.
> >
> > Nyerere: So can you tell me what will happen to my friends Moi and
>Bango?
> >
> > Gabriel: I have been on Moi's case for a while because Jomo is always
> > worried about him. I had thought that the man should have learnt a thing
> > or
> > two from you, but he is so strong headed. He doesn't seen to understand
> > any
> > thing from history. Our patience with him is running thin. The same with
> > Bongo. As it is now, only a miracle can redeem the two.
> >
> > Nyerere: What of this mansion under construction? Who does it belong to?
> >
> > Gabriel: It belongs to the greatest African of the 20th century.
> >
> > Nyerere: Who?
> >
> > Gabriel: The man you guys called the White Muzungu himself.
> >
> > Nyerere: Nelson?
> >
> > Gabriel: Yes, of course.
> >
> > Nyerere: Oh! my God.
> >
> > Gabriel: He deserved it.
> >
> > Nyerere: Wait a minute? Who is that Climbing the stairs of that Mansion?
> >
> > Gabriel: Anwar Sadat.
> >
> > Nyerere: But he is a muslim? How come?
> >
> > Gabriel: You see, once again, you guys got it all wrong on that count
>too.
> >
> > Religion has nothing to do with it. Come over here and see your Daddy.
> >
> > Nyerere: My Dad?
> >
> > Gabriel: Yes! the Burito Nyerere himself. The other day, he was telling
>me
> >
> > that he is still mad he let you go to whiteman's school and that you
> > refused
> > to marry the girl he paid a lobola(bride price) for. He feels you would
> > have
> > been a better man if you had taken a different route. But he will get
>over
> >
> > them as soon as he sees you. It really is hard to get over to this side.
>A
> >
> > lot of people have their loved ones at the other end.
> >
> > Nyerere: How hard is it?
> >
> > Gabriel: Harder than winning the U.S. Visa lottery.
> >
> > Nyerere: You know, at Makerere University, I was thought that knowledge
>is
> >
> > power. How come it has remained true that only the dead are educated?
> >
> > Gabriel: It is simple! The knowledge you guys fight for are the wrong
>one.
> >
> > You remember Lake Victoria, there are more knowledge in that lake than
>you
> >
> > will ever find in that Edinburgh University of yours.
> >
> > Nyerere: So, explain this to me. What went wrong in Africa?
> >
> > Gabriel: Nothing!
> >
> > Nyerere: What do you mean nothing?
> >
> > Gabriel: Truly nothing. What Africa is suffering from is having the
>wrong
> > people, at the wrong places, at the wrong time. We are working on
>changing
> >
> > that. Remember, you helped us kick out Idi Amin from Uganda, we helped
>the
> >
> > Nigerians kick out Abacha, in no time, the sun of Africa will shine.
> >
> > Nyerere: Obviously, not in my lifetime.
> >
> > Gabriel: Why not? You will never die again. And from here, you too shall
> > be
> > watching. It is only those at the other end who will not have a clue as
>to
> >
> > what is going on. Here is your mansion. The next one is your Dads. My
> > beeper
> > just went off. The big Man needs me. I hope you will like it here.
> >
> > Nyerere: Thank you very much Angel Gabriel. But where are the keys?
> >
> > Gabriel: Mwalimu, the doors are not locked. Remember you have crossed
>the
> > bridge... and across the bridge, there'll be no more sorrow/ across the
> > bridge there'll be no more pain/ the sun will shine/... and you'll never
> > be
> > unhappy again...
> >
> > Nyerere: Jimmy Reeves.
> >
> > Gabriel: You're correct. I know it will surprise you. But we do small
>rock
> >
> > and roll over here.
> >
> >
> >
>---By Ruddy Okonkwo
>
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