Mr. Okonkwo's humurous yet witty piece below reminds me of Prof. Ali Mazrui's The Trial of Christopher Okigbo, the Nigerian poet who died at the crossroads of insanity. Good imagination! _________ >From: Madiba Saidy <[log in to unmask]> >Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list ><[log in to unmask]> >To: [log in to unmask] >Subject: Julius Nyerere Chats with Angel Gabriel >Date: Wed, 27 Oct 1999 10:21:48 -0700 > >Enjoy. > >Cheers, > Madiba. >----------------- > >********************************************************************** > > > > Gabriel: Welcome Mwalimu, to the Great Beyond. How was your flight? > > > > Nyerere: Oh! wonderful. But how come you know that my people call me the > > Mwalimu? > > > > Gabriel: Shall we say that the Heavens are watching ...closer than the >big > > > > brother could ever do. > > > > Nyerere: That's interesting! This place must then be full of surprises. > > > > Gabriel: Yes, of course. Let me give you a tour of this estate. As we go > > along, you are free to ask me any question. > > > > Nyerere: Does it mean everyone dead is here? > > > > Gabriel: Some are here. Some are at the other side. We call the other >side > > > > the West Wing. You don't want to go there. > > > > Nyerere: Really? > > > > Gabriel: Oh, yes. It is a monster of a place. Even the big Boss who > > created > > it did not envisage what is going on there. > > > > Nyerere: Wonderful! lets see, where is my friend Jomo? > > > > Gabriel: You will be meeting Mr. Kenyetta shortly. His mansion is coming > > up. > > When you were down there, he used to be so worried about you. He was >fond > > of > > saying that you were a good man, with some good ideas, but trapped in a > > bad > > worldly system. He would be glad to meet you. > > > > Nyerere: You know, there is one question I said I would ask you guys up > > here > > and see if anyone has an answer to it. Why did "Ujamma" fail? > > > > Gabriel: Oh! karl Marx asked me a similar question in 1989 when >socialism > > crumbled. You see, in as much as it is good to love one another, the >human > > > > spirit will never be eager to accomplish much unless there is a > > competitive > > environment and a possibility of personal reward. > > > > Nyerere: But it leads to exploitation. Man's inhumanity to man. Have you > > looked at the United States lately? > > > > Gabriel: I agree with you. That is why the real struggle is to find the > > balance. We want man to use his will. We want him, on his own, to do >what > > is > > right. We do not want any force or sanction. As for the United States, >our > > > > camera is constantly on it. Though I can tell you its past noon there. > > > > Nyerere: What do you mean past noon? > > > > Gabriel: I forgot you are still new here. It's one of the jingos we use > > over > > here. By that we mean that its prime time is over. The spotlight has >gone > > to > > somewhere else. > > > > Nyerere: Where? Africa? > > > > Gabriel: Not yet. Another hundred years, the renaissance will kick off > > properly. > > > > Nyerere: Who is that?(Pointing at a red cap wearing man on the soccer > > field) > > Zik of Africa? > > > > Gabriel: No! That's not him. That's Christopher Okaigbo. > > > > Nyerere: Where is Zik? > > > > Gabriel: I'm sorry, he is at the other side. > > > > Nyerere: You don't mean it? > > > > Gabriel: Oh, Yes. Here we don't mince words. > > > > Nyerere: What about Awo? > > > > Gabriel: He is also at the other side. > > > > Nyerere: What of Belewa? > > > > Gabriel: That one too. > > > > Nyerere: So all the Nigerians are over there? > > > > Gabriel: Virtually all of them. You see, he who much is given, much is > > expected of him. With virtually nothing, you were able to unite a >people. > > But the Nigerian bunch, with almost everything, they achieved almost > > nothing. You need to see the day Fela welcomed Idiagbon into the West > > Wing. > > It was a classic Don king's rumble in the jungle. > > > > Nyerere: So who do you have here? Mobutu? > > > > Gabriel: It is good you mentioned him. When Mobutu arrived at the gate, >he > > > > was quite surprised as to where he was heading to. He tried to argue >with > > our staff that he deserved a better place. If I could remember very >well, > > his last words before he was plunged into the West wing pool was that >the > > heavens have more need of him than he needed the heavens. Something like > > that. Some of you guys can be funny. > > > > Nyerere: So tell me, do you guys really punish people. Like those who > > killed > > Patrick Lumumba? > > > > Gabriel: Of course, we do. Remember that Nigerian man, who won an >election > > > > and was kept in jail.... what's that his name again? > > > > Nyerere: Abiola? > > > > Gabriel: Yes, Abiola. We let him meet Abacha when he arrived. It was a > > historic encounter. The West Wing has never sen anything like that. We > > have > > a video of that encounter. We shall play it for you when you are >settled. > > > > Nyerere: I'm surprised by all these. So, are there some people in > > purgatory? > > > > Gabriel: No! there is nothing like that over here. On that count, the > > Catholic church got it wrong. But, like you will find out, there are so > > many > > areas where so many of you guys down there were off the mark. Like your > > Arusha Declaration. > > > > Nyerere: That must be Nkuruma.(Pointing at a man with wrapper across his > > shoulders) > > > > Gabriel: You are right! He and Lumumba are still playing with the idea >of > > African Unity. When I told them that Khadaffi seems to be the last man > > left > > who is championing that idea, they had a good laugh. > > > > Nyerere: So you guys monitor everything down there? > > > > Gabriel: Everything! Remember we gave you the eyes, the brain, the legs > > etc. > > So they all have chips that are hooked up to our network over here. > > > > Nyerere: Really? > > > > Gabriel: Yes! You know the funniest thing? Some of you guys come up here > > pretending to have done well but they forgot that we know the money they > > stole from their people, their opponents they killed, the mistresses >they > > had. We record everything. Like that man who killed Dele Giwa, we are > > waiting for him. If I was to talk to some of those people, I did tell >them > > > > to publicly confess to their evil deeds and subject themselves to the > > severest punishment down there before they get up here. People like > > Babangida, if they know what is good for them should start giving up >every > > > > bit of material thing they possess. That is the only way of bettering > > their > > chance here. > > > > Nyerere: That is wonderful. > > > > Gabriel: I know. It's my job to watch those videos and review what wing > > everyone is going to immediately we give the total recall order. > > > > Nyerere: So can you tell me what will happen to my friends Moi and >Bango? > > > > Gabriel: I have been on Moi's case for a while because Jomo is always > > worried about him. I had thought that the man should have learnt a thing > > or > > two from you, but he is so strong headed. He doesn't seen to understand > > any > > thing from history. Our patience with him is running thin. The same with > > Bongo. As it is now, only a miracle can redeem the two. > > > > Nyerere: What of this mansion under construction? Who does it belong to? > > > > Gabriel: It belongs to the greatest African of the 20th century. > > > > Nyerere: Who? > > > > Gabriel: The man you guys called the White Muzungu himself. > > > > Nyerere: Nelson? > > > > Gabriel: Yes, of course. > > > > Nyerere: Oh! my God. > > > > Gabriel: He deserved it. > > > > Nyerere: Wait a minute? Who is that Climbing the stairs of that Mansion? > > > > Gabriel: Anwar Sadat. > > > > Nyerere: But he is a muslim? How come? > > > > Gabriel: You see, once again, you guys got it all wrong on that count >too. > > > > Religion has nothing to do with it. Come over here and see your Daddy. > > > > Nyerere: My Dad? > > > > Gabriel: Yes! the Burito Nyerere himself. The other day, he was telling >me > > > > that he is still mad he let you go to whiteman's school and that you > > refused > > to marry the girl he paid a lobola(bride price) for. He feels you would > > have > > been a better man if you had taken a different route. But he will get >over > > > > them as soon as he sees you. It really is hard to get over to this side. >A > > > > lot of people have their loved ones at the other end. > > > > Nyerere: How hard is it? > > > > Gabriel: Harder than winning the U.S. Visa lottery. > > > > Nyerere: You know, at Makerere University, I was thought that knowledge >is > > > > power. How come it has remained true that only the dead are educated? > > > > Gabriel: It is simple! The knowledge you guys fight for are the wrong >one. > > > > You remember Lake Victoria, there are more knowledge in that lake than >you > > > > will ever find in that Edinburgh University of yours. > > > > Nyerere: So, explain this to me. What went wrong in Africa? > > > > Gabriel: Nothing! > > > > Nyerere: What do you mean nothing? > > > > Gabriel: Truly nothing. What Africa is suffering from is having the >wrong > > people, at the wrong places, at the wrong time. We are working on >changing > > > > that. Remember, you helped us kick out Idi Amin from Uganda, we helped >the > > > > Nigerians kick out Abacha, in no time, the sun of Africa will shine. > > > > Nyerere: Obviously, not in my lifetime. > > > > Gabriel: Why not? You will never die again. And from here, you too shall > > be > > watching. It is only those at the other end who will not have a clue as >to > > > > what is going on. Here is your mansion. The next one is your Dads. My > > beeper > > just went off. The big Man needs me. I hope you will like it here. > > > > Nyerere: Thank you very much Angel Gabriel. But where are the keys? > > > > Gabriel: Mwalimu, the doors are not locked. Remember you have crossed >the > > bridge... and across the bridge, there'll be no more sorrow/ across the > > bridge there'll be no more pain/ the sun will shine/... and you'll never > > be > > unhappy again... > > > > Nyerere: Jimmy Reeves. > > > > Gabriel: You're correct. I know it will surprise you. But we do small >rock > > > > and roll over here. > > > > > > >---By Ruddy Okonkwo > >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- > >To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L >Web interface at: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/gambia-l.html > >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L Web interface at: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/gambia-l.html ----------------------------------------------------------------------------