Sent: Monday, November 01, 1999 4:00 AM
Subject: Intellectually Deprived People


> They should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm stupid." That way
> you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything.
> It would be like "Excuse me ... oops, never mind. I didn't see your
> sign."
>
> It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California, our
> house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway.
> My friend comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?"  "Nope. We just
> pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many boxes it
> takes.  Here's your sign."
>
> A couple of months ago, I went fishing with a buddy of mine. We
> pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of
> bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them
> fish?"
>
> "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
>
> I was out in the front yard with my boy the other day and he was
> playing with his little friend. My  boy had hit his friend, so I went up
to him and I said, as I smacked the boy, "Hey, we don't hit." He looked up
at me like, "Here's your sign, Dad."
>
> I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
> There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. There's only one way to test
that ...  "All right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good ...
They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell
> us if it hurts when they bite you."
> "Well, all right ... hold my sign, I don't wanna lose it."
>
> Several weeks ago I was driving around and I had a flat tire. I pulled my
truck into one of these side-of-the-road gas stations. The
> attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he
> said, "Tire go flat?"
>
> I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. No, I was driving around and those other
three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
>
> We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to
> the house, drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then
goes, "Darn! That's hot!" See ... If he'd been wearing his sign, I could
have stopped him.
>
> Received from Paul Calvert.

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