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Kay:

In a message dated 97-02-18 23:00:12 EST, you write:

<< We had one of those experiences today that I fear will happen many times
   in the future and I am wondering how to handle it... >>

I think that your recent experience was unusual and that you shouldn't let it
get you down.

Our daughter regularly attends birthday parties and other events without any
problem. We stress to our daughter that everyone has something that they
can't eat, and therefore, she's not that unusual. In general, we downplay the
diet as simply a fact of life. I find that most of her friends' parents
either don't remember that she's on a special diet or want to go out of their
way to accommodate her. When she gets party invitations, I call to accept the
invitation and then ask what food will be served. Usually, of course, it's
pizza or something else that our daughter can't eat, so I tell the other
parent that I'll be making pizza for our daughter and that she'll bring it
along in a lunchbox. If I'm staying at the party, I just give it to her
unobtrusively when the other kids eat; if not, I leave the lunchbox with the
host. No one ever seems to mind. I usually try to make a GF version of
whatever's being served at the party. When our daughter was 3, I always had
to be at the party (but so were all the other parents) and watch very
carefully. Now that she's nearly 6, she knows which sodas and candy she can
have, and she knows enough to be sure that she eats only her own pizza and
cake. So it does get easier.

Even on play dates, I just tell the other parent that I'll be sending along
snacks and if they want to provide a snack, some fresh fruit or fresh
vegetables and some juice or milk will be just fine.

Our very good friends usually keep some GF snacks and GF pasta on hand to be
sure that they always have something for our daughter to eat.

Like Linda Blanchard, we also let our daughter eat at MacDonald's -- fries,
juice, and a bunless burger. She loves it!  I also agree with Linda that the
best thing to do is to let people know that you'll provide snacks for your
son, so it won't be any trouble for them.

And it's really sweet to see the interest that our daughter's friends take in
helping her avoid foods that she shouldn't eat.

Evelyn Sasmor