Mr Njie
Muslim Women get to keep their names even if they are married . They do
not have to change it but the children are named after the father for
the obvious reason . The man is their dad and secondly for inheritance
(legal documents and for identification purposes0
Habib
momodou njie wrote:
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> [Women] In the name of the
[bol.com] father, or should that be
the mother?
Six out of 10 women think
giving a child his or her
father's surname is
Search this sexist. One in three men
site are fuming about it. So,
asks Stephanie Theobald,
what's a modern couple to
do when it comes to
settling on a name for
the little ones?
Tools
Text-only Friday July 30, 1999
version [Image]
Send it In my mother's day it was
to a [Image] easy: you picked up your
friend letter and it had "Mrs
Read it Roy Bertram Theobald"
later [Image] written on the envelope.
See saved You didn't think: "This
stories [Image] makes me sound like a
drag queen." You didn't
burst out laughing. If
The you thought about it at
Guardian
all, you'd think, "Oh,
Front page[Image] how polite," or, "Oh,
Story it's properly addressed,"
index [Image] and then you'd get on
with laying the breakfast
In this section table.
In the name of
the father, or Today, women frown at you
should that be in confusion if you ask
the mother? them if they are taking
on their husband's first
The problem names, as well as his
surname. They may then
smile, but only out of
civility. A woman
changing her name in any
The way at all is seen as
Observer
Front page[Image] risqué in some circles.
Story She might refer to
index [Image] herself as Mrs Theobald,
but only to her friends,
[UP] and only as a joke.
This week's spirited
outburst from the
newlywed Mrs Victoria
Beckham about the joys of
giving up her maiden
name, Adams, and taking
on her beloved's surname,
was curiously shocking.
"I feel much more famous
now," she confided to the
tabloids. "When I say I'm
Victoria Beckham, a lot
more people take notice
and know who I am."
But Posh - as the Sun
continues to call her -
has already made an even
more telling decision.
The couple's son, born
out of wedlock, was of
course named Brooklyn
Beckham. According to
figures released this
week by Bella Magazine,
Mrs Beckham is flying in
the face of modern
thinking. A suitably
unscientific poll of 500
men and women apparently
revealed that 63% of the
women would refuse to
give their child its
father's surname, while
25% were adamant they
would give the child
their own surname.
This appears to suggest
that 38% of the women
polled would use neither
their own surname or the
father's surname for
their children. So what
are they going to do? The
answer is painfully
simple: like so many
modern couples, they're
going to fudge it.
One fudging-it option is
to dream up a new surname
for your children. You
can even be radical about
it. Jackie Olive, 34, a
housing officer, is the
mother of two children by
two different fathers.
She decided that she
didn't want to call her
two little girls either
by her surname - which
she had always disliked -
or the surnames of the
children's fathers.
Following in the
footsteps of Courtney
Love and Kurt Cobain (who
gave their daughter,
Frances, the surname
Bean), Jackie, with the
agreement of the
respective fathers,
decided to give her
daughters completely
independent surnames.
When her first daughter
was born, Jackie
registered her as Jaime
Georgia Ruby Jazz. "Her
father was a jazz fan,"
she says. "I've always
thought the obsession
with surnames was mere
vanity. I'm suspicious of
people who have kids
because they want their
name and their genes to
be carried on. You know
the child is yours. A
name is just
incidental."
A few weeks later, Jackie
decided that Jazz sounded
ridiculously hippie as a
surname, so she went back
to the register office,
paid £50 and changed
Jaime's surname to Wild.
Her second daughter is
called Mathilda Wild.
Jackie says it was an
idea she had when she was
active at Greenham Common
- "at that time a lot of
women were calling their
kids Wild. It was a kind
of screw the
establishment thing. The
idea was that if everyone
was called the same name
then the state couldn't
keep tabs on you, they
would never have your
real identity."
The double-barrelled
option, formerly the
preserve of the upper
classes, is becoming
increasingly common - 23%
of families now boast
more than one surname. It
tends to satisfy both
parents, once they've
finished rowing about
which order their names
should go in, but
traditionalists are
predictably horrified.
Charles Kidd, author of
Debrett's Peerage and
Baronetage, describes the
[Image] [Image]trend as "tedious". He is
particularly incensed by
the "hyphen issue" and is
irritated by couples such
as Tom Cruise and Nicole
Kidman, who have given
their children, Isabella
and Connor, the surname
Kidman Cruise. "If you
are going to give your
child a double-barrelled
name, at least you must
hyphenate it or nobody
knows if it is a first
name or a surname," he
says.
Splicing surnames to
create a new name is
becoming another popular
option but such
compromises are rarely
settled on without a
battle.
Women have been given
their husband's surname
since the middle ages and
it remains largely a
patriarchal phenomenon.
In South America and
Spain, a child is given
two surnames - one from
its mother and one from
its father. But it's
still the father's name
which is passed on to the
next generation.
British couples actually
have it fairly easy,
since they are free to
call their children
anything they like on the
birth certificate. In
France, children must
take either the mother's
surname or the father's,
or, in exceptional
circumstances, both
surnames. But that's it.
You even have to make a
special trip to the town
hall to plead with
notaries if you want to
give your child an
unusual first name. There
was a recent case of a
disappointed parent who'd
wanted to call his son
Tarzan.
The Bella survey suggests
that British men would
happily trade in their
right to call their first
daughter Batgirl in
return for a guarantee
that their surname will
make its way down the
generations. Only one in
five men questioned said
they would agree to their
child taking its mother's
surname. A third of them
said they believed women
were being selfish if
they insisted on giving a
child their own surname.
Susan Hastings, 33, a
mature student from
London, says she never
realised what a big deal
it would be to give her
baby son her own surname
instead of her male
partner's. Her partner,
Sam, was initially
extremely unhappy about
the idea, although he was
loath to admit it. "My
name's come down through
my family for generations
and that means something
to me," he says. "I also
can't help feeling
slightly annoyed that my
son's names don't reflect
mine in any way, as if
the mother is somehow
more important
nowadays."
The in-laws may also be
less than delighted. "My
parents were pleased,"
Susan says, "but my
partner's mother was a
bit upset. She'd wanted
our baby to have her
maiden name, which at
least was more of a
matriarchal idea."
Susan now wishes she'd
given her 10-month-old
son a different,
unrelated, surname, but
thinks it's too late to
change it now. "When you
think about it, the male
root always gets through
anyway," she says. "My
name, Hastings, is from
my father."
And, finally, a
cautionary tale for all
those women caught up in
the first flush of love
who decide to renounce
their name for their
husband's and then start
breeding. Jane Hoskin,
36, lives in a tiny
village in Scotland.
Three years ago she
married a man, whom we'll
call David Stevens. They
had a child named Holly
who took her father's
surname. Then Jane
discovered that her
husband was an alcoholic.
He left them a year
later.
"The biggest
disappointment in my life
is that Holly bears the
surname of that odious
wanker," says Jane.
"Because his name is on
the birth certificate I
can't change it back to
my name without his
permission - and he won't
give it. At school she
had to be registered as
Stevens. Sometimes it's
embarrassing. This is
such a small village.
Everyone knows everyone.
The name Stevens has a
real stigma attached to
it."
She now wants to kick
herself for changing her
name. "I think my
original decision had
something to do with the
strange process you go
through when you're
pregnant," she says. "You
become more dependent on
the male partner. I felt
the need to be protected.
Giving Holly his name
seemed natural."
[UP]
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