Not to bore folks here, Maafanta was hot again this past few days. I salute the annonymous writer AMNA for the brilliant piece made on the subject. I pick this few except from his/her statement:
"So here in order to understand the cultural underpinnings of Western civilization's practice of monogamy, one should also see its moral dimension. It seems that Western society inherited the non practice of polygamy but still tolerates serial monogamy, mistresses, et cetera, so if one looks at polygamy from a strictly sexual pursuit perspective, men from both polygamous and monogamous societies pursue multiple sexual partnerships, condoned by their societies on one form or another. MY POINT HERE IS  THAT THE BOTTOM LINE IS THE SAME (excluding any moral context) and recent examples of such in the West are Francois Mitterand, wife and official mistress, Pres Sarkozy, serial monogamist (3 wives to date), Berlusconi (serial monogamists and mistresses), Bill Clinton (monogamist and mistresses." AMNA
It is fitting that all the key ladies have now aired their opinion on the subject. It may now be necessary for others to have a say. 
the truth here is not straight forward. For instance, Jabou concor with Fatou Jaw's argument that polygamy is not suitable in the west but i guess is good for unregulated serial girl friendship and free alotment in the sides of both men/women. But do the sisters realy think that, men like marrying more than one wife? 
No man would actually ever marry a second wife if adultry is not against God's commandment.
 What is more sweet than, chanting a bird and enjoy each other's company without any cost? 
Polgamy is a baggage that is not easy to carry. 
The picture is not a rembrant telling us untracted history. Women in England are marrying already married men not for paper or financial gains.
 This women are already sorted, but due to whatever reason, single men aren't coming for them. 
In Birmigham U.K, and other areas, this is not an issue. It is the women who sort the married men. 
Thanks AMNA, although you are too liberal on the gay and other same sex folks for me. never the less, a well thoughtout argument. write more
suntou


--- On Tue, 15/9/09, Halima Sukuna <[log in to unmask]> wrote:


From: Halima Sukuna <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Tuesday, 15 September, 2009, 2:44 PM







And YOU are not getting the fact, that I don't care an iota about what you are directing me to do.  Therefore, you can stop requesting now that I go away.  
 
Is the hug still out of the question?
 
Chris
 

--- On Tue, 9/15/09, Haruna Darbo <[log in to unmask]> wrote:


From: Haruna Darbo <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Tuesday, September 15, 2009, 7:51 AM



Hey Sukuro, I'm not your companion. I have been giving you nothing but love, so is it my problem you haven't realized it yet??? If you stop to friggin listen to me when I said No means No, you would have realized it sooner. I don't wanna hear it. And didn't you hear me say this item is close here on Ellen???? Go find someone else your size to pick on. What is wrong with yew??? Amarikans. I'll have you know I have Dukuray and Nderry here got my back. No one messes with me. Beta ax somebody. Like Mams and Mr. T.

[-----Original Message-----  From: Halima Sukuna [log in to unmask]  To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Tue, Sep 15, 2009 8:20 am  Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta. 





Haruna,] Sukuro.
 
What???
 
[The name is Sukuna. Call me Sukuna or Chris or Christine or even Crystal. Go light on the use of Crystal please since I am not feeling the love yet.] Sukuro.
 
Do you know what Sukuna means in Sarahulay??? If you did you wouldn't be telling me this. Ask Suntou what it were. Don't humbug me. You better be glad you're Sukuro. Life is like a box of ch...........
 
[I don't care if the items I have already listed hav e been stated or not previously.] Sukuro.
 
Watch your friggin language young lady when you speak with me.
 
[The key is that they have not come from me up until now and I am cuter than whoever stated them before.] Sukuro.
 
And why have you waited UNTIL NOW. Do we look like we got time to wait for cute folk???? And you didn't say you were prettier. Just cute. That is hardly an attribute to hang a lantern on.
 
[That's the difference!] Sukuro.
 
How do you mean?????
 
[Attn: List Management. You have really chosen I suckwad President of the welcoming committee or better yet, in a la Jammeh style he has taken on the task without being asked. Imagine that!] Sukuro.
 
You're pissin me off Sukuro. I'm not having another friggin cutie question my Presidential powers. Why are you comparing me to the idiot Yahya???? Don't piss me off already. 
 
[i am staying put you Mali loving, Ikai promoting, Tiger Woods fanatic piece of work.] Sukuro.
 
Wait a friggin minute. What has Mali, Ikea, and or Tiger Woods got to do with this Sukuro??? I find you to have extremist tendencies. Friggin Taliban.
 
[Now how about a hug?] Sukuro.
 0D 
What friggin ever. Ok place your right hand over your left shoulder. Now your left arm over the right shoulder. Squeeze. more snuggly. That's the only hug you're gonna get from me. Hug the kids for me too will ya. Now don't piss me off. Don't ever compare me to Yahya. Who do you think you're speaking with here????
You're lucky I'm happy this afternoon. Women!!!!!!! Haruna. Amarikan Women especially and their wannabes like my friggin Pal FJM. I know you people hold congress together. With Badjan no doubt. But fi ngen maa Fekk. And tell JDAM I don't wanna hear it. It is no surprise you're all PDOISards. I want you to know I had a friggin meeting with Father Mose and Banka last night. Guess what on????? You got it. The next time these idiots call me on a friggin way forward, I'll have them both arrested for torture and mental abuse. And they always make me pick up the tab. I've had it with these knuckleheads. You should've seen how Father Mose squirmed his way out of a gammy for yours truly. She's already married my foot. Who to??? That's what I wanna know. How come he had precedence over me when I spoke up first???? These PDOISards are on a mission to recruit more PDOISards by holy matrimony. I'm sick of 'em. Wowo. 

--- On Tue, 9/15/09, Haruna Darbo <[log in to unmask]> wrote:


From: Haruna Darbo < ;[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Tuesday, September 15, 2009, 6:07 AM



No it is not sufficient for now. Sukuro this is the most gratuitous cockamayme and garbaldigook I have read since Tiger Woods won the BMW championship at Cog Hill. And ain't no debate on this matter. It is closed here at Ellen. COntinue elsewhere.
 
How are you handling Ramadan? Heef got you??? Come back here and finish what you wanted to say. WHat you have said so far has already been shared. And it ain't her roof in the main. That is why DaarManso encourages considerations for guests no matter their mandate.in term. And who told you Poly-gammy is sharing one's husband????? Tell FJM that Haruna said she is looking at this gammy business all warped. WHen you marry a man, he is your husband and you are his wife. Kaput. You two fulfil your union according to your wishes and desires. I don't wanna hear about other men or women who may be married to the both of you at the same time. Those are your personal problems and purviews.
 
Like I said, this question is close for now. Go away.
Haruna. Father Mose I don't wanna hear it. Next time I will be busy, I will not announce that here. Because that is when y'all come out of your cocooons. Bye Gaddamm it.


-----Original Message-----
From: Halima Sukuna <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Mon, Sep 14, 2009 7:36 am
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta










Hi Suntou,
 
More roadblocks I see:)
 
Now you actually have figured out an outcome of the discussion before it has even had a chance to get off the ground and still yet, you have not answered my question.  Mama Mia!
 
So, as a non-practicing individual, I will take a crack at my own question in simple terms and perhaps, from your perspective you might have something to add to it. 
 
The proper way polygamy begins is through agreement; complete agreement amongst all individuals. It also requires an extreme amount of discipline from all parties; for the man, since the Quran is very specific,  he must be fair and just but, the woman's acceptance to this practice would require a high level of discipline/tolerance also since she would have to agree to share her husband with another individual or individuals.  I actual ly have no problem with any individual who chooses or believes in such an option since they all agree to it- that is without any pressure; or lack of choice in the matter.  It must be handled very carefully since we are talking about a life time choice between multiple people. I believe the problem ste ms in the fact that many individuals lack the discipline that is takes to carry it out successfully and may error in their ways by practicing it since its widely acceptable to do so in the society without very
 little regard to giving woman say in what happens under their roof. The woman may also be going with the flow since they feel that they have no choice in the matter. There also is a  lack of choice/alternatives to marriage for woman where the practice is acceptable, ie. women having access to education is limited or not possible so that a career that she can build to support herself may be a no-go. Another may be having no access to loans to start their own businesses.  Marriage can also start when a woman is extremely young and has not had a chance to fully develop herself emotionally, spiritually to advocate for herself when it comes to agreeing to a polygamous marriage.
 
My concerns as a woman regarding polygamy would be various and not limited to;
 
1. Are children educated at an earlier age surrounding this life choice and do they have the ability to discuss what they see in th eir own family as benefits or cons and is this done in an environment where both males and females can listen to each others responses? I think whether it is a marriage between one spouse or many that children and young adults should be dialoging on the topic in their schools; their mosques,their churches; as well as at home since its a very important matter that can have a big affect on their adult life. 
 
2. Is there any sort of pressure from society or a woman's family where her agreement to it may be forced, where she may feel forced to accept such an agreement without little say in the matter. I would find this to be highly unIslamic as well as deterimental to the happiness of all involved, particularily the woman/women.
 
3. What type of support system is in place for woman who wish to leave this type of an arrangemen if the man is not able to be fair and or just. Do the men pay child support/alimony in these cases? I would be particularily concerned for the obligations towards the children and the follow through of the man to ensure that all his kids are supported despite the relationship between the mother and the father.
 
4. The financial perspective.  From a financial standpoint; can the man really take care of all the needs of a multiple wife situation and multiple children? This is probably where I would advocate that this practice be done under special circumstances, ie. marrying a widow, an orphan, someone who may have physical or emotional challenges since I am having a hard time seeing how a country where poverty is rampant would actually experience a positive in thebenefits department in this type of an arrangement. If Islam makes=2 0the exception (I see you call it a recommendation) for men to marry more than one wife; he better be able to support that financially and I think the women should not have to contribute a dime towards the needs of the family financially. If done properly they should be saving every last dime they have in the event that something happens to the man. If the man can afford to pay for every last bite on their multiple wives
 plates and every last shoelace on their multiple kids shoes than for certain if they all agree and the man is able to be equal in every aspect to his wives; I see no issue with it.
 
5. Why is the man choosing, what I would consider doubling your responsibilities and how has he so far been as a husband to the first wife. Will the benefits outweigh the negatives? 
 
6. At what point in time are the women introduced and allowed alot of private time to talk about this arrangement?
 
7. I am saving my largest concern for last; My concern is how much consideration would a man give his first wife in the decision? 
 
The acceptance of it should be taken very seriously from both parties and although it is an acceptable practice I would advocate that the parties should be fully conscious and ready to accept all parts of it before walking into. Polygamy properly starts with agreement and I am not necessarily sure that folks go into it prepared well for the emotional aspects, the financial aspects that double when you add more than one individual into the family system. 
 
What would I offer up to solve the problem of the woman that outnumber the men but, wish to be married? In all honesty, its a tough question that would require first understanding why it is that they feel they need to be married, ie. is it for having children, needing the stability, societal pressure, sex, companionship, etc before I could ever promote a solution whether it was an exception listed in the teachings of the religion I choose to follow or not. 
 
I think this is sufficient for now. 
 

 See ya,
Chris Sukuna
 
 
 
 
 
 
--- On Fri, 9/11/09, SUNTOU TOURAY <[log in to unmask]> wrote:


From: SUNTOU TOURAY <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Friday, September 11, 2009, 7:40 PM



0D 



If you insist Christine, Polygamy is a recommendation of Islam.
So before we dive into it, the aceptance of islam is of key here. A none Muslim will fall back on what he/she found to be rational and logical, so for me to enter into an endless discourse with you is without merit.,
it is important to know whether i am talking to someone who is Muslim or not.
If you are not, then we will never agree on anything on the above subject. that is the straight truth Christine. I am not being disrespecful.
The whole debate will end up boiling down to women rights and so on and on. I respect your opinion and quest to know what suntou meant by if administer properly.
Is there any solution to the world surplus women population who wish to get married but can't find a single man?
Suntou

--- On Fri, 11/9/09, Halima Sukuna <[log in to unmask]> wrote:


From: Halima Sukuna <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Friday, 11 September, 2009, 11:15 PM







Hi Su ntou,
 
You can choose to cop out of the question; but, I think my background has nothing to do with the question I asked. You had mentioned considering it so I would have thought you would have given some considerations on just how you would properly function in that type of a relationship. I was curious so I asked the question based on some of your comments.
 
Take care,
Chris
 
.
 


--- On Fri, 9/11/09, SUNTOU TOURAY <[log in to unmask]> wrote:


From: SUNTOU TOURAY <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Friday, September 11, 2009, 3:21 PM







Many ways christine. many ways. But to share the fact with you will border on irrelevant dialoque as you are coming from a different experience. God knows better than me, i agree with what he recommends than what any man or woman might think is of superior disposition.
Suntou

--- On Fri, 11/9/09, Halima Sukuna <[log in to unmask] > wrote:


From: Halima Sukuna <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Friday, 11 September, 2009, 8:11 PM







Hi Suntou, 
 0A 
1. How do you administer polygamy properly?
 
Thanks,
-Chris
 
 
 
--- On Fri, 9/11/09, SUNTOU TOURAY <[log in to unmask]> wrote:


From: SUNTOU TOURAY <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Friday, September 11, 2009, 12:45 PM







Indeed Pa. The polygamy thing is blamed on men, but when you take a serious look, especially with so many available single (sisters) down the streets of banjul-Serre kunda, talkless of Upcountry. Women are pitting more against=2 0each other than the men.
I have seen highly educate women infact entrapping already married men, so the bug most stop somewhere. I was evening looking into it myself for all you know. But am scared to death of my wife, so i cooled down.
The marabou industry is booming becus of the women to women fight. the guys just20end with over blown tomy, after all the dark water mixed into pourage and domoda, the risk for all sides seems to be too high.
I support women's right, but also support the recommendation of the almighty God. This is not to say, brothers don't have the capacity to be fair and just. The brothers have to be fair and equatable, not doing that spell doom. No one can love two beautiful black sisters equally, lol-du possible, but at least be fair and just.
Polgamy is a solution if administered properly. Pa, Ron is disqualify to discuss this matter. he doesn't have one yet, so why should he put his mouth into talking about two or three?
Go guys,.
suntou

--- On Fri, 11/9/09, A. Jallow <[log in to unmask]> wrote:


From: A. Jallow <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: In catching up with Maafanta
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Friday, 11 September, 2009, 6:13 PM



Why should independent minded talented women make you sleepless? Support them if you can otherwise learn from them. 


-Abdoulie Sent from my iPhone

On 11 Sep 2009, at 17:37, [log in to unmask] wrote:




Suntu,
Feminism at its best at Maafanta. Our men folks should watch their backs. What is sister FJM and others unto? Girl cool down your temper. 
I would love to hear Rons views on this one. Some one needs to speak out. 
I read extensively about western feminist philosophers and their achievements. I will share the reasoning of Mary and others if time permits. I think it takes two to tango. 
I am a strong advocate for women's rights and empowerment. I will continue do that. 

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


From: SUNTOU TOURAY 
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 2009 06:39:12 +0000
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: In catching up with Maafanta






The sisters are talking tough man. The polgamy thing and all. I thought we are20cool with that, but guess what the sister are on to us. We need a plan! They are saying some of us are polgamying anyway, with our secerataries, and personal assistants. They are also=2 0saying, well then let it stay down in Gambi, not U.S or Europe.
Anyhow, the sisters wish to clearly define where and how polygamy should be practise. they don't like it and cannot like it.
I am sure all you brothers know for a fact that, 'no woman will ever like co-wife'. the sisters have raise their voices, did all kinds of make-up (fatou Jaw's) comments-- but when a Gambian man wish to take a second wife, there is no stopping him. not even the tones of moro's or serign's tupi tupis can do anything.
Now i am biggining to understand the magnitude of stress and sadness our sisters go through. but well, are there any plus side to polgamy? I mean, when you find beautiful black sisters having no problem whatsoever of becoming a second wife. all they want is someone to be it and share the joy of 'LOVE'. The guys too seems to be in a paka nyari borr situation too sisters.
 
The other topic at Maafanta that caught my eye was the analysis on uncle Sam by AMNA. he/she couldn't have put it any better. she/he diagnose Sam better than the best psyco-analyst. she/he just unravel Sam so good, one begins to look over his shoulder. Thanks AMNA.
 
www.maafanta.com.
my little thought.. not forgetting miss Aisha Saidy's=2 0brilliant counter to that of the notable Fatou Jaw. Now then bring on Jabou (the experience) Jow.
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