John Yahavich on the Rampage

By Baba Galleh Jallow

When I say this you say that and when I say that you say this. And now all 
of you are saying John Yahavich has arrested this man, John Yahavich has 
arrested that man. You open your big mouths and say John Yahavich has sacked 
this man and John Yahavich has sacked that man. Do you know why I arrested 
this man or why I sacked that man? Do you know what I know before you open 
your big mouths and start talking nonsense? Well let me tell you one thing: 
You and your stinking mouths can all go to hell or even beyond hell. I will 
do what I like and if you think you can challenge me, I will tell you that 
you are the biggest liar in the world. If you are a wrestler and you want to 
challenge somebody, you should come into the wrestling ring. But you stand a 
thousand miles away from the ring and you shake your hands and stamp your 
feet and you call yourself a wrestler. I will tell you that you are not a 
wrestler but a fool and a liar.

You think I am not hearing what some of you are saying about me? You think 
because I cannot read your so-called western writing I will not know what 
you are saying? But I say you are a thief and a liar because I can hear you 
ten thousand times more than you can even hear yourself because I have ears 
in every part of my body and every part of the world. And what makes me even 
more angry is that everybody is shouting about some so-called court case 
against me. Who are those people to take me to court? Who is that court to 
command me to appear before it? If you think you can take me to court why 
not come into this country and take me to court here? But you stay out of my 
country and you try to say you are taking me to court. Well I repeat that 
you can all go to hell – both you and that so-called court and all the 
judges and lawyers in the world.

I am sick and tired of fools and cowards sticking their poisonous tongues in 
matters that are none of their business and matters that they do not 
understand. And if some of you think you can meddle in my personal affairs, 
then I will ask you to go and wash yourself in the river because you must be 
dirty. And I must warn some of you who think that these so-called courts can 
order me around that you are all cowards and liars. This is my personal 
country and everything in this country is my personal property. If I say the 
birds must not fly in this country, or that the wind must not blow or even 
that the sun must not set, no one can challenge my words. I do not come into 
your compound and tell you how to treat your property and you think you can 
come into my compound and tell me how to treat my property. Then you must be 
the biggest fool and liar in the world.

I want to tell all those fools who open their stinking mouths and say John 
Yahavich do not care about so-called human rights to go to hell. Who are you 
to tell me about so-called human rights? What do you mean human rights? If 
you go to the western world – all their prisons are full of Africans – and 
they come here and try to talk about human rights. They send their spies 
into my country to come and try to throw me into the river by putting stupid 
ideas into the ears of the people and they think they can get away with it. 
If that is what they think, I will tell them that they are all fools and 
liars. Anyone who comes here and starts talking about so-called human rights 
or even animal rights will go six-feet-deep. And you can take me to any 
court you want on the face of this earth. I am not afraid of anybody in this 
world or even the next world if there is such a thing.

You see me holding things in my hands and you think I care about those 
things? That is why you are all fools, liars and cowards because when you 
see something you should not jump up and say I know what this thing is or 
what it means. Only I, John Yahavich, know what they mean and if you want to 
know you have to come and face me and ask me. Belay, belay, belay, you will 
then know who John Yahavich is.

Some of you jump up and say John Yahavich wants to sacrifice this man or 
that man to his gods. Well, what if I want to sacrifice somebody? What can 
you do about it? If I want to sacrifice anything in this country I will 
sacrifice it because everything in this country belongs to me, and no one 
can do anything about it. And if you don’t like it, you can go to hell and 
wait for me there. And those of you who write funny stories full of lies and 
even try to make me feel bad, I must tell you that you are all wasting your 
time and that you are all fools and liars who will never come into this 
country as long as you live. I have all your names on my list and for the 
next hundred years or even thousand years, I dare you to come here if you 
are truly your mother’s son. Belay, belay, belay, you will then know who 
John Yahavich is. It’s-a-mad-day.

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